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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Why every few weeks?


06-19-2007, 05:11 PM   #1
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Why every few weeks?

I feel lost again at the moment. Every few weeks I begin to get depressed and I don't know why. I am seeing a psychologist and stuff but I have never gotten much help from him since my parents told him I have anxiety problems. I have told him many times that most of my problems start with my depression. It's just annoying now and everytime I feel like this I start to feel worse in my intestines. Like this week all of a sudden I had two days of D. The worse thing is that I do not have any symptoms of Crohn's as of now and everytime I get sick and go to the doctor I am told that I am fine. For some reason the day after I don't take my 6-mp I start to feel better. So the next time I go to the GI I am going to ask to be off of it and maybe start something else. Although right now I don't trust medication. I don't understand whats going on right now and I just want to stop everything and sleep. But no my parents are bitching to me about how I have to study for my math final. I ask, Why the hell does it matter? I am doing well enough in class that don't even need to take the final and I have a note card that's well enough. I just want to graduate and leave this disgusting world of high school. Thanks for letting me rant. I will probably have a few more of these.
06-19-2007, 08:57 PM   #2
D Bergy
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Depression often runs in cycles like yours. I would be just fine for weeks and then tank. Wait it out and do the cycle again. I guess the main thing to remember is that it will go away, just as mysteriously as it came.

I would ask your doctor about the medication. Maybe it has something to do with it.

Hang in there.

D Bergy
06-20-2007, 08:52 AM   #3
Kev
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Hey, Jeff, rant whenever you want.. Cycles, mood swings, depression, anger, it's all a part of life. Being young, unsure of what's ahead of you, but wanting to move on from where you are... those are totally normal feelings. like D bergy said, these will pass.. no one, esp. someone dealing with chronic illness, can be happy, upbeat and in control all of the time. And your parents want you to study??? Relax, I'm a parent and it's just something we parents fixate on.. like, it probably wouldn't hurt, and it might just help... at least the grades would be better (that's parental thought process at work - parents don't have all of the answers either).
As for your psychologist, sounds like you don't fully trust him/her, that you feel it's too late to develop a good relationship.. that his/her take on your situation had already been influenced too much by your parents... Trust/belief issues in dealing with a psychologist really can be an obstacle.. perhaps you need to discuss this at length... If your relationship with this one can't be strengthened, then perhaps a totally new psychologist is your better choice... once you've given this one as much time as you can to see things your way, or till you start to see things his/her way.
Anxiety, depression, teen angst, whatever.. Seeing someone about this is a VERY positive thing.. but you have to be in a position so that you have faith in what they say, and then.. the really hard part.. you have to apply what they say to you in real life.. like a lot of things, you only get out of it what you're willing to put into it.. as for the possibility that some of your meds may be causing/triggering, etc., these swings... talk to your doctor. check into side effects, drug interactions, etc..

All of these things take work... like mastering a tricky bike manuever.. if at first you dont' succeed, keep at it.. Like, no one ever learned to walk on their first attempt
__________________
KEV

Dx'd July, 2006
Meds: Flagyl, Cipro, Pred, AZA.. to no effect
Low Dose Naltrexone Nov 2007 - May 2014
Remicade June 17th, 2014
06-20-2007, 10:32 PM   #4
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
You see my parents don't understand that when I push myself too hard and study I worry too much and therefore I get sick. My medicine makes me feel sick every so often so I think I should change it.

I get depressed mostly because of my thoughts in my mind. I think of horrible things and it's not like I try to it's just what comes to mind at night. Then I feel like I shouldn't be here just because I may one day hurt someone although I have way to much self control, which is another problem because I bottle up my pains. I see things sometimes and hear other things and it leads me to a state of utter confusion and self hate. My mind wanders in a dream world that never ends, I relive life and sometimes as other people but just in my head which makes me go crazy because I can see how bad their lives are or sometimes how good their lives are.
06-20-2007, 11:36 PM   #5
Cara Fusinato
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Are you taking something like Paxil or Celexa or something to help slow down the thoughts? Sometimes it's the brain misfiring (simple explanation) and these thoughts can be settled down pretty easily.

Hang in there . . . most people feel that way about High School as they near the end of it. I got to the point, myself, of grim determination to keep up the grades and push through to the end. My senior year was just stress, stress, stress, though my Jr. curriculum was the hardest of the HS years.

People don't understand how little stress it takes . . . I was feeling great and one of my dogs attacked one of our new kittens. Kitten is OK, dog has a shock collar on (two shocks, she leaves the room when the kittens enter). When she attacked the kitten, within minutes, I was in slight pain. I was OK the next morning when I knew the kitten was OK. My husband looked at me funny when I told him how quickly it made my side hurt. But it does.

Hang in there - - I'm still on your side.
06-21-2007, 08:03 AM   #6
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
I can't take those drugs because I end up like I am basically on speed which makes me crazy.
06-21-2007, 09:56 AM   #7
Kev
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The tricks, games, dreams, delusions, fantasies, etc., that our minds can play on us is limitless. Navigating thru these is tuff at the best of times. Factor in illness, and meds, and youth (I'm not kidding, hormonal changes during your early years can have dramatic impact on your thought processes.. you think the teen suicide rate is just a number? - people don't stop to consider what effect this 'normal' condition has on the human spirit), the pressure from school, peers, and family.. and voila, you've got an extremely full plate. When I recall my youth, or when I look at what my sons go thru, I wonder how anyone makes it thru these years. I sort of see it as being tossed into one of those sideshow circus 'House of Mirrors'. Like, none of us wanted to go thru it, yet we all ended up in here, and getting out of it seems almost impossible. But if we keep our cool (OK, ancient term, I know), seek AND take a little help along the way, then we eventually find our way out. If I were to use the phrase.. "it's just a phase", then you might get the idea that no one understands... but if you 'humor' an old man.. and pretend that he, too, once was a young fellow like yourself... and that maybe he recalls a period when he was totally mixed up, confused, angry, etc.. YET he somehow managed to get thru it... then maybe his take on the subject isn't totally off the mark.. MAYBE it is just a 'phase', and that maybe relaxing a little over it all, talking to friends, family AND a psychologist (or whoever) WILL help you discover a pathway for yourself thru this

OK, that's just the personal opinion of an old fart.. it's the same advice that I'd give to my sons.. Essentially, this too will pass, and there are better days ahead..
06-21-2007, 10:39 AM   #8
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Thanks everyone for helping me. Today I graduate and I can't dread it more. Thanks again.
06-21-2007, 10:48 AM   #9
Kev
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Hey, Jeff.. That's great.. Con-graduations.. and have a very happy day. Take care!!!
06-21-2007, 01:16 PM   #10
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Yeah it's going to suck. Being outside in a hot tent with about six hundred other people in a gown and cap. I just want my diploma.
06-23-2007, 02:30 PM   #11
mikeyarmo
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Location: Toronto, Ontario
Congratulations on being done highschool FOR EVER Jeff! This is really one part of your life that you can move away from.

We all know how frustrating it is when no one seems to understand what we are going through, but we can not let ourselves get more stressed by this. That just creates another cycle that makes things worse.

I hope you are able to tell the psychologist everything that you are feeling and all of your concerns. The psychologist may even be able to tell things to your parents that you have tried to do unsuccessfully. It may just take a different voice for the message to get through to them. Just do your best to be open and not to bottle anything in, as this just makes you feel worse physically and emotionally.

It is now the summer though, so this should be a relaxing and calm time. Do your best to avoid activities that feel stressful and remember to try and be open.

We are here if you need us, but we are not substitute for trained professionals or even conversations with your parents. Good luck buddy.
06-23-2007, 03:46 PM   #12
Nancy Lee
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Location: Windsor, Ontario
Hey Jeff!!

06-23-2007, 07:09 PM   #13
Cara Fusinato
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Join Date: Sep 2006
So -- now you are one of the proud -- the mighty -- one ones who attended the rite of passage involving standing, sitting, standing, and breathlessly waiting to turn that tassel to the other side of the cheap ugly hat! CONGRATULATIONS!

Now the real question -- did ya get any loot from the grad. party?
06-23-2007, 07:25 PM   #14
D Bergy
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Join Date: Apr 2007
And, What are you going to do with the loot?

Congratulations. I did not want to go to my graduation either. But, it is more for the proud parents and relatives, than for you. But the important part is you get the loot.

D Bergy
06-24-2007, 09:35 AM   #15
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Thanks everybody. It rained on graduation so their was a lot of sitting, standing, sitting, standing, then running for your life as you try to shake hands with your favorite teachers.

I got a little money. I may put it into a new guitar when I can save up like 500 more. My friend got over a thousand. It's funny cause he is freaked out about it and doesn't want to spend it but at teh same time doesn't want to pay taxes so he is not putting it into the bank.

My parents barely saw me because of the rain and stuff. They saw a glimpse of me and thats it. The rest of my family is in another part of the country so they didn't come.
06-24-2007, 02:36 PM   #16
Cara Fusinato
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Sounds great! Brings back such fond memories of my own passing. I cried through mine because life as I knew it was ending (fortunately better things were afoot).

When I taught Jr. High for 12 years, I had to be part of the graduation. We sure got those little brats to stand, sit, walk, shake on cue (you should see our DOGS! They can do it too!).

CONGRAT'S to Jeff!
06-26-2007, 08:30 PM   #17
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Thanks everyone. I just got back from college orientation and it was amazing. I met so many people there. Now I am depressed I can't be there till the end of August.
06-27-2007, 09:08 AM   #18
Cara Fusinato
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Eh, go walk around and hang out in the student union and pretend you are in summerschool!
06-27-2007, 11:20 AM   #19
Jeff D.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Yeah I should.
06-29-2007, 08:17 AM   #20
Cara Fusinato
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Take a thought-provoking book, or your guitar, and go sit in the quad.
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