Wow, Misty! I like you! You are so real - and right! Frankly, I am tired of people trying to put a good spin on things . . . and while I know that the stoma is what I need, I still don't have to like it, do I?
My situation is a little different than most. My Crohn's never caused me too much pain. When it was bad, it is true I had to go to the b'room often and even missed on many occasions (EMBARASSING). But I didn't feel overwhelmed by it - I accepted it as part of the disease.
I had the colectomy b/c my doctors told me that the fistulas would keep coming and/or get abscessed again and sometime the results would be worse than a brief hospital stint. They told me that, regardless, eventually I would have to have my colon out. So I wasn't really in a desperate moment when I had the surgery - it was planned months ahead. It was the rational thing to do.
The thing is, I don't LOVE my stoma b/c it is a greater hassle to me than the state I was in before. I feel that my day to day quality of life is diminished with it. That is why I cling to the possibility of getting rid of it. However, I realize that for most people the stoma comes as a great relief. So my perspective is a bit different.
Thus, in deciding about the proctectomy, I am forming an equation that accounts for quantitative considerations (what are the odds of cancer, another surgery, etc.) as well as a quality of life tradeoff. That is, are the number of trips with the stoma the same, more, or less than with the resection? Is the leaking/blow outs from the bag better or worse than occasional incontinence? There are more questions, but that is my approach.
Do you have another "angle" to share? I am so open . . . remind me to tell you the time I considered helminth "worm" therapy. Seriously, I did!
BTW You are right: peri-anal and re-connection don't mix well, and my surgeon/doctor had me on "wait" until Sept, but they seriously believed that there was a possibility of resection up until then. And you still have some of your colon left, so you're already in a better state I bet, . . . that's super! I hope the best for you. Please keep me up to date.
Thanks again for "getting me." Nice to meet you. C-
DX: Age 29 (2006)
Meds: azathioprine, rowasa/mesalamine enemas, Cimzia
Current situation: "mini"-fistula, ileostomy, I feel fine, just a bit overwhelmed - what's new?