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05-14-2013, 06:18 PM   #1
nogutsnoglory
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Anal sex with IBD

I'm going to let the cat out of the bag on an otherwise uncomfortable and somewhat taboo subject for some. Some gay and straight couples practice anal sex and I think it's important to have a frank discussion of when its safe to do so with IBD. The ideal would be to discuss this with a doctor but most people would be too embarrassed to broach the subject.

My thoughts are that it's totally fine if your rectal area is not affected by disease. But I'm not so sure if there are issues below.

What if there is an abscess, can it burst? Would a fistula or fissure get aggravated and tear more? What about existing inflammation? Would it hurt or get worse even using condoms and lubrication? What if you have an ostomy bag? How long after surgery or drainage is it safe?

I'm not sure what the correct answers are but know that it's a question likely on the minds of some.
05-14-2013, 06:55 PM   #2
DustyKat
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I don't practice anal sex so I hope you don't me chiming in ngng.

I agree with your thoughts that a disease free rectal area should pose no problem.

As to an abscess? If it is an abscess alone and located away from the anus then that too should pose no problem.

If you have an anal/rectal fistula, fissure and/or inflammation then I do think that anal sex will exacerbate the problem because you are creating friction and added trauma regardless of the use of condoms and lubricant.

An ostomy bag should make no difference whatsoever to partaking in anal sex after following the usual post op restrictions. IIRC it is normally about 4-6 weeks post op before commencing sexual activity again but I would think that would be a very individual thing to gauge. I would however take 4 weeks as a minimum. I also think position would play a big part too as to how comfortable sex is when you recommence.

Dusty.
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05-15-2013, 10:26 AM   #3
nogutsnoglory
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Dusty thanks for chiming in. I think everything you said makes perfect sense. The one thing I'm not sure about is a perianal abscess. Even if its in the cheek and away from the anus I'm not sure if the pressure would hurt it or potentially burst the infection.

I don't even know what would happen if an abscess burst from friction. Would that just be a good thing?
05-15-2013, 01:02 PM   #4
GutlessWonder86
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Just an fyi in case new patients have this question: if you have an ostomy, the stoma is USED FOR OUTPUT ONLY. It's NOT to be used for sex or other. The only thing allowed is a pediatric catheter for blockages or an ileoscope. Using the stoma for other things can harm it and cause serious problems.

This was posted in one of the rooms when I was waiting for my GI surgeon to check my surgical incision.
05-15-2013, 06:31 PM   #5
DustyKat
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Dusty thanks for chiming in. I think everything you said makes perfect sense. The one thing I'm not sure about is a perianal abscess. Even if its in the cheek and away from the anus I'm not sure if the pressure would hurt it or potentially burst the infection.

I don't even know what would happen if an abscess burst from friction. Would that just be a good thing?
If the abscess is away from the anus and not in contact with sexual activity then I don't see that it would be an issue. Contact to me would also include skin on skin IYKWIM as I would imagine direct contact with the abscess would be painful.

Probably best for an abscess to run it's own course with medical or surgical intervention rather than bursting from friction, not that I think the consequences would be dire if it did!

Dusty. xxx
06-11-2013, 07:48 PM   #6
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What would your views and opinions be for a person with crohns and short bowel syndrome engaging in anal sex. SBS with under 1 metre of intestine remaining?
06-11-2013, 08:18 PM   #7
nogutsnoglory
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What would your views and opinions be for a person with crohns and short bowel syndrome engaging in anal sex. SBS with under 1 metre of intestine remaining?
Do you still have your rectum? I think as long as your anal canal is in tact and the area is not inflamed it should be fine.

The best thing would be to discuss with a doctor. Easier said than done because I know I wouldn't bring it up.
02-17-2014, 06:58 PM   #8
durwardian
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I did discuss this with my doctor, and with the surgeon. I was surprised to hear that it is fine, even with a stoma. Just be sure to rinse well and take it easy. It is rare that sex goes beyond the second sphincter.
I once decided to see if sex would help my abscess, and it did, it got it to move out and drain. I wouldn't recommend that so much, but it worked. My surgeon was amazed that he had no work to do.
He is also of the opinion that it really doesn't matter if you have this disease, and that if you feel discomfort, disease or not, you need to stop.
For those who are interested, the tests for lubrication mixed with disinfectants used in oral surgery and safe on mucous membranes are successful. Yeah!
I've had doctor's try to tell me I'm sick like this because I'm gay. Needless to say, they are no longer my doctors. Such bull, if that were the case, every gay bottom would have issues like this.
02-17-2014, 10:20 PM   #9
Dragonfly72
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At my next GI appointment do you want me to ask for you? I don't mind, I will be seeing him with in a few weeks as I in the hospital now for the past several days & will need to follow up. Let me know my friend:-)

XO
M
02-19-2014, 10:34 PM   #10
nogutsnoglory
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I did discuss this with my doctor, and with the surgeon. I was surprised to hear that it is fine, even with a stoma. Just be sure to rinse well and take it easy. It is rare that sex goes beyond the second sphincter.

I once decided to see if sex would help my abscess, and it did, it got it to move out and drain. I wouldn't recommend that so much, but it worked. My surgeon was amazed that he had no work to do.

He is also of the opinion that it really doesn't matter if you have this disease, and that if you feel discomfort, disease or not, you need to stop.

For those who are interested, the tests for lubrication mixed with disinfectants used in oral surgery and safe on mucous membranes are successful. Yeah!

I've had doctor's try to tell me I'm sick like this because I'm gay. Needless to say, they are no longer my doctors. Such bull, if that were the case, every gay bottom would have issues like this.

That's outrageous that a doctor would say that to you. Millions of gay men exist yet only a handful have these kind of illnesses, one has nothing to do with the other.

That being said whether the area can be aggravated I'm not sure I guess it depends how far up the disease is. If you have fissures or fistula right near the end than I think it could be exacerbated and possibly reinfected. Certainly wouldn't dare do anything without a careful slow partner and condoms and lubrication.

This lube you mention that disinfects are you saying to use that for everyday sex? Is it even available to non medical professionals? Any names of products?
02-19-2014, 10:36 PM   #11
nogutsnoglory
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At my next GI appointment do you want me to ask for you? I don't mind, I will be seeing him with in a few weeks as I in the hospital now for the past several days & will need to follow up. Let me know my friend:-)



XO

M

You are so incredibly sweet! I don't want to put you in an uncomfy position and I also suspect the answer is highly dependent on the patient. I would be curious what they say about it with a rectal fistula. Can it tear open or get reinfected I have no clue.
02-19-2014, 10:58 PM   #12
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I've had doctor's try to tell me I'm sick like this because I'm gay.

Those doctors need to be curb stomped then.
02-19-2014, 11:30 PM   #13
Dragonfly72
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@NGNG, I will see what I can find out!!!!

Xo
M
02-20-2014, 12:01 AM   #14
durwardian
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That's outrageous that a doctor would say that to you. Millions of gay men exist yet only a handful have these kind of illnesses, one has nothing to do with the other.

That being said whether the area can be aggravated I'm not sure I guess it depends how far up the disease is. If you have fissures or fistula right near the end than I think it could be exacerbated and possibly reinfected. Certainly wouldn't dare do anything without a careful slow partner and condoms and lubrication.

This lube you mention that disinfects are you saying to use that for everyday sex? Is it even available to non medical professionals? Any names of products?
Yes. It is on the market under different brand names. As well as plenty of data about which lubes are actually damaging for the tissues, and should never be used.
I will look that up and let u know... brb
02-20-2014, 12:30 AM   #15
durwardian
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Here's one of the articles, generally, water-base and spermicides are very harsh on the membranes...

http://www.condomdepot.com/learn/detail.cfm/cid/248
02-20-2014, 12:38 AM   #16
durwardian
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http://www.starpharma.com/vivagel

There's one brand, there's another out of England, and 2 of them in the USA. Most of them are using chlorhexadine, diluted of course. The trials show some people feel a burning, some don't.
Hello, you get that with or without this, depending on how everything is going... anyway, silly how trials go at times. The clinical showed that people can't tell the difference. So this is very close to hitting the market everywhere.

Most condoms these days already have chlorhexadine on the as a preservative anyway, little known factoid. If you have a condom break, at least you have a backup protection system.

Not fool proof, but better than no protection.
02-20-2014, 03:24 PM   #18
mish2575
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Oh Man! I did stop anal sex when I developed fistulas, but luckily as a straight woman it wasn't too much to give up. I had never even THOUGHT about you poor gay men and transgendered who don't have a vagina as an option. Is it demeaning to say: I'm so sorry for you!

What a great thread to bring up Noguts!



Please forgive me if I've offended anyone with an ignorant comment-- and feel free to set me straight.
02-20-2014, 03:26 PM   #19
durwardian
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I see no offense, thank you for the sympathy.
02-20-2014, 04:24 PM   #20
nogutsnoglory
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Durwardian thanks for all of this great info! I need to digest it all but that's really crazy about the mainstream lubricants.

Mish thanks for your care and not offensive at all, it's sweet for you to weigh in. I'm sorry you had to give up that part of your sex life.
02-20-2014, 04:29 PM   #21
durwardian
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Durwardian thanks for all of this great info! I need to digest it all but that's really crazy about the mainstream lubricants.

Mish thanks for your care and not offensive at all, it's sweet for you to weigh in. I'm sorry you had to give up that part of your sex life.
I know, i kind of figured the lube issue out on my own, knowing which lubes caused the most issues.
It was time for an evaluation.
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