-
Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.
Tired of Being sick :(
- Thread starter Kendra
- Start date
i was telling hubby how informative this forum is. Some of the husbands are so supportive. mine is to a point....I also told him that a lot of other women like me tell them its not their fault that we dnt want to be intimate sometimes, & that they feel like a burden. I got into an argument with him later on that night & he told me to he was tired of being with someone that's always sick. We will have been married 6 yrs in June, but I think he has had enough, told me he deserves to be with someone that can go out & do stuff. Just makes me so sad....and mad! Thanks for all the support. This is all my tummy needed was MORE stress, 
Hey Kendra,
Sorry your going through such and terrible time. I go through a rollercoaster of emotions at times. I get so sick of taking a handful of pills every day, needles weekly and "Ya just need a break from it all sometimes" but we don't get that.. Babe I'm hearing you.. I hope the sun breaks through those dark clouds for you soon.:rosette2:
Sorry your going through such and terrible time. I go through a rollercoaster of emotions at times. I get so sick of taking a handful of pills every day, needles weekly and "Ya just need a break from it all sometimes" but we don't get that.. Babe I'm hearing you.. I hope the sun breaks through those dark clouds for you soon.:rosette2:
I hope that you have some one-on-one support with other family or friends.
I went through that a bit with my hubby. Although he has turned "his leaf" in the last month. I didn't know I had Crohn's until after 4 years of marriage. It is frustrating for him too because it is such huge change.
Make sure you find some support somewhere!!! If this forum helps, thats great. This forum was one of my BIGGEST helps.I also did a lot of reading and research about the disease. It helped me to understand things so that I could cope and be as educated about it as I could. Go to your doctor and talk with them too. They are there to help, and if they don't, GET ANOTHER ONE. It's okay to seek counselling too. I did. It really helped.
And it seemed for me, the more that I researched on my own how to do things, how to understand the "physical feelings" in my body, how to cope better with foods, etc, the more I could get out and continue with regular life. I guess what I am saying is take control of your Crohn's, don't let it control you. Although there will be days where it does.... that's just gonna happen. I grew confident on what I could and couldn't do. As you grow confident and more adjusted with the disease, you'll grow more confident on the outside. Let's face it, this illness just drags a person down, it does.... but hey, we're all fighters here, otherwise you wouldn't be searching for some help....you want things to get better.
And it will get better Kendra. Hang in there. If you are finding the walls are closing in and you're feeling without any support, go to your doctor and hopefully to some counselling. There are counsellors out there that are specialized in helping people cope with disease. And it would be REALLY good if your hubby could go with you. Start with you going, then ask if he will come. That worked for me cuz my hubby is the type where counselling is a hit to his pride, blah, blah.
As for hubby, try to understand that this is a huge change for him too. If you're young (your pic looks like you are) I am assuming he is too. And it's harder sometimes for them to understand and change when they had this big beautiful picture of a perfect relationship/marriage... its a kicker for them too! Have you tried writing things out and then sitting down to talk about things? Ask him how he is feeling? Does he understand Crohn's at all? It took my husband nearly 1.5 yrs (he finally sat down with me last week) to research Crohn's and take the time to understand it. He's getting it now, but it took a long time. And what I realized was, at least what he told me, was that it was hard to understand something that he knows nothing about and hasn't felt himself (ie a cold/flu), he was frustrated because he wanted to fix it (all guys want to fix, fix, fix) but he couldn't. And on top of that, his wife didn't "want" him anymore the way she used to, she was sick and couldn't do anything and it was hurtful to him. He even said he was becoming lonely. But Kendra, it took that long for him to say all that to me. And my hubby is a 40 year old professional problem solver...We had a lot of fights too. And when I look back, there were many times where he was frustrated or I was over the behavior or lack there of between the two of us. And these fights weren't always over Crohn's specifically, but I know that it is an underlying issue.
You've got support here!! We all know a little of what you're going through as Jessasha said....
E-HUG, E-HUG, E-HUG!!!!! :hug:
Lana
:canada_flag:
I went through that a bit with my hubby. Although he has turned "his leaf" in the last month. I didn't know I had Crohn's until after 4 years of marriage. It is frustrating for him too because it is such huge change.
Make sure you find some support somewhere!!! If this forum helps, thats great. This forum was one of my BIGGEST helps.I also did a lot of reading and research about the disease. It helped me to understand things so that I could cope and be as educated about it as I could. Go to your doctor and talk with them too. They are there to help, and if they don't, GET ANOTHER ONE. It's okay to seek counselling too. I did. It really helped.
And it seemed for me, the more that I researched on my own how to do things, how to understand the "physical feelings" in my body, how to cope better with foods, etc, the more I could get out and continue with regular life. I guess what I am saying is take control of your Crohn's, don't let it control you. Although there will be days where it does.... that's just gonna happen. I grew confident on what I could and couldn't do. As you grow confident and more adjusted with the disease, you'll grow more confident on the outside. Let's face it, this illness just drags a person down, it does.... but hey, we're all fighters here, otherwise you wouldn't be searching for some help....you want things to get better.
And it will get better Kendra. Hang in there. If you are finding the walls are closing in and you're feeling without any support, go to your doctor and hopefully to some counselling. There are counsellors out there that are specialized in helping people cope with disease. And it would be REALLY good if your hubby could go with you. Start with you going, then ask if he will come. That worked for me cuz my hubby is the type where counselling is a hit to his pride, blah, blah.
As for hubby, try to understand that this is a huge change for him too. If you're young (your pic looks like you are) I am assuming he is too. And it's harder sometimes for them to understand and change when they had this big beautiful picture of a perfect relationship/marriage... its a kicker for them too! Have you tried writing things out and then sitting down to talk about things? Ask him how he is feeling? Does he understand Crohn's at all? It took my husband nearly 1.5 yrs (he finally sat down with me last week) to research Crohn's and take the time to understand it. He's getting it now, but it took a long time. And what I realized was, at least what he told me, was that it was hard to understand something that he knows nothing about and hasn't felt himself (ie a cold/flu), he was frustrated because he wanted to fix it (all guys want to fix, fix, fix) but he couldn't. And on top of that, his wife didn't "want" him anymore the way she used to, she was sick and couldn't do anything and it was hurtful to him. He even said he was becoming lonely. But Kendra, it took that long for him to say all that to me. And my hubby is a 40 year old professional problem solver...We had a lot of fights too. And when I look back, there were many times where he was frustrated or I was over the behavior or lack there of between the two of us. And these fights weren't always over Crohn's specifically, but I know that it is an underlying issue.
You've got support here!! We all know a little of what you're going through as Jessasha said....
E-HUG, E-HUG, E-HUG!!!!! :hug:
Lana
:canada_flag:
Kendra...I am also new to the forum and feel your frustration...I was diagnosed at 19 and I am 40 now..it is hard to fight the fight alone sometimes and only normal to ask for the support of your husband. It's a trying disease to all around you..I wish you positivity and faith that you can find comfort in hope and your beautiful spirit. Added stress is a bother but try some hypnosis apps from iTunes..they are mostly free...I love the ultimate hypnosis app by Glenn Harrold, you can customize each session by length of time and different topics...its been a life saver for me to end a day and get refreshed mentally for the next day. Women with chrohn's really are strong and rock! Celebrate yourself
LOL, I have the same birthday as your husband (but I'm female) and if you give any credence to Astrology you will believe that we are very loyal people. It can take a while for me to realize why a change is happening, to myself or someone I care about, but once I cognitively understand, then I am more likely to go with the flow. Of course this resistance to change occurred when I had to deal with my own Crohns and I still resent it tremendously; but, the more I educate myself about it and participate in groups such as this the more empowered I feel. We "May 13th" types like to feel in control of our own lives and when we are blindsided we can lose perspective very easily and say and do things that we wouldn't when we are more rational. Take care, and you and hubby will be in my prayers.