Lulu, I know the feeling! I've got bills on top of bills too. It's so stressful!
My mini-vent (kind of a big vent actually) is that my brother has been driving me crazy lately. It's like talking to someone I don't know. Okay, here's some backstory. My brother was discharged from the air force last summer and didn't have anywhere to live. My dad said that if my brother moved back in with him, that he'd either kill brother or brother would drive him to his grave. They do not get along and just cannot live together. So, I have a 3 bedroom house and it's just hubby and me and the pets, so I offered brother our guest bedroom for as long as he needed. We thought it was just going to be a few months but it's been almost a year now. Brother pays rent to us every week and has been a fine housemate, up until the past couple of months.
I honestly don't know what caused the weird personality change. Brother has struggled with depression his whole life and he also smokes a lot of weed. I don't know if either of those are responsible for this or not. But lately, I just cannot talk to him! For example, the other day he got up at 11 AM which is odd for him because he usually stays up very late and sleeps until like 2 PM. So I asked him if he had to work early and if that was the reason for him being awake at the crack of noon. He got a weird look on his face and said, "Work? What is work?" Like he was trying to be philosophical about it? And just the other day, he and I and my mom were putting together plans to all get together this coming weekend. So I told him where & when. And he was like, "I'm not a time traveler. I don't live in the future. I am in the now. I can't tell you what I will be doing in the future because I cannot know that. I have autonomy." (Something like that anyway - autonomy and mastery are his two favorite words lately - I call them his Bull*** words because he just sounds like he is talking BS!)
The worst, though, is whenever my illness is mentioned. He starts telling me what I should & shouldn't do to get better. Like, he keeps telling me I should exercise (I already do, not because he tells me but because it's part of my physical therapy for my arthritis). And whenever I complain about a symptom, instead of him saying oh that's too bad or whatever, he'll say "And how does that make you feel?" Like he's frigging trying to analyze me! I said, it feels like this! And I slammed a door in his face, and then I burst into tears. It's like he doesn't care about anything anymore and is a completely different person. It's been super stressful on me lately, I can't take much more of robot/crazy brother. I know it's not just me this is affecting, my husband has noticed this lately too and my friend was over the other day when brother started haranguing me and I just told him he's talking BS again and walked away - my friend was like, oh my gosh, that was awful, are you okay?
So, what would you guys do? Kick him out? I think he needs help, I'm wondering if the drugs or the depression are doing this to him. But I don't think he'll admit he's got a problem or accept help. I don't want to enable this to continue - if he's on his own, and he's depressed, it might get even worse though. I just don't know! What on earth do you do when a close relative suddenly has a personality change like this? I should mention, when he's not working he spends about 95% of his time in his room, on his computer. He doesn't seem to have friends, and he compulsively cleans a LOT lately too. That's another part of the personality change, he was always kind of messy before.
Sorry, that was a long vent. But I think I need some help here with my brother. Help?
Edited to add: Lately he's also been saying that "an unexamined life is not worth living" which is apparently why he's been so analytical about certain things. A few years ago he was very depressed and made some vague threats about suicide. I obviously REALLY don't want it to come to that. He hasn't threatened lately but if he's depressed he's probably had some thoughts. I just don't know. This should probably be in its own thread since it's not a mini-vent at all but a big old vent and problem!