Hi Guys and Girls,
Firstly i'm here to maybe gain some insight into how to best proceed with my girlfriend. We've only been together for a couple of months now, and she's been open about having Crohn's from day one and i've just accepted it into part of being with her. She's suffered terribly for years, and is now on a prescription liquid diet as her body cannot handle solid foods anymore.
She's been constantly worried that her health will cause problems and ultimately be the end of us in the future, to which all I can do is reassure her that I love her.
Last Friday this has been put to the test, as she had a small incident of night time incontinence whilst I was staying over. For her I can't imagine a more embarrassing or vulnerable situation to be in, especially with a new partner. She ended up asking me to leave at 3:30am which I did, although this felt horrible in doing so. I've spoken to her since and told her that it makes no difference to my feeling towards her, I had already accepted that if i'm going to love and be with her then this is all going to be part of the journey.
Since then she's continued to shut down and push me away as her last partner couldn't cope with her illness and she's expecting me to do the same. She doesn't want me to view her as a patient, where in fact I still just view her as the intelligent, beautiful girl I first met, if not more so.
Having no first hand experience of an illness of this sort, and the stresses and anxieties it can bring upon someone I don't really know how best to carry on. I don't want to go anywhere, i'm too invested in her to walk away when something like this comes along. All it feels that I can do is just let her know i'm still here and that when she's ready i'll be there for her.
If anyone has any experience then I welcome any advice offered,
Many thanks,
Nick
Firstly i'm here to maybe gain some insight into how to best proceed with my girlfriend. We've only been together for a couple of months now, and she's been open about having Crohn's from day one and i've just accepted it into part of being with her. She's suffered terribly for years, and is now on a prescription liquid diet as her body cannot handle solid foods anymore.
She's been constantly worried that her health will cause problems and ultimately be the end of us in the future, to which all I can do is reassure her that I love her.
Last Friday this has been put to the test, as she had a small incident of night time incontinence whilst I was staying over. For her I can't imagine a more embarrassing or vulnerable situation to be in, especially with a new partner. She ended up asking me to leave at 3:30am which I did, although this felt horrible in doing so. I've spoken to her since and told her that it makes no difference to my feeling towards her, I had already accepted that if i'm going to love and be with her then this is all going to be part of the journey.
Since then she's continued to shut down and push me away as her last partner couldn't cope with her illness and she's expecting me to do the same. She doesn't want me to view her as a patient, where in fact I still just view her as the intelligent, beautiful girl I first met, if not more so.
Having no first hand experience of an illness of this sort, and the stresses and anxieties it can bring upon someone I don't really know how best to carry on. I don't want to go anywhere, i'm too invested in her to walk away when something like this comes along. All it feels that I can do is just let her know i'm still here and that when she's ready i'll be there for her.
If anyone has any experience then I welcome any advice offered,
Many thanks,
Nick