- Location
- los angeles area
I had a resection surgery 6 months ago. Just had my colonoscopy and there are 4 seperate new areas withnewly formed ulcers. I am happy to find this out, only because I have been experiencing pain and discomfort for some time now following recovery from surgery. All other tests and imaging pointed to no inflammation. The pain management docs said they didnt question whether I was in pain, but they were always quick to point out there were no markers to indicate active disease. However when i spoke with my g.i. doc, i asked her if just because there are no signs of inflammation, does that mean that the crohn's is not still actively putting stress on my body? To which she told me, that it is very much possible and more probable that my disease is still very active and she told me just because all my numbers looked good from my labs, she still told me that my disease is very agressive and that i may never feel like i did before all this happened. So, i am just feeling extremely discouraged. I have been on humira since end of december. I am just super depressed. I hate, absolutely hate eating, which sucks, cuz i abdolutely love food. I have had D that is similar to boiling hot acid for the last 6 yrs and I am starting to think that I may have to rethink my line of work. I just cannot take the stress and the fatigue that i am enduring is debilitating, and also contributes to my severe depression. I have gained weight since before my surgery. Before surgery, i was 118lbs, and now i am holding steady at 140lbs, before my initial flare, i was about 150-155lbs. I just dont know what to do. I have no life. And i dont see a future for myself. Just wondering if anyone else has felt like this, which i am assuming is a stupid question. I posted something similar to this recently. I know i need to speak with a therapist or counselor of some kind sooner than later. Its just hard to trust anyone, especially to be completely honest with everything and not feel like i am going to regret it in some way or another. And lastly, as bad as it is to do, i cannot atop stressing out, about money, job, future, the fact that pain meds help me feel more comfortable and how docs keep mlsaying how they are not good for crohn's but for me they are the one thing that helps, i stress on so many things. Anyway, i dont know what im asking, i think i just need to vent or something. I dunno, thx for reading if u did