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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » You Are Not A Burden!!!


 
03-20-2015, 09:57 PM   #121
HangryGinger
 
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I'm fortunate enough to have some supportive family members and a great bf. But at the end of the day, they really don't understand. I think the only way that they could would be if they had Crohn's as well...and I wouldn't wish that on any of them.

When I was first diagnosed back in 1998, my mom really wanted to find local support groups for me to talk to others that have gone through it before. But I was too young, scared and proud to admit I needed help understanding how much my life would be changing.

I've only been looking around this forum for a few days now, but I've been reading a lot of posts and it's been very touching and emotional ...I've lost count of the number of times I've been reading something and I think to myself...no shit me too!
03-21-2015, 07:11 AM   #122
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I am so glad you found us. I hope you can find a local group as well. There is nothing like not having to explain yourself all the time. And it gives you courage to hang on when you see others hanging on as well. Can you give your family and bf a book to read? Crohn's for Dummies is a good one. Maybe have them read the forums some to maybe get more understanding. Anyway, glad we can be here for you.
04-14-2015, 12:54 PM   #123
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Didn't pass my physical testing for police process hiring today. Feel like a failure. Was close but I just couldn't do it. Was the second to last test on the physical too. So close yet so far. Passed bench, 300m sprint, vertical, and push-up....failed sit-up and I was done. Had mile and a half which would have been a struggle anyway. Because I'm trying to be a police officer, I get passed over for other jobs. They want people that will make a career out of it. Feel like a failure. Have a fiancé. Graduate in May. Have to be moved out by June. No place to go and no job.


04-20-2015, 12:28 PM   #124
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I'm glad I found this thread because just yesterday I was having an emotional day feeling very much like a burden. I'm 28 and have to be taken care of by my girlfriend and mother. I hate that their lives have to revolve around mine so much.
04-20-2015, 12:44 PM   #125
Marlena
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Yeah, definitely not fun.
04-20-2015, 12:47 PM   #126
LCATC945
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I'm glad I found this thread because just yesterday I was having an emotional day feeling very much like a burden. I'm 28 and have to be taken care of by my girlfriend and mother. I hate that their lives have to revolve around mine so much.

I'm 22 and last year I was being taken care of by my mother. By girlfriends mother (now fiancé) and girlfriend (now fiancé) I know the feeling. But we can't help it. But it sucks feeling that way.


04-20-2015, 02:55 PM   #127
Lisa
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Didn't pass my physical testing for police process hiring today. Feel like a failure. Was close but I just couldn't do it. Was the second to last test on the physical too. So close yet so far. Passed bench, 300m sprint, vertical, and push-up....failed sit-up and I was done. Had mile and a half which would have been a struggle anyway. Because I'm trying to be a police officer, I get passed over for other jobs. They want people that will make a career out of it. Feel like a failure. Have a fiancé. Graduate in May. Have to be moved out by June. No place to go and no job.
Don't write off being a police officer....keep studying and practicing.....a LOT of people don't pass the physical portion of testing the first or even second time...here in NY, the CPAT can drop a prospective firefighter on the first obstacle - the stair stepper.....I've seen people only last 20 seconds before failing! Look at what you did as an accomplishment - you made it so far...next time the goal should be to make it farther.....and GOOD LUCK!!!!!

I don't quite understand why you get passed over for other jobs - do you come out and tell them you are looking for short term? I don't know if that is such a good idea - you definitely don't have to volunteer that type of information..... also, many cops have a b-job due to work schedules.....
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04-21-2015, 12:38 AM   #128
LCATC945
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Don't write off being a police officer....keep studying and practicing.....a LOT of people don't pass the physical portion of testing the first or even second time...here in NY, the CPAT can drop a prospective firefighter on the first obstacle - the stair stepper.....I've seen people only last 20 seconds before failing! Look at what you did as an accomplishment - you made it so far...next time the goal should be to make it farther.....and GOOD LUCK!!!!!



I don't quite understand why you get passed over for other jobs - do you come out and tell them you are looking for short term? I don't know if that is such a good idea - you definitely don't have to volunteer that type of information..... also, many cops have a b-job due to work schedules.....

I'm not going to stop trying. I just need a job in general. I am focusing right now on my studies so the gym has not been able to fit in my schedule. I only have a month left. Problem with me is I'm too honest. They ask what my degree was in and I'm upfront about it. It's just who I am. I am working on another prospective job. But I've also changed my how I approach my future plans. I will try to become a part time officer at some point but not on the near future.


05-07-2015, 06:35 PM   #129
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Hope all is well with everyone!
07-03-2015, 08:07 PM   #130
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Thank you Dusty for all that you wrote, every bad day i have i always come hear and it always lifts my spirits! Thank you so much
07-04-2015, 11:52 AM   #131
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Hello,
I'm new here and this is my first activity of any kind, I have a long story (as we all do), but just don't feel like writing about it today, I will soon, as I'm at the tail end ( I'm hoping) of the worst and longest flare-up I've had in 4-years, Thanks DustyKat for your thread, it did make me feel better, what I've always had a problem with family and friends is how Crohn's or IBS are considered a nothing disease to all who don't have it, in my case it might be because I've never talked about it for fear of being considered a whinner or complainer and didn't want to be a burden to anyone!

Last edited by MyEnemy52; 07-04-2015 at 12:34 PM.
07-24-2015, 02:27 PM   #132
Madhu
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Wow, such an awesome post. I just read it out loud to my husband who is suffering from Crohn's and it immediately made him smile. Thank you so so much for these words
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08-20-2015, 08:38 PM   #133
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Great topic and I've been struggling to post. We need support regardless and I know we can be difficult and miserable sometimes to be around, as such is my case. Me and my wife have been separated almost a year now and it seems she couldn't take me anymore. She was very supportive but I guess I had fallen depressed back in 2010 when diagnosed with UC and have not come out of it. I wasn't giving enough back and I will regret it along with the chance to live with and raise my kids. I guess my message is try your best to thank your support group around you, whoever they are. Life sucks without them. Here's to another bout with Prednisone, cheery me!
08-21-2015, 05:29 AM   #134
DustyKat
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Hope you are okay DarrinA.

Dusty. xxx
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08-22-2015, 03:17 PM   #135
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Hope you are okay DarrinA.



Dusty. xxx

Thanks DustyKat, things aren't well and I am looking for some support, hence on this forum. Depression has taken over and not sure how to get out of it. Marriage was great until I really got sick and seems everything just got hard for everyone around me. Gonna start on Entyvio soon and hope this can bring some positives back for me. Sorry for sounding like a downer but lack of energy combined with inability to leave the house for any length of time has been real hard. 37 and living with my parents and paying for my house that I don't live in is just adding to my stress levels. Thanks again and looking for some local support groups in Vancouver, Canada. Haven't reached out to date but think it's time. All the best.


08-22-2015, 03:57 PM   #136
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Hi dusty, just found this thread, all i can say is you are just damed AWESOME !!!!!..
BEAUTIFULL, message, we try not to be a burden, dont want to be a burden, but somehow feel we are, it helps to know that others dont always see us that way, .. more power to your elbow girl, xx
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08-22-2015, 06:04 PM   #137
DustyKat
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Thanks DustyKat, things aren't well and I am looking for some support, hence on this forum. Depression has taken over and not sure how to get out of it. Marriage was great until I really got sick and seems everything just got hard for everyone around me. Gonna start on Entyvio soon and hope this can bring some positives back for me. Sorry for sounding like a downer but lack of energy combined with inability to leave the house for any length of time has been real hard. 37 and living with my parents and paying for my house that I don't live in is just adding to my stress levels. Thanks again and looking for some local support groups in Vancouver, Canada. Haven't reached out to date but think it's time. All the best.
I am so very sorry to hear of all you are going DarrinA.

It is not uncommon for those with IBD to suffer with anxiety and/or depression, research is now placing it as high as 25-30%. Not hard to see why considering the nature the beast that IBD is. Place that on top with all you are dealing with in your personal life and I can surely understand why the black dog has come calling.

I too hope the Entyvio proves to be very successful for you and I think you are right in starting to look for support from like minded folk. They say a problem shared is a problem halved and I truly do believe that is the case when you have a chronic disease. When you find people that understand what you are dealing with it certainly can lighten the load by breaking the isolation and frustration that is often felt.

Good luck mate and please stay in touch.

Dusty. xxx
08-22-2015, 06:16 PM   #138
DustyKat
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Hi dusty, just found this thread, all i can say is you are just damed AWESOME !!!!!..
BEAUTIFULL, message, we try not to be a burden, dont want to be a burden, but somehow feel we are, it helps to know that others dont always see us that way, .. more power to your elbow girl, xx
Thank you for your warm and kind words!

I hear where you are coming from mandyk. And believe you me, no, we don’t see you that way.

Speaking generally...
That doesn’t mean we don’t have our bad days and we might sound angry, lord knows I have done that to the kids and I’m not proud of it! But on reflection it has been borne out of frustration and heartbreak that I can’t do a damned thing to take this disease away from them. And I would hazard to say that for your loved ones it to is borne out of the helplessness of seeing you suffer.

All that said I will acknowledge again that I know there are those that don’t have the love and support of the ones that should show that to them unconditionally...family. I hope that if this is the case you can turn to trusted and supportive friends. In my mind a good supportive mate far outweighs bad blood (as in family) any day.

Dusty. xxx
08-23-2015, 01:59 AM   #139
fuzzy butterfly
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So true dusty,I am quite lucky my family and friends are of great support, but like your self sometimes feel are if they are helpless/useless, but now you believe me when I say, you all are so helpful/useful just by being there and being you, and we appriciate that beyond all else.like you I feel so sorry got others that don't have that support, and pray they find this forum, so they will get some of that from all of us here.. God bless you and your children xx
10-10-2015, 08:07 AM   #140
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Thank you, DustyKat! These are the exact words I want my daughter to hear and understand She has been very ill for six months and recently diagnosed with Crohns. She feels like a huge burden and isn't at all..Yes, it is hard sometimes but, I love her dearly and am always there for her. She feels because she is 28 yrs that she shouldn't need so much help.
10-13-2015, 09:52 AM   #141
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Well I was going to put this in the "If you could offer ONE piece of advice to a Crohn's sufferer" thread but I don't think it fits there (((shrug))).

If you are fortunate enough, and I only say that 'cause I know some of you on here aren't supported by your family , to have loved ones that care about you please know that you are not a burden to us. We do what we do for you because we love you more than life itself.

We understand your struggles and are there with you.

We wish we could take the pain away and when we can't we are there to hold your hand, cuddle and soothe you.

We are there to cry with you and for you.

We are there to clean up after you.

We are there when you have to endure difficult diets.

We are there when you are admitted for long and frightening hospital stays.

We are there to support and advocate for you when you go to see your doctors and have tests.

We are there to remind you to take your tablets.

We are there to listen when this bloody disease is too much to bear.

We are there to fight for you when all hope is gone.

We wish more than anything in the world that you didn't have this disease.

We rejoice with you when you are in remission and times are good.

.............................. and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Dusty.
Thank you for this post very much.

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12-29-2015, 10:17 PM   #142
LCATC945
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A little update on myself. I did get a job. About a month before graduation of college. It's at a dealership in the service department as a service department. I just hope I can get Into shape so I'm not stuck in it forever


12-29-2015, 10:19 PM   #143
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A little update on myself. I did get a job. About a month before graduation of college. It's at a dealership in the service department as a service department. I just hope I can get Into shape so I'm not stuck in it forever
Great nrws

12-30-2015, 02:03 AM   #144
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Well done ☺ hope it all goes well. Best wishes 💕
01-12-2016, 05:50 AM   #145
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DustyKat, I just read the first post.
Thank you, I am having a hard day and this helped me a bit.
01-14-2016, 04:31 PM   #146
anitas.paul
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Thank you just to read that feel like crying stupid eh know that by thing's a certain someone says that she wants to understand and no matter how far i fall of the way side that she loves me no matter what to say i hate the feeling like a burden part is an understatement will read this over and over and share it with my precious one ☺
01-14-2016, 04:35 PM   #147
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Thank you just to read that feel like crying stupid eh know that by thing's a certain someone says that she wants to understand and no matter how far i fall of the way side that she loves me no matter what to say i hate the feeling like a burden part is an understatement will read this over and over and share it with my precious one ☺
I had a resection six years ago and my wife was by my side the whole way.

01-14-2016, 04:38 PM   #148
anitas.paul
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By now after all we been through and the fact she puts up with me though we're some 10.000 miles apart still feel like she's by my side every day
03-30-2016, 05:09 AM   #149
anitas.paul
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Hi all hoping you're all well as can be how to you make family aware of either ibd or ibs multiple symptoms without starting a totally unessacery and unintended arguement.My partner I'm easy enough in the knowledge that i don't have to go on about my condition and really wuite happy that i have her in my life but my family won't even read the support section on here though I've tried to steer them in the direction of the link.
06-15-2016, 12:23 AM   #150
Firuza
 
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I'm fortunate enough to have some supportive family members and a great bf. But at the end of the day, they really don't understand. I think the only way that they could would be if they had Crohn's as well...and I wouldn't wish that on any of them.

When I was first diagnosed back in 1998, my mom really wanted to find local support groups for me to talk to others that have gone through it before. But I was too young, scared and proud to admit I needed help understanding how much my life would be changing.

I've only been looking around this forum for a few days now, but I've been reading a lot of posts and it's been very touching and emotional ...I've lost count of the number of times I've been reading something and I think to myself...no shit me too!
Hey Hangryginger! I can relate to what you are saying. I have a supportive family as well but they just don't get my fears and feelings like a person with Crohn's would.

My father keeps telling me not to think too much and not read stuff online. Sometimes it frustrates me that he loves me so much and yet he doesn't understand that I can't help thinking nor researching stuff.

I'm from Mumbai, India and many doctors are still clueless about Crohn's. We don't have supports groups where we can meet and talk about how we feel. I found this forum yesterday and I am so glad I joined. I finally have people who know exactly how I feel.

I don't have bf because I am too scared of being rejected because of this disease. I have had this disease since 2 years and it's taken me a while to accept it and deal with it.

All the best to you. And you are definitely not a burden. We are all in this together. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Tc.
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