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Crohn's Disease Forum » General IBD Discussion » Embarrassing then, Funny now! (Your own funny Crohn's stories!)


 
04-24-2006, 01:50 PM   #1
jyarmo
 
Embarrassing then, Funny now! (Your own funny Crohn's stories!)

What are some incidents or stories that you have pertaining to your crohn's that you can laugh at now (or even laughed at then!)

I'm having trouble thinking of one right now (I know there are a million) but I wanted to post the thread while the idea was still in my mind!

Share away!
04-24-2006, 01:59 PM   #2
cookey
Mama Crohnie
 
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Join Date: Apr 2006
I'll let you go first JY...lol. I have many when it came to dealing with my Ostomy, especially after surgery, when I was all new to becoming a baglady. Not so pretty...I'll leave it at that.
04-25-2006, 04:53 PM   #3
Kate
 
hmmm i have one embarrising story that i can think of.... I was 18 i think and was out with my mum in her car and went to fart however i didnt fart mmm yeah lol then we had trouble finding a loo to let me clean up abit not that you can do much lol
04-25-2006, 06:55 PM   #4
ReeRee
 
The first one that pops into my head happened to me about 14/15 years ago. I was having problems and was in and out of the hospital all the time. I was having to go to a state run charity hospital and to be admitted, you had to go thru the ER. Well, I got really sick in the middle of the night and had to go to the ER, so I got up and thru on some clothes. I was in too much pain to worry much about fashion or anything like that.

Two hours or so later, I'm in the ER and laying in one of those exam bays on my side wearing a paper gown, my panties and with the paper sheet over me waiting for the doc. Well, in walks this intern (it was a learning hospital and I had a new intern every blasted time I went in), anyway, in he walks with his clipboard trying to act all professional. Like I said, I was laying on my side. He introduces himself and sits down on the stool behind me and lifts up the sheet to have a look at my backside.

Suddenly he puts the sheet back down and he and the nurse rush out of the room and shut the door. I thought 'gee there must be something really serious going on this time' and was starting to get worried when I heard them both out in the hall giggling and laughing and snorting and trying to gain some composure. After a minute they walk back in and he lifts the sheet again and he just cracks up again!

I was getting a little offended and finally the intern starts to appologize to me over and over for not being more professional. The nurse is biting her lip to keep from giggling.

It was then that I realized that I had on panties with Garfield on the back. Not just Garfield either. Garfield was holding up a huge sign that read:

"WIDE LOAD"

I about died! It's funny now, but man was it embarrassing then.... After that, I make a point to put on "grown up" underpants before I go to the doctor or hospital!!
04-25-2006, 06:57 PM   #5
ReeRee
 
I was 18 i think and was out with my mum in her car and went to fart however i didnt fart mmm yeah lol then we had trouble finding a loo to let me clean up abit not that you can do much lol
Kate, my daughter calls that a "shart"...lol! And that is the number 1 reason why I carry a spare pair of underwear in my purse at all times!
04-25-2006, 07:33 PM   #6
jyarmo
 
Oh! I remembered a story...I can finally share!

There was a time before my surgery, when I was on a liquid diet, that made stomach made really loud "gurgaling" noises. I mean LOUD.

I was in one class (Organizational Behavior...essentially a class about Management) and the teacher was yelling at the class. The room was very tense, you could feel it in the air. The class must have done something really bad because everything was quiet. That is-- until my stomach decided to remind everyone that it was there. A huuuuge rumbling sounded from my stomach stoping my teacher mid-scream (yes, it was so loud it could be heard over her yelling). She then got even more upset and screamed "Who's talking now? WHO DID THAT?" I said "Sorry, that was my stomach" and the class (teacher included and me too ofcourse) laughed and laughed. Everyone knew about my "stomach issues" because it had happend before. Ofcourse, everyone was happy too... my teacher stopped yelling (although still obviously upset!). You know saved by the bell? Well this was saved by the stomach!
04-25-2006, 10:01 PM   #7
jlbastian
 
I had a cute tech in the room for my first colonoscopy and when I woke up, I was still all groggy and doped up and I said "So, is the inside of my ass just as fabulous as the outside?"

But it turned out alright, we dated for awhile, and we are still good friends
04-25-2006, 10:32 PM   #8
Kate
 
ReeRee said:

It was then that I realized that I had on panties with Garfield on the back. Not just Garfield either. Garfield was holding up a huge sign that read:

"WIDE LOAD"
HEHE ree ree when i went for my colonoscopy i made sure i wore my tee shirt that says "kiss my ass" on it it was a hit with all the nurses unfortunatly the dr didnt have a sense or humor but hehe i didnt care if you cant laugh at your condition who can
04-25-2006, 10:42 PM   #9
mikeyarmo
Co-Founder
 
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Loving the colonoscopy stories .

Not a funny one, or an embarrasing one, but I remember waking up during mine. I saw the tv that showed, well I think you know what and watched it for a bit. Then I heard/saw the doctor and he said "okay lets go further"... thats when some fun began. I wanted to say "I am awake" but was too groggy too. I then went back to sleep.

Yeah sorry.... not funny or embarrassing at all. Just felt like sharing that one with you all .
04-26-2006, 12:48 PM   #10
Kossy
 
ReeRee said:
Kate, my daughter calls that a "shart"...lol! And that is the number 1 reason why I carry a spare pair of underwear in my purse at all times!
Oh my I have had my afternoon messed up by a "shart." I always hated those. Oh and I think my girlfriend loves Hello Kitty too. She wants to do our bathroom in Hello Kitty in our new house. I'm not to kean on the idea but as I am quickly finding out is that I am just around to pay the bills and mow the lawn and I have no say in ANYTHING! Or what my friends say is that I am "whipped"

Ok so here's my story. I thought about this long and hard. Most of my funny stories are because of my ostomy but this one is strickly Crohn's.

Ok a little bit of a back history. I am Catholic and one of the things in 8th grade we had to do before our conformation was we had to alter for a few masses.

So I am doing my alterboy duties and it was right before holy communion were the priest was blessing the wine and bread. I remember the priest resiting "Take this all of you and eat from it" and I got this rummble in my belly. I blurted out "oh shit" which I was told echoed pertty loud through the church and I just made a mad dash down the center aisle and I tripped over my gown thingy I we had to wear about three pews before I reached the back of the church were the bathrooms were located. So that was my story about Crohn's and that is also when I got reserved box seats in hell. Amen.
04-26-2006, 01:27 PM   #11
ReeRee
 
Oh and I think my girlfriend loves Hello Kitty too. She wants to do our bathroom in Hello Kitty in our new house.
Me too! We'll have to trade decorating secrets and tips....heehee. Tell her Target has all sorts of Hello Kitty things for the bathroom. Are you ready to kill me yet? Mwah!

I am quickly finding out is that I am just around to pay the bills and mow the lawn
You forgot Killing bugs.

Your story has me laughing my head off!
04-26-2006, 01:34 PM   #12
Kossy
 
Jen, my girlfriend mentioned the bathroom set at Target to me yesterday. So I must know ban her from Target and block their website on her computer. Ha ha...

We have a couple of cats... they take care of the bugs after they've played with them for a while.

Thank you for enjoying me story.
04-26-2006, 01:41 PM   #13
ReeRee
 
I can see right now I'm going to have to smuggle Jen some Hello Kitty stuff..lol.
04-26-2006, 05:39 PM   #14
Jenni
 
haha wen i was in class one day and i was really weak i was really dehydrated. well i told my teacher i needed to get a water bottle and my friend went with me to make sure i didnt faint. well wen i walked outside of the room i backed straight into a locker. the whole class heard and laughed. and i didnt even remember doing it and later wen i was hydrated again i asked everyone um why does my back hurt so bad? everyone still reminds me of it haha
04-26-2006, 05:56 PM   #15
Donna
 
Fellow "sharter" here!!

My story cannot compare to everyones! Holy cow but did I ever come to the right place!!!

My story is this. I was still pregnant and really sick, unknowingly that it was Crohn's. I took my daughter with me to the movies, it was her first time. So, after grabbing the big popcorn and soda, we go in and watch the movie. Well, that went well and we decided to wait until everyone else left the theater to leave. All of the sudden, my belly started gurgling so loud that the woman in front of me looked back. I thought, "oh no, here it comes!". So, while people were still letting out, Jordan and I decided to make a dash for the potty. I get in there, and of course it has to be FULL! Well, those gurgles decided to come out all at once, in what we call, the explosion in the toilet! And smell...oh myyyy...dead animals don't compare! So after a few minutes, a few chuckles from the lady in the next stall, everyone left in like 3 seconds flat! There was not one soul in that bathroom once all the noises and smells started coming.

Meanwhile, once I flushed for the third time, I hear my daughter standing out in front of the stall. She is clapping away. When I asked her why she was clapping, she said she could count on me to clear a bathroom, since she doesn't like going when there are other's in there anyway! She was so proud!

I have more to share, and will. I have tons of Walmart stories....and driving home from eating chinese with the family (I think I made them all sick on that ride home!) This is such a colorful disease!

Donna
04-26-2006, 07:23 PM   #16
mikeyarmo
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Still loving these stories soooo much!

Cannot wait to hear some of the Wal-Mart stories.... I guess they all lead to the greeter running whenever you now go into the store now though.
04-26-2006, 10:03 PM   #17
Donna
 
Wal-Mart story #1
Well...after I was diagnosed, we thought we had things under control. WRONG!

I decided to go to Walmart with my daughter (whom you will all come to know as my lil' cheerleader). Things were going great until of course we come to check-out. I am standing there, and all of the sudden, those all-telling gurgles come around again. I am standing there, trying so hard to ignore what it sounds like, as well as what it means. My daughter however, couldn't ignore anything. She asks in a whisper, "mommy, do we need to go to the potty?". Smiling, I replied nope.

Still standing in line, belly gurgling louder, I start to "fidget" around. The pain is increasing, and my daughter, who never misses a thing, asks, "you sure?". I smiled again, and replied nope.

Finally, I bent over to retrieve the cat food from under the cart, and well, you can only guess what sound comes from my butt! My daughter then starts to put everything back in the cart, and very seriously says to the cashier..." You will have to be patient, my mommy has "bones" disease and needs to leave right now. I would tell you that she has to poop, but she told me to be "discreet", whatever that means"...and she grabs my hand and tried to lead me to the potty, which at that point, I had to go.

I may have been red in the face, but she saved my underwear a great deal of a mess!

(And thankfully, everyone knows me at Wal-Mart, cuz I used to work there).
04-26-2006, 10:54 PM   #18
Kossy
 
ReeRee said:
I can see right now I'm going to have to smuggle Jen some Hello Kitty stuff..lol.
Hey ReeRee I thought you might like this picture. My Girlfriend Jen is a huge cloth diaper fan. She's been buying them for a while now to stock up for when we have kids. She used MY childhood ONLY teddy bear as a hello kitty diaper model to show and e-mail her friends. She's got about six different hello kitty ones. I hope we have a girl for the kids own sake....
04-26-2006, 11:10 PM   #19
cagfire
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Trafalgar South, Victoria, Australia
Ah....all these posts about dashing to the loo...what memories...lol

We use to run a boat hire business in a national park, and being a park the facilities were pretty basic (long drop dunny) and the average person could walk there in about a minute.

Well.....I used to have to drive the car, it was horrible! I'd get this rumbling in the tummy and oh my god have to go RIGHT NOW, NOT LATER, BUT RIGHT NOW. It was always a mad dash for the loo and if one was occupied I didn't care whether it was the mens, the shims or the hers I used! I even did the 'does a bear shit in the woods' thing a few times cause I couldn't even get the strength to drive. Boy these posts bring back memories I could do with forgetting...lol.

Before I got sick and had my first resection we used to do a lot of bushwalking. After the resection we went on a walk to see a waterfall near our boat business. It was a lovely 700metre stroll down and a bloody mad tear ass run up to get to the loo which was the same one I had to drive to in the car.

We gave that business away...lol.

It took a long time to get put onto Questran and I haven't looked back.

Lisa

ps...try telling these humourous little ditties over the dinner table...lol
04-26-2006, 11:17 PM   #20
ReeRee
 
I LOVE THE HELLO KITTY DIAPERS!!!! Now I really can't wait to have grandkids, and they better be girls...heehee. I can see right now, my little grandson, toddling around the TBall field in pink Hello Kitty diapers. LMAO! I'm gonna post a pic or two for your g/f so be on the lookout. Does she know about the Hello Kitty wedding dresses?

" You will have to be patient, my mommy has "bones" disease and needs to leave right now. I would tell you that she has to poop, but she told me to be "discreet", whatever that means"
OMG! I'm am rolling here! That is so cute! Yep, I have my fair share of WalMart stories too.

Patience Mikey, I'll get around to it...lol.
04-27-2006, 01:53 PM   #21
Kossy
 
Donna said:
Wal-Mart story #1
Well...after I was diagnosed, we thought we had things under control. WRONG!

I decided to go to Walmart with my daughter (whom you will all come to know as my lil' cheerleader). Things were going great until of course we come to check-out. I am standing there, and all of the sudden, those all-telling gurgles come around again. I am standing there, trying so hard to ignore what it sounds like, as well as what it means. My daughter however, couldn't ignore anything. She asks in a whisper, "mommy, do we need to go to the potty?". Smiling, I replied nope.

Still standing in line, belly gurgling louder, I start to "fidget" around. The pain is increasing, and my daughter, who never misses a thing, asks, "you sure?". I smiled again, and replied nope.

Finally, I bent over to retrieve the cat food from under the cart, and well, you can only guess what sound comes from my butt! My daughter then starts to put everything back in the cart, and very seriously says to the cashier..." You will have to be patient, my mommy has "bones" disease and needs to leave right now. I would tell you that she has to poop, but she told me to be "discreet", whatever that means"...and she grabs my hand and tried to lead me to the potty, which at that point, I had to go.

I may have been red in the face, but she saved my underwear a great deal of a mess!

(And thankfully, everyone knows me at Wal-Mart, cuz I used to work there).
Thanks a great funny story. I don't know to many Childern that are "discreet." I that are just so very proud of themselves for knowing information and passing that info along so they'd pretend to be more adult like.
04-27-2006, 05:58 PM   #22
ScottMan
 
mikeyarmo said:
Not a funny one, or an embarrasing one, but I remember waking up during mine. I saw the tv that showed, well I think you know what and watched it for a bit. Then I heard/saw the doctor and he said "okay lets go further"... thats when some fun began. I wanted to say "I am awake" but was too groggy too. I then went back to sleep.
Hehe. I woke up in the middle of both of my colonoscopies. I'm usually just so thrilled and fascinated by the whole process, I say things like "Wow, is that me? Hey what's that, a polyp? Can I keep it after you remove it?"

Funny thing happened to me during a CT scan. The tech was trying to insert the needle for the iodine IV. I recommended she use my left arm, because it has big bulging Schwartzenegger veins. Well, she was impressed with the veins, but even more impressed (or just frustrated) that they refused to be punctured. She poked and she poked and she poked, and every time, the vein would nudge or move to the side. I was giggling like an idiot through the whole thing, and ended up with three holes in my left arm that refused to bleed. Eventually we gave up and dug up a vein in my right arm.
04-27-2006, 06:59 PM   #23
jyarmo
 
I hate when the nurses say stuff like "Wow you have thick skin". What are you suppose to do? Thank them? Agree with them?
04-27-2006, 10:34 PM   #24
Donna
 
jyarmo said:
I hate when the nurses say stuff like "Wow you have thick skin". What are you suppose to do? Thank them? Agree with them?
Because my remicade is eating up my veins...they tend to take a few times when trying to insert the IV. This last time was 4 times with a stick that didn't work. And every time they do it, 2 years now, they say the same thing..."boy you have tough skin", or "boy, your veins don't want to cooperate". This time, when she said about the veins not wanting to work with her, I just said, "well, they [I]are[I] getting tired of you poking at them." She just giggled and didn't say it again after.

Also, I was just in getting yet another blood test. While in the hospital this last time, I jokingly called the nurse who kept taking my blood a vampire. I made the mistake of saying that within earshot of my daughter. So, while I was getting ready to get the needle this time around, my ever so sweet daughter asked the nurse very seriously, "Why do you use the needle when you can just use your teeth?" Turning to me with this look like "what??!!", the nurse just smiled and said that it was the way they needed to take the blood. Of course, Jordan replied that she never knew vampires could use something other than their teeth to take the blood of their victoms.

I about died. I also swore that Jordan is to take no more trips to the hospital with me!

Donna
(Told ya I had a ton of stories!)
(You also have to understand, that at 8 years old, my daughter is far more intelligent than I am! She is like a walking encyclopedia!)
04-27-2006, 10:44 PM   #25
Donna
 
Oh yeah, and here's another.

One time, I went to my Mom's for a visit (she lives 2 hours away). While there we decided to go out to eat. It was me, my Mom, and both of my kids. We were seated, coincidentally enough by the potty, and all went great! We ate our dinner and then my Mom took my daughter out into the mall for "quality time" and my son and I were off to our car to go to see my sister.

The car was parked WAY out in left field...so to speak. I knew my belly was going to act up as we got half way to the car. When I got to the car, I thought, hmmm. I can make it to the nearest McDonald's. Nope, not a good idea, since I am not from that area and have no idea where that is. Sooo, I sat in the car, pinching my cheeks together thinking. Deciding I couldn't wait any longer, I drove the car up the front of the lot just as a couple was pulling out of the "handicapped" space. I am one to moan when people who aren't handicapped park in a spot marked for disabled people, but here I am pulling into the spot as fast as I could.

I untangled my son from his safety seat, and made a mad dash to the restaraunt that we just exited from. I looked at the waitress and told her we just ate there, but my son only now decided he needed to use the restroom. (Yeah, I do blame them from time to time if I think it will get me to use the bathroom quicker...everyone always feels sorry for the tyke just learning to go potty!). So they said go ahead, no problem. So, off I pretty much run to the potty...leaving kinda noticable "squeakers" that I know people heard! I made it to the potty, but had to walk right past all those people I just farted near to go back out to the car!!!! Talk about embarrassing!!! Thankfully, I didn't mess my pants, nor did I get a ticket for parking in a handicapped zone!!

Donna
04-28-2006, 11:41 AM   #26
ncgirl
 
[QUOTE=Kossy]Oh my I have had my afternoon messed up by a "shart." I always hated those. Oh and I think my girlfriend loves Hello Kitty too. She wants to do our bathroom in Hello Kitty in our new house. I'm not to kean on the idea but as I am quickly finding out is that I am just around to pay the bills and mow the lawn and I have no say in ANYTHING! Or what my friends say is that I am "whipped"


Kossy don't you know that when you get married everything that is yours is hers and everything that is hers is hers?
04-28-2006, 02:17 PM   #27
Kossy
 
Good Story Donna. I myself feel the same way about non-handicap people using the handicap spot. I've had to use them a couple times for that same reason. I mean it was for a "medical emergancy" I know to others that going to the bathroom isn't a medical emergancy but they probably haven't even ever heard of Crohn's. I am sure if anyone does it and gets a ticket I would go to their GI doctor and get a note and contest the ticket pleading a medical emergany. If the Judge has a heart he'd let you off. But then again is all the trouble of seeing your doctor getting a court date worth a 100 buck ticket?


Ncgirl... I am quickly learning that.
04-30-2006, 12:44 PM   #28
Jenni
 
ok this one isnt very embarassing but wen i was in the hospital the first night, they put me on morphene and i recited the whole movie "The Waterboy" to my parents and family! they still wont let me live that down.

also back around thanxgiving wen i was still on a very high dose of prednizone, i was hallucinating alot. well my aunt told someone that the turkey "was talking" to my uncle and of course im not stupid and i kno thats a figure of speech but at the time i was half out of my mind! haha and i start like freaking out and im like screaming "the turkey is talking to him!!!" and all this. yeah i was like the laughin stock of the family needless to say..
04-30-2006, 03:41 PM   #29
Kossy
 
Jenni said:
ok this one isnt very embarassing but wen i was in the hospital the first night, they put me on morphene and i recited the whole movie "The Waterboy" to my parents and family! they still wont let me live that down.
Momma says morphine is the devil!
04-30-2006, 07:41 PM   #30
Jenni
 
Kossy said:
Momma says morphine is the devil!
lol!!!!!
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