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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » You Are Not A Burden!!!


 
07-28-2010, 06:28 PM   #1
DustyKat
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You Are Not A Burden!!!

Well I was going to put this in the "If you could offer ONE piece of advice to a Crohn's sufferer" thread but I don't think it fits there (((shrug))).

If you are fortunate enough, and I only say that 'cause I know some of you on here aren't supported by your family , to have loved ones that care about you please know that you are not a burden to us. We do what we do for you because we love you more than life itself.

We understand your struggles and are there with you.

We wish we could take the pain away and when we can't we are there to hold your hand, cuddle and soothe you.

We are there to cry with you and for you.

We are there to clean up after you.

We are there when you have to endure difficult diets.

We are there when you are admitted for long and frightening hospital stays.

We are there to support and advocate for you when you go to see your doctors and have tests.

We are there to remind you to take your tablets.

We are there to listen when this bloody disease is too much to bear.

We are there to fight for you when all hope is gone.

We wish more than anything in the world that you didn't have this disease.

We rejoice with you when you are in remission and times are good.

.............................. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Dusty.
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Last edited by DustyKat; 12-12-2011 at 01:12 PM. Reason: Changed tag
07-28-2010, 06:33 PM   #2
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Well said, Dusty...there is nothing more to add! Thanks for this, it has be reported that we need family and friends, not just for support but for love and laughter. It is healthier for living a better life. Kudo's !!
07-29-2010, 04:29 AM   #3
DustyKat
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Ah, so true Jett. Nuthin' like a bit of luvin' and laughin'.
07-29-2010, 04:34 AM   #4
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I vote this for POTW!!! Good one Dusty!!!
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07-29-2010, 08:31 AM   #5
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Thanks Dusty, just read it out loud to Meg. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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07-29-2010, 08:36 AM   #6
teeny5
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Thank you for this. I have felt like a burden to my husband many times. I even went through a phase where I thought he would leave me because being with me has to be a bummer. (this disease really has worn on my emotional state) I was wrong, he still loves me even though I have poop issues!
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07-29-2010, 09:47 AM   #7
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I vote this for POTW!!! Good one Dusty!!!
*sniff* Ditto ^^^ *sniff*

*Silver reaches for HER tissue box.....*
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07-29-2010, 10:18 AM   #8
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Dusty, that brought tears to my eyes (not necessarily a good thing, since I'm at work). Thank you for writing that. And Teeny, your post could have been written by me. I know my hubby doesn't totally understand what I'm going through, and he gets really frustrated sometimes, but he's also not going anywhere and I appreciate him so much for trying to understand.
07-29-2010, 11:04 AM   #9
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Wow, thank you for this! I know I am a burden to my dad - he doesn't understand anything I go through - that's why I moved away from him bc he gets mad anytime I am in the hospital or sick.

It's so good to have a place like this to go to where we can all support each other!
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07-29-2010, 11:20 AM   #10
Jerman
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Dustykat,

That is one of the most compassionate and wonderfully written things I have ever seen on this forum. Well Put, well done. (you rock!)
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07-29-2010, 11:34 AM   #11
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I wanted to add, for the people who are not fortunate enough to have friends and family members directly in their lives who understand and are supportive, that a lot of the things Dusty wrote in her post apply to what this community can provide for others. So, even though you may not have the support of family, there are so many people on this forum that care about you in a lot of those ways! And we don't think you are a burden either!!

Teeny - I get in moods like that sometimes when I feel bad for "giving" this terrible life to my husband, but he doesn't look at it that way at all and still loves and supports me even when I'm being irrational like that, haha!
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February 2010 - diagnosed with Crohn's disease.
January 2011 - Inflammation downgraded from moderate-severe to mild with no symptoms!
January 2014 - adopted a mostly Paleo diet
May 2015 - still in remission!


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Imuran - 125 mg/day
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07-29-2010, 12:15 PM   #12
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Cool post - Very well said
07-29-2010, 05:07 PM   #13
silver
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I read this to my fiance he just said that he'd support me through anything. Thanks Dusty for posting that...it made me feel less useless and pathetic.

I have to say i've never met a nicer bunch than the people on this forum crohnie or family members it's fast becoming a refuge when i'm scared. Just reading the posts helps.

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07-29-2010, 07:23 PM   #14
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That is a very touching post.. it brought tears to my eyes. Everyone on the this forum are great wonderful people. Thank you so much for all you do
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07-29-2010, 08:14 PM   #15
fateful_one
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U have a huge heart Dusty. i wish everyone could be so understanding and accepting great post, thank u!
07-30-2010, 02:43 PM   #16
Jer's Girl
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This was a great post! Sometimes I feel like a burden, and honestly some people in my family feel like I am too, even though they love me. It is very stressful for them.
The one person who NEVER makes me feel like a burden is the one who has to take care of me the most; my husband. He is always there to take care of me when I am sick and he is never fazed by any poo or ostomy issues. He loves me as much as I love him and I am very lucky to have him.
Even so, from time to time I feel bad for him for having to go through all of this because of me, but it is my issue not his. Honestly, its like he doesnt even see the ostomy he is so un-fazed by it. 
08-03-2010, 07:35 AM   #17
DustyKat
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Thanks for all the replies.

Many of you have mentioned that you do indeed feel a burden to your significant loved one and this is the very reason I wrote this. I do my utmost to understand how it must be from your perspective and I can't help but imagine that you must have feelings of helplessness and dependency. I hope in some small way it is a reassurance to you that we don't see you that way and never will.

I understand that there are people on this forum that don't have this support in their private lives and that is heartbreaking to me but I think this forum may fill that void in many ways. What a godsend that here you can find friendship, support, laughter, information, knowledge and unconditional acceptance. Kudos to you all!!!

Dusty
08-03-2010, 08:03 AM   #18
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Dusty, this is so beautifully written. In fact, I can't wait to show my husband. I think this is what he was trying to get across to me the other day when he re-did his vows. He's letting me know he's there or me, no matter what. Just like all of you are. and the dedication and support are sometimes the only thing that gets me through. And instead of dwelling on the pain, the tests, the hospitals, we are all able to put our sense of humor together because, after all, laughter is the best medicine, right up there with the unconditional love. This forum and the friends I have found here are priceless. I just hope I can help out at least half of what I get. You all are the very, very best.
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Conclusion: Crohn's is in remission, start chemo for cancer end of Sept, or beginning of Oct.

All my meds are pertaining to surgery healing and stress.

08-03-2010, 01:40 PM   #19
Jerman
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Dusty, this is so beautifully written. In fact, I can't wait to show my husband. I think this is what he was trying to get across to me the other day when he re-did his vows. He's letting me know he's there or me, no matter what. Just like all of you are. and the dedication and support are sometimes the only thing that gets me through. And instead of dwelling on the pain, the tests, the hospitals, we are all able to put our sense of humor together because, after all, laughter is the best medicine, right up there with the unconditional love. This forum and the friends I have found here are priceless. I just hope I can help out at least half of what I get. You all are the very, very best.
You are indeed lucky to have "one of the good guys" as your hubby, and for him to be a romantic as well? Good catch Miss B. Conversely, the forum family is lucky to have yet another gentle person around to share wisdom and offer empathy to those of us who are at a spot where they are "licking their wounds". Thanks for all that you have already shared Bev, you are very kind.
08-03-2010, 02:32 PM   #20
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Thanks I needed to read that. I am feeling like a burden lately. Not just a burden but I feel depressed and not able to help others who are asking something from me. I have nothing to give. I need my own bucket filled. Wonder how I can do that inexpensively.
I think I'll catch a concert in the park on Thursday and go visit some friends tonight. I wish there was a 3 -4 hour church service. That always makes me feel better. Peace and hope.
08-03-2010, 04:21 PM   #21
Astra
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ooo bit late with this Dusty
and it's too late to show my husband, cos I've binned him!
burden? no, he was the burden, I was the ill one!!

lovely and compassionate and straight from the heart!
POTW for sure babe!
xxxxxxxxx
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No-one should make you feel inferior without your consent!

08-10-2010, 05:09 AM   #22
Dexky
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Well I was going to put this in the "If you could offer ONE piece of advice to a Crohn's sufferer" thread but I don't think it fits there (((shrug))).

If you are fortunate enough, and I only say that 'cause I know some of you on here aren't supported by your family , to have loved ones that care about you please know that you are not a burden to us. We do what we do for you because we love you more than life itself.

We understand your struggles and are there with you.

We wish we could take the pain away and when we can't we are there to hold your hand, cuddle and soothe you.

We are there to cry with you and for you.

We are there to clean up after you.

We are there when you have to endure difficult diets.

We are there when you are admitted for long and frightening hospital stays.

We are there to support and advocate for you when you go to see your doctors and have tests.

We are there to remind you to take your tablets.

We are there to listen when this bloody disease is too much to bear.

We are there to fight for you when all hope is gone.

We wish more than anything in the world that you didn't have this disease.

We rejoice with you when you are in remission and times are good.

.............................. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Dusty.
Just wanted this to go back to the top of the page!!!
09-03-2010, 10:52 AM   #23
Silvermoon
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A bump... and something to add to it...

For Regular Joe, and Kello82, and Jettalady, and Astra101, and MisB, and Maddie and her family, and Jerman, and ameslouise... and all the rest out there that I can't remember their names right now cause my brain is on overload (lol )... just remember WE are here for you.....

Id like to capture a rainbow
and stick it in a big box
so that,
anytime you wanted to,
you could reach in and pull out
a piece of sunshine.


Id like to build you a mountain
that you could call your very own
a place to find serenety
in those times when you
feel the need to be
closer to yourself.



Id like to be the one
Whos there with you when youre
lonely or troubled
or just need
someone
to hold on to...


Id like to do all this and more
to make your life happy.


But sometimes
it isnt easy to do
the things I would like to do
or give the things I would
like to give.


So... until I learn how to
catch rainbows and build mountains
let me do for you
that which I know best...


...Let me simply be
your friend.

~Jacqueline J. Hancock

Last edited by Silvermoon; 09-03-2010 at 01:42 PM.
09-03-2010, 05:01 PM   #24
boro deb
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Good job I am typing and not speaking as I would have a big lump in my throat.....
Lovely words do you mind if I write them down in a card for my hubby?
Debs
09-03-2010, 06:12 PM   #25
Silvermoon
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If you are talking about the Rainbow poem, go ahead... lol....I didn't write it... I had it given to me by a friend, and have been passing it on to others ever since....

Dusty's post you gotta ask her about

Last edited by Silvermoon; 09-03-2010 at 06:16 PM.
09-03-2010, 08:39 PM   #26
madasins mommy
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BEAUTIFUL. all of you here are so wonderful
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09-04-2010, 05:02 AM   #27
DustyKat
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Nice add Silver.............

Dusty.
09-04-2010, 04:00 PM   #28
Lucy
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Dusty thank you so much!!! I really needed to read that. You so wonderful for this forum.
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This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.
02-19-2011, 03:57 AM   #29
DustyKat
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Have just been having a chat with Matt and he was thanking me for being here for him, oh boy that made the tears well up! Anyway there are quite a few newbies here so I thought I would rehash this thread so that you know you are not a burden to those in your lives that truly love and appreciate you.

Dusty.
02-19-2011, 10:08 PM   #30
MADiMarc
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Dusty,
I did not see this the first time, thank you so much for refreshing the post! I did say something not long ago to my wonderful husband about being a burden. He looked at me and said that I never complained about cooking him a special meal when he was on his "i have got to loose weight" diets or his "oh boy I need to get into shape" diets and I never made him feel as if his OCD was a problem, so why was I wigging out now about poop?
You are a wonderful mom and I have the world's best husband.
Michele
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