I have noticed that several people on this site have been getting and dealing with ostomy surgery lately. I would like this thread to be a place where those of us with ostomys can share our stories, our tips and our questions with each other. I’ll go first!
I have told my surgery story. Now I wanted to write about how I feel about having an ostomy. Growing up with Crohn’s, my biggest fear was always that I would someday end up with a bag. Now, having gone through it, I consider it to be one of the best decisions I have ever made (second only to my choosing my fiancé). I hope that others who have had ostomys performed can relate to what I have gone through, and am still going through. I also hope that those of you who are looking at possible ostomy surgery in the future can get some comfort from my words. There were several people who helped me by sharing their stories before I got my surgery and I can’t tell you how much it helped me. Thank you all for your support and your help in making this life changing decision.
To any stranger on the street, I look like any other 27 year old woman. I am thin, average height, dress stylishly (if I do say so myself), and although I won’t claim to be a great beauty, I’m generally pretty happy with the way that I look. No one would ever suspect that under my clothes I have a bag attached to my stomach that collects my waste. No one would ever know that I have had an Iliostomy unless I told them.
Yes, I have to go to the bathroom and change it several times a day which can be time consuming, but before my ostomy I went to the bathroom that often on a good day, and on a bad one I was in the bathroom even more, sometimes for 20 minutes or longer. Sometimes I couldn’t even leave the house. I was also in crippling pain then.
With my ostomy, I can now eat just about anything without pain. For someone who knows what it is like to have pain from drinking broth, this is simply amazing. Food has become fun again.
During the night before my surgery, I would wake up several times to use the bathroom, or simply from pain. Now I only have to wake up once, if at all, to change my bag. It annoys me to have to do it, but that just show how spoiled I have gotten.
The thing I was most worried about before my surgery was how it was going to affect my relationship with my fiancé. It hasn’t affected how he sees me at all, and if anything he is happier because I am feeling so much better. I know it sounds crazy, but our sex life has only improved! It feels wonderful to not have the horrible feeling that you might have to go to the bathroom during, or to simply be too sick or too tired to even want to think about being intimate.
I can also wear completely normal clothes, including skinny jeans. I don’t wear tight t-shirts or tank tops too often anymore because a little bit of the bags outline can be seen in them, but I am getting braver all of the time, and honestly, even in a tight top, it is hardly noticeable. Right after surgery however, the only thing I could wear was sweats because my tummy was swollen and I was just getting used to the bag. If this happens to you, don’t worry. You will be back in normal clothes again soon.
I still have trouble from time to time. There are still things that I am getting used to. If I could have a normal life without the stoma, believe me I would, and I am not suggesting that ostomy surgery is right for everyone. All I can tell you is that for me, it has been a wonderful decision that I do not regret for one moment. It has allowed me to work, eat, have fun and simply live again nearly pain free. The point is that with this bag, I can appear to be a normal girl because I am aloud to have a more normal life. My day to day life has improved immeasurably.
*I have focused a lot on looks in this post because body image is the one area that could have been most negatively affected by this life change. When I first woke up from surgery, it was very hard for me to see the bag hanging there, and it is still a little hard for me to look at the naked stoma, although the size and shape of it have improved a great deal in the last few months. Other things that I worry about are damaging the bag by going swimming or getting too hot working out. These are challenges, but if I am honest with myself, I remember that before my ostomy, activities like this were next to impossible because my disease was so rampant. I do have down days, and I do have hard times, but I am always so glad that I made this decision because it truly has given me my life back.
Question: How do you get your bags to stick for longer? I use a one piece, and they start to peel off after only one to two days.
Tip: My biggest tip is to go to Ostomyshop.com. I have purchased every female product from them and have been very happy with them. The classic wrap is awesome if you don’t have a lot of money to spend or if your ostomy is new because you can re-use it without washing it for days and days and it stays pretty well hidden under your clothes. I am wearing the classic girls undies right now and I love love love them. The Sexy thong is also nice. My least favorite is the sexy panty, but that is mostly because I find the band to be too tight, so maybe if I went up a size.
I have told my surgery story. Now I wanted to write about how I feel about having an ostomy. Growing up with Crohn’s, my biggest fear was always that I would someday end up with a bag. Now, having gone through it, I consider it to be one of the best decisions I have ever made (second only to my choosing my fiancé). I hope that others who have had ostomys performed can relate to what I have gone through, and am still going through. I also hope that those of you who are looking at possible ostomy surgery in the future can get some comfort from my words. There were several people who helped me by sharing their stories before I got my surgery and I can’t tell you how much it helped me. Thank you all for your support and your help in making this life changing decision.
To any stranger on the street, I look like any other 27 year old woman. I am thin, average height, dress stylishly (if I do say so myself), and although I won’t claim to be a great beauty, I’m generally pretty happy with the way that I look. No one would ever suspect that under my clothes I have a bag attached to my stomach that collects my waste. No one would ever know that I have had an Iliostomy unless I told them.
Yes, I have to go to the bathroom and change it several times a day which can be time consuming, but before my ostomy I went to the bathroom that often on a good day, and on a bad one I was in the bathroom even more, sometimes for 20 minutes or longer. Sometimes I couldn’t even leave the house. I was also in crippling pain then.
With my ostomy, I can now eat just about anything without pain. For someone who knows what it is like to have pain from drinking broth, this is simply amazing. Food has become fun again.
During the night before my surgery, I would wake up several times to use the bathroom, or simply from pain. Now I only have to wake up once, if at all, to change my bag. It annoys me to have to do it, but that just show how spoiled I have gotten.
The thing I was most worried about before my surgery was how it was going to affect my relationship with my fiancé. It hasn’t affected how he sees me at all, and if anything he is happier because I am feeling so much better. I know it sounds crazy, but our sex life has only improved! It feels wonderful to not have the horrible feeling that you might have to go to the bathroom during, or to simply be too sick or too tired to even want to think about being intimate.
I can also wear completely normal clothes, including skinny jeans. I don’t wear tight t-shirts or tank tops too often anymore because a little bit of the bags outline can be seen in them, but I am getting braver all of the time, and honestly, even in a tight top, it is hardly noticeable. Right after surgery however, the only thing I could wear was sweats because my tummy was swollen and I was just getting used to the bag. If this happens to you, don’t worry. You will be back in normal clothes again soon.
I still have trouble from time to time. There are still things that I am getting used to. If I could have a normal life without the stoma, believe me I would, and I am not suggesting that ostomy surgery is right for everyone. All I can tell you is that for me, it has been a wonderful decision that I do not regret for one moment. It has allowed me to work, eat, have fun and simply live again nearly pain free. The point is that with this bag, I can appear to be a normal girl because I am aloud to have a more normal life. My day to day life has improved immeasurably.
*I have focused a lot on looks in this post because body image is the one area that could have been most negatively affected by this life change. When I first woke up from surgery, it was very hard for me to see the bag hanging there, and it is still a little hard for me to look at the naked stoma, although the size and shape of it have improved a great deal in the last few months. Other things that I worry about are damaging the bag by going swimming or getting too hot working out. These are challenges, but if I am honest with myself, I remember that before my ostomy, activities like this were next to impossible because my disease was so rampant. I do have down days, and I do have hard times, but I am always so glad that I made this decision because it truly has given me my life back.
Question: How do you get your bags to stick for longer? I use a one piece, and they start to peel off after only one to two days.
Tip: My biggest tip is to go to Ostomyshop.com. I have purchased every female product from them and have been very happy with them. The classic wrap is awesome if you don’t have a lot of money to spend or if your ostomy is new because you can re-use it without washing it for days and days and it stays pretty well hidden under your clothes. I am wearing the classic girls undies right now and I love love love them. The Sexy thong is also nice. My least favorite is the sexy panty, but that is mostly because I find the band to be too tight, so maybe if I went up a size.
