Share Facebook
Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Some people have no idea...


11-10-2010, 11:08 AM   #1
Squadinho
Member
 
Squadinho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cardiff, United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
Some people have no idea...

how lucky they are.

I don't know how many of you experience this, but it is really something that gets my back up.

The amount of people I know that complain about how crap their lives are and how they can't cope with life anymore because of stupid incidences such as, but not limited to their boyfriend of 2 weeks dumping them (most recent one I can remember).

I'm not a person who likes to cause conflict, but sometimes I just feeling like telling them to F off. At least they've got their health and don't have to spent most of their day in pain, half the day on the toilet and hardly being able to eat or do anything because they feel so tired, like a lot of people with CD / UC / other IBD conditions do.

RANT!
__________________
Diagnosed July 2010

Crohn's disease in the Jujenum, Terminal Ilium, Caecum, Sigmoid, Descending, Transverse and Ascending Colon.

Current Meds
Remicade / Infliximab Infusions
Methotrexate

Past Meds
Azathioprine 150mg
Prednisolone
Calcium + D3 Supplement
11-10-2010, 01:20 PM   #2
Rebecca85
Senior Member
 
Rebecca85's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nottingham, UK
I know exactly what you mean. People say things like 'I was so tired last night I only did half an hour at the gym and was in bed by 11' WHAT? I couldn't even have got to the gym, and was in bed for half 9 and I'm still freaking tired today! And people think I'm exaggerating to get sympathy!

You have a few choices. One, simply ignore them. Two, insert some sarcastic or humourous comment and hope they take the hint (e.g. at least you had a boyfriend, I spent the last 2 weeks in the bathroom). Three, tell them straight out 'my belly hurts, my ass hurts and I'm too freaking tired to deal with your problems as well right now'. Four, be a 'good friend' and listen to them and suck it up and hope they return the favour some day.

Nah, who am I kidding, people like that won't ever return the favour. I tend to stick with one, and just nod and 'oh dear' and then forget all about it. Or people I am actually friends with I will do two, and they usually get it.
__________________
Crohn's in the terminal ileum, dxed Jun '10

125mg azathioprine
4g Pentasa
11-10-2010, 01:56 PM   #3
rygon
Moderator
 
rygon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Grimsby, United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
I also think we should count ourselves lucky as well. Ok, we arent in the best of shapes but at least most of us are getting cared by decent professionals, have a home, food, water etc

yeh we could have it a lot better, but it could also be a lot worse
11-10-2010, 02:17 PM   #4
Misty-Eyed
Forum Monitor
 
Misty-Eyed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
Yeah I get that but everyone's problems are relative, I guess.

People who like to complain for the sake of complaining are annoying though.
11-10-2010, 03:48 PM   #5
Bloom
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dublin, Ireland
I agree poeple do not get it at all im really really sick of people telling me that i need to get out of bed and go out!!!! And what gets me is that there like come and visit me...... im like are u for REAL there is a reason i am in bed and havent left the house in weeks like DUHHHH
11-11-2010, 04:43 AM   #6
Squadinho
Member
 
Squadinho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cardiff, United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
I also think we should count ourselves lucky as well. Ok, we arent in the best of shapes but at least most of us are getting cared by decent professionals, have a home, food, water etc

yeh we could have it a lot better, but it could also be a lot worse
I couldn't agree more. I mean, I know I complain but I appreciate that there are people a lot worse off than me which is why I try not to complain too much in general.

You have a few choices. One, simply ignore them. Two, insert some sarcastic or humourous comment and hope they take the hint (e.g. at least you had a boyfriend, I spent the last 2 weeks in the bathroom). Three, tell them straight out 'my belly hurts, my ass hurts and I'm too freaking tired to deal with your problems as well right now'. Four, be a 'good friend' and listen to them and suck it up and hope they return the favour some day.
I tend to mix in one a four.
11-13-2010, 07:31 AM   #7
StarGirrrrl
Moderator
 
StarGirrrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: UNITED KINGDOM

My Support Groups:
I feel sorry for them that they feel their problems are so bad, really I do! So annoyed with friends putting "tired" on their status, they don't know the meaning of the word, or "fed up" when they can't go out partying due to a temporary ailment!
__________________
2006. Tummy issues (more IBD than IBS).
2009 joint pain/worsening tummy issues.
CRP 20-36 2006-now. C3/C4 inflammation markers huge,
2014 IDA & low B12.

June 2014 admitted to Hospital 3 nights as emergency transfused 2 units of blood. Dangerous case of anaemia.
Caught by pure chance!
Cause currently unknown but suspected CD.

Waiting on blood & stool results from January.

Hoping to stop anaemia treatment soon & lower B12 daily dose!
11-13-2010, 08:39 AM   #8
woops!
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Virginia
I usually go for number 3. "well I'm sorry your boyfriend dumped you...... how sad. I will keep you in my thoughts as im trying to get off the pot, while I use a whole roll of TP, and wonder when it may be safe for me to eat again. Please know I'm truley thinking off ya."
I find that shuts them up for quite a while
__________________
Wherever you be.... let the wind blow free!
11-13-2010, 03:34 PM   #9
Astra
Moderator
 
Astra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: St Helens, Merseyside, United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
I say

'Oh, I'm sorry, but you've mistaken me for someone who gives a shit!'

(but not to my closest friends)
__________________


Joan

Dx Crohn's in TI 2005 symptoms for 15 years prior

BEEN ON -Azathioprine, 6MP, Prednisolone, Pentasa, Budesonide, Metronidazole, Humira, Methotrexate,

NOW ON -Amitriptyline 25mg
21/02/14 Right hemicolectomy surgery




http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.p...4208290&ref=ts

No-one should make you feel inferior without your consent!

11-13-2010, 03:54 PM   #10
GutlessWonder86
Forum Monitor
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
@Astra---roflmtushyoff.

What gets me is how healthy people who have so much going for them (ex--an awesome spouse/SO, great kids, great career, a home, etc.) turn to booze or street drugs in order to cope with their "stress". I'm sorry, I really don't feel much empathy for them as I do for those who have IBD.

If they want to see stress, they should take a walk in our shoes for a whole week and deal with the tests we go through esp. the scopes, the constant pain, living in the bathroom, taking tons of pills, the fatigue, being discriminated at work/even worse fired, heck they should take a tour on a GI unit & see the folks who've just come out of surgery. That should scare the heck out of them & make them thankful for what they have.

I'd give anything for a cure for all of us but I feel we do the best we can with what we are given. I think we have better coping skills than "normal" folks because we are SPECIAL.
11-13-2010, 04:03 PM   #11
Astra
Moderator
 
Astra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: St Helens, Merseyside, United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
Oh dead right!
we are special (not in a sunshine bus way tho!)
11-13-2010, 04:20 PM   #12
rygon
Moderator
 
rygon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Grimsby, United Kingdom

My Support Groups:
talking about facebook status' I hate it when people put "im Board"
Firstly spell bored correctly, second of all you have a sound body and sound mind, find something to do and enjoy life for what it is. These are the people normally sat in front of tv expecting thyat to tell them what to do and what to like. Go for a walk or do something creative like drawing or painting. Theres so many posibilities which you have that people like us cant do when we are ill
11-17-2010, 05:01 PM   #13
Manzyb
Forum Monitor
 
Manzyb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: San Diego, California

My Support Groups:
I usually go for number 3. "well I'm sorry your boyfriend dumped you...... how sad. I will keep you in my thoughts as im trying to get off the pot, while I use a whole roll of TP, and wonder when it may be safe for me to eat again. Please know I'm truley thinking off ya."
I find that shuts them up for quite a while


I LOVE IT!!! I think that is awesome. I will try to remmeber that next time!


Everyone does have their problems, and maybe to them their problems seem way worse than anyone elses. You really just have to ignore it and move on. People like that don't really care that anyone else is going through a tougher time, it's usually all about them.
__________________
Diagnosed with CD in 1999 at 15.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...14&ref=tn_tnmn


Sadie turns 2, 4/5/13!
11-18-2010, 05:09 AM   #14
jboi85
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Isle of Wight, United Kingdom
Oh, I'm incredibly sorry to hear that your boyfriend, the 294th this week has dumped you, that you cant think of what to have for dinner, or that you have to go to the shop in the rain. I shall be thinking of you while my head is down the toilet, it feels as if there is a huge ogre juggling pineapples in my belly, and my bumhole feels like someone has violently inserted a porcupine into it...
11-18-2010, 11:04 AM   #15
Babs1957
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
It's all relative to your expectations and situations. We are ego-centric that way. I'm sure there are plenty of people in this world who would trade what's happening to them for ours in a heartbeat.

A Note from the Universe:

"When in doubt, give in, let them have it, surrender, make peace.

When there's no doubt, give, let them have it, surrender, make peace.

Did I make life too easy?"
__________________
Never trust a fart.
11-18-2010, 07:58 PM   #16
Kathryn
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
When I was first diagnosed and at my worst, I didn't tell my friends. I rarely complained and actually was in the hospital for about a week and didn't tell anyone other than my immediate family.

I kept thinking to myself, "this is hell, but I'm not dead, I don't have cancer, I'm not dying today, I have nothing to complain about, I don't deserve to complain."

I spent the first year of my disease, which was the hardest, living with the above idea. I had no right to say anything. Then I finally started opening up to a friend of mine who had diabetes, two non-functioning kidneys, had lost his leg to the disease and so much more. He explained to me that complaining about my own stuff didn't invalidate other people's complaints. There's plenty of room for all of us to vent about stuff because it's really an important thing to do.

It didn't matter that he was always at death's door and I wasn't. It was still okay for me to complain at him and vice versa. We used to do it a lot really. Complain about our diseases, our symptoms, the stupid things, when we dumped our lovers or when we stubbed our toes. I had more toes than he did by default since he had a fake leg, I complained about that much more often.

I lost him last year due to complications from his kidney transplant. I complained about that a lot, too.

Sure, people complain about annoying things but it could be worse ... we're not dead, we're still alive to complain.

-Kathryn

PS: And I totally stubbed my toe today. :-)
11-18-2010, 08:22 PM   #17
Gue33
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Alberta
Oh, I do like that!!!

'Oh, I'm sorry, but you've mistaken me for someone who gives a shit!'

I have had that thought so often.
So sorry for the loss of your friend, Kathryn. Sound like you had a very special friend ship. It is good to complain and then laugh your troubles away with a friend.
It's the cronic complainers, selfish people to whom I would love to quote the Joans words.
Pam
PS. I would hesitate with my friends as well. Heh, heh.
11-19-2010, 06:42 PM   #18
effdee
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Having a cruel sense of humor, I love this thread. The statuses like "my plans didn't work out so now I have nothing to do tonight" or whatever dumb thing that upset them just make me laugh now. Some people just don't know how much they take day-to-day health for granted, and they probably won't until it's robbed from them.
11-20-2010, 03:28 AM   #19
Jenny06xx
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Cwmbran , gwent, United Kingdom
One thing I noticed since being diagnosed is that you find out who your true friends are!!
People I hardly see only because I'm far away came to visit me at hospital even one who is a single parent with two kids walked for an hour in the freezing cold with her kids to c me, whereas another who I visit every week been best friends since we were 4 ,always phones me for advice and help etc didn't come once in 3 weeks!! She lives 2 mins up the road drives and didn't even phone or text me, then when I got out of hosp she phoned to ask me to come to hers so even though I was I'll I did go and she moaned about how she fancies someone else when she's getting married !!!
I haven't spoken to her since, I'm waiting for her to make the first move !
And also the people that no more about your illness than you do !! When clearly they have no clue they look up crap on the net then tell me to not take too many tablets etc yeah right I wish I didn't have to!!
__________________
diagnosed with crohn's disease September 2010 symptoms since 2003
Acute pancreatitis 2003
gallbladder removed laprascopic 2003

Meds

Budesonide finished again !!
Pentasa 2g 2x a day
Pred 40mg
Ensure plus ( no longer needed)
Dihydrocodeine 120mg slow release 3 a day
Dihydrocodeine 30mg 2.. 4x day
Tramadol 50 mg 2 ...4x a day ( stopped coz it's not helping )

Waiting for fist appointment at pain clinc I hope it helps !
Reply

Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Some people have no idea...
Thread Tools


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:45 AM.
Copyright 2006-2017 Crohnsforum.com