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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Having a hard time


01-23-2017, 10:50 AM   #1
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Having a hard time

I know I am pretty fortunate, I have an incredible fiancé who supports me completely. I haven't needed surgery. I've been mostly alright, but I feel like I'm never going to be someone in life.

When I got diagnosed I was 19 in college, I didn't handle the diagnosis well and flunked out. I went to a trade school and got an assoicates degree in medical assisting, but learned very quickly that the job causes to much stress after a flare. I got a job at the dollar tree part time until I decided what I want to do, but I liked it so I stayed.

Now I'm a part time assistant manager, but the responsibility and stress have taken over, and I am sick now yet again and holding a position where I have to show up, I really can't call in. My fiancé and I have talked about it and the stress from the job is just to much for me, but if I quit I am 100% financially dependent on him. I know I should be thankful I have him and he is so willing to support me, and I am, but I don't know what to do from here. I don't want to live off of him for the rest of my life, but if I can't handle the stress from the dollar tree, where in the world am I going to go?

I'm sorry if I sound whiny and spoiled. I was raised being told I should be independent, and now that just doesn't seem possible, it's a bitter pill I'm having a horrible time swallowing.
01-23-2017, 01:09 PM   #2
ronroush7
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I am sorry for what you are going through. It is great that you have someone like your fiance that supports you.
01-23-2017, 03:58 PM   #3
Cat-a-Tonic
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Do you do any sort of art or crafts? A girl who used to be active on the forum couldn't deal with the stress of a full-time job either, so she quit her job, and now she crochets blankets and sells them on Etsy. I don't think it's enough to pay her bills, she's also at least somewhat financially dependent on her husband, but it's enough for her to feel like she's doing something worthwhile and to contribute financially to the household, and it's pretty low-stress as she can "work" from her bed or couch at home and she sets her own hours, etc. Maybe something along those lines would work for you?
01-23-2017, 04:00 PM   #4
ronroush7
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I agree

01-24-2017, 02:06 PM   #5
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Do you do any sort of art or crafts? A girl who used to be active on the forum couldn't deal with the stress of a full-time job either, so she quit her job, and now she crochets blankets and sells them on Etsy. I don't think it's enough to pay her bills, she's also at least somewhat financially dependent on her husband, but it's enough for her to feel like she's doing something worthwhile and to contribute financially to the household, and it's pretty low-stress as she can "work" from her bed or couch at home and she sets her own hours, etc. Maybe something along those lines would work for you?

That is a great idea! Maybe I'll learn how to knit or something! I think I'm also going to volunteer to walk the dogs at the local shelter, I know if I don't have somewhere to go I won't leave the house or put pants on for an unhealthy amount of time, and at least then I'll stay somewhat active. He brought up selling stuff online like lularoe or something, but I'm no social enough to have enough friends who would buy stuff, but selling on eBay would work great.
01-24-2017, 03:12 PM   #6
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It's great that you have someone supportive so that you do have the option of not working if you need to, but it's totally understandable to still have the desire for independence. However I do feel it's important to allow yourself a break if you need one, and not put too too much pressure on yourself. You are doing the best that you can under your circumstances and that is all you can do! You have to take care of yourself.

Just because your job at Dollar Tree isn't working for you anymore doesn't mean you won't ever be able to find anything that will. I have found that changing jobs from a food service shift leader position where I had lots of stress and physical activity, to a low pressure part time office position (administrative assistant/receptionist) has been so much easier on my body and my mental health as well. Sometimes just a change of environment can do wonders.
01-24-2017, 07:35 PM   #7
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I too was a Medical Assistant and the stress was really high, I worked for 15-20 yrs after diagnosis but the last two yrs were just more then my body could deal with I've been in a flare for almost 2 1/2 yrs trying for disability that was suggested by my MD.Good luck but don't give up you may feel like it I do , but never give up.
01-24-2017, 07:44 PM   #8
ronroush7
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Amen

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