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11-01-2013, 12:04 PM   #1
Ki3
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Any other asexuals here?

Hi sorry to interrupt but haven't seen any asexual people here? I just wondered as it seems like nobody here represents the q or I or a in the lgbtqia
11-01-2013, 02:13 PM   #2
nogutsnoglory
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Ki3 I seem to recall an asexual person posting a few months ago but am not sure. Asexual people of course are totally welcome and certainly present with unique issues that should be discussed. I happen to know quite a bit about asexuality and have a close friend who is an ace. Do you self identify as asexual? How does that inform your experience? I know many still do seek romantic relationships which can be hard to find in a hypersexualized society.

We have also had self identified queers and intersex people here but they are an even smaller minority among an already minority group.
11-03-2013, 04:09 PM   #3
Ki3
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Oh ok I'm glad we are not excluded and I am asexual yeah How is everyone?xx
11-04-2013, 09:23 AM   #4
mccindy
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Welcome, Ki. Exclusion is certainly not anything we are about here! Everyone is something, it's just who we are. At least you know you are and are comfortable with it, there are many out there in the world who are not! Imagine trying to define a person simply by his or her sexuality or gender identity. Doesn't say anything about who he or she is as a person, does it? Actions towards others and the world in general are a much better definition of who people are, and right now there certainly are a lot of people who showing themselves to not be very good people. It's sad that people get hung up on such trivia.
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11-04-2013, 02:31 PM   #5
Ki3
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It doesn't really bother me that much, my friends just see me as "not interested" which is fine by me lol that way you don't get the childish "you fancy him don't you!!!" because they know that's just not me.
11-04-2013, 07:30 PM   #6
nogutsnoglory
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Ki3 are you familiar with AVEN? It's the Asexual Visibility Education Network and they are a community of asexuals and raise awareness that not everyone is interested in sex or they are to a lesser degree.

My friend who is asexual gets tired of people not understanding her and saying how she misses out big time. She isn't missing out if she doesn't like it and know what the fuss is about. On the flip side she has more time to enjoy life rather than worry about stuff sexual people do.

She also hates doctors assuming that she is straight or sexually active.
11-07-2013, 11:25 AM   #7
UnXmas
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Hi, I haven't really heard much about asexuality as an orientation, but I certainly have no sex drive (whether due to being ill or not I'm not sure) and am quite happy living without sex - I really don't enjoy it at all. Perhaps that actually makes it easier for me because I don't care one bit about the lack of sex drive.

Do you find being asexual makes having Crohn's a different experience? I guess it could make asking some doctors' questions problematic, though personally I've always found my doctors are pleased when I tell them I'm no longer sexually active - it stops them having to worry about the endless pregnancy tests they have to subject female patients to!
11-07-2013, 12:18 PM   #8
Ki3
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Hi,
Its really interesting reading these and I'm glad that you know about asexual's but I just wanted to make it clear that you guys know I'm too young to have sex anyway, right?

Not trying to be rude just didn't want to get deep in a conversation with nobody knowing of my age. Sorry if that made it awkward or anything but just wanted to make sure
11-07-2013, 12:34 PM   #9
mccindy
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Ki, how old are you? And how long have you known you were asexual? I'm curious because if you are too young to have sex, you may not have developed a sexual orientation yet. My son thought he bisexual for a while until he was through puberty, and then realized that he was completely gay after he tried to "straighten himself out" by being with a couple of girls.
I don't want to offend anyone by asking these questions, I'm just not that familiar with asexuality.
11-07-2013, 12:43 PM   #10
nogutsnoglory
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Ki3 I'm not sure how old you are but I knew I was gay long before I even had any boyfriends and before I accepted my identity. I felt different from other boys as early as 5 but knew I was gay at 12 and didn't come out till college because I had a tough time accepting myself. My point is you don't have to feel pressured to do anything with anyone, you can know your sexual orientation by your interest or lack of one. A lot of people don't understand a sexuality and they think you are scared or it's a phase. Just do what feels right for you and makes you happy!

Unxmas have you been pretty apathetic about sex before you were sick? If so you may be asexual. Asexuality like all things runs on a continuum with some totally having zero interest to others have limited interest. Either way asexuals don't have the same drive that most folks do, but most still seek loving partnerships. Some don't care if their partner is male or female because it's about their love and not sex while others have a preference for gender.

Many of us aren't interested in sex when ill but that's different than an asexual orientation because they are never particularly interested.
11-07-2013, 01:54 PM   #11
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I thought I was asexual, but that was while being totally preoccupied by my career and a rat race. This is how I got ill.

I've done some reading, some thinking, and now I'm turning my life around. I've started to notice that I'm actually missing the warmth of human touch which, by the way, is supposed to have healing properties (not the actual intercourse but just the fact of being physically close to someone you like).

So make sure you get a lot of hugs and kisses from your friends and family!
11-07-2013, 07:45 PM   #12
Ki3
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I'm only 13, but I have known for a long time I am asexual despite my age. While all my friends go through the "boys boys boys" stage I'm just like, "Na I'm ok thanks" I don't have any romantic drive either, I guess I'm just not into anyone.
11-08-2013, 06:56 AM   #13
UnXmas
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Unxmas have you been pretty apathetic about sex before you were sick? If so you may be asexual. Asexuality like all things runs on a continuum with some totally having zero interest to others have limited interest. Either way asexuals don't have the same drive that most folks do, but most still seek loving partnerships. Some don't care if their partner is male or female because it's about their love and not sex while others have a preference for gender.

Many of us aren't interested in sex when ill but that's different than an asexual orientation because they are never particularly interested.
I got ill when I was thirteen, so I don't know.
11-08-2013, 08:51 AM   #14
mccindy
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Ki3, I can understand that you know yourself pretty well and just don't have the feelings that others your age do. That being said, make sure you don't just seal up the package (yourself) and call it finished. People continue to grow and change throughout their lives, and 13 is pretty young. It is quite possible that as you get older and your body and brain mature, things might change for you both physically and emotionally. Try to keep an open mind about who you are and who you might become in the future. Life experiences change each of us constantly. Someday you might find yourself attracted to someone, either physically or emotionally, and you don't want to close yourself off to what could a pretty rewarding relationship experience, even if it isn't a physical one.
11-08-2013, 09:27 AM   #15
Ki3
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Yeah I get most people would think I'm too young to properly know as puberty changes things. I think its likely in future I will get an attraction towards someone. I don't really ever talk about my sexuality and for some reason lots of older girls at school think I'm a lesbian? I don't get why, I think its purely because I have short hair and a spike backpack. Sounds crazy but I think it is why. I can't even just say "I'm not a lesbian" because I have to be like "I'm not straight either" and well not many people know what asexual means.
11-08-2013, 12:35 PM   #16
mccindy
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People do tend to make assumptions based solely on appearance, don't they? and it's definitely much worse in the school environment Even in the real world people often jump to conclusions. If you are asexual, at least so far, you would base your appearance on what you like, rather than any gender identity and others would be confused, trying to figure you out. Honestly, it will be nice if our society ever gets to the point where we just don't worry about who other people are attracted to, or if they have sex and with who. Then maybe we will all be a little more comfortable in our own skin and just be who we feel like being, without pressure to conform.
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