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08-18-2007, 07:32 PM   #1
tonya_n_ky
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Being Little

I was just wondering if ya'll are mostly "small" framed, ect. I am 5'3" and 122 lbs and all I seem to hear is how "little" I am. UGH! I eat all the time and it just seems that I stay the same. Although food doesn't stay with me long so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I've thought about drinking ensure and several other things but haven't. I don't think my size is TOO little but I hear it from everyone and most of the time it's "How do u stay so little?" and well I don't really care to tell everyone I know that I have crohn's but lately I feel like I should just wear a sign so people stop asking, lol. Anyways, anyone else have this "problem"?
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Tonya
08-18-2007, 08:36 PM   #2
jjs16
 
Hi Tonya,

I am 5'4" 155lbs and I have always heard about my size.
Being a male, I have used this to self motivate and prove to people size does not matter. Some people call this napoleon complex, but I don't go out of my way to prove anything I just try harder, study harder train more to be prepared for any situation.
I also use some of the same mentallity to help come to grips with Chrons.
Stay positive and never give in or give up.

j
08-18-2007, 08:42 PM   #3
Ilysha
 
Hi Tonya,

Yes, I am little too and hear the same thing often. I'm five foot even and fluctuate from about 115-120, but weight less when I'm in a bad Crohns period. Yes, I too get the how do you stay so little comments. I just try to take it as a compliment the best I can. Also, my mom is only five foot as well, but she's battled a weight problem her whole life so as horrific as the Crohn's is, at least I don't have the weight gain issues she has.

I think overall so many people have such a big problem with obesity that seeing a tiny person just causes that reaction. There are those people that make such a big deal out of it that you do want to tell them off. I've thought about saying, "oh try crohnic diahrrea, it works wonders," when they get super annoying, but haven't had the nerve to do it yet!

Ensure worked well for me when I needed to gain after a flare up. I thought the butter pecan flavored Boost drink was the most tolerable taste wise, or milkshakes if you do OK with dairy.

Good luck, fellow petite person!
08-18-2007, 09:35 PM   #4
Kev
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Hi Tonya No, I am not little. Can't remember when I was. I was always 1/2 foot taller than most of the kids I played with... I do recall some mothers of my friends telling them not to play with me, as I probably didn't know my own strength, or at worst.. that I had to be older, and that we were only in the same grade or class as I must be retarded or something, and been kept back in school. No, I wasn't. I slowly got used to the idea... that I was bigger, different than most other people. Try hitchiking when you tower over most people on the road... it doesn't work. Or I recall, when I was 15, getting a summer job because I wanted to buy a cycle... The foreman at the plant took one look at me, and said.. If I hire you, I can layoff one of the forklift drivers.. I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. He worked me like I was a slave... apparently the forklift driver earned a lot more than he paid me. Then there are all of the low lying branches... walking along a sidewalk at nite can be a real pain... And I am sooo tired of people asking me how the weather is up there... or people complaining if I sit in front of them in theatres.. I also am tired (but now that I'm so much older, it has stopped/or slowed down) of drunks in bars/taverns, trying to fight with me for no other reason than my size. I mean, total strangers, whom I haven't passed words with, made eye contact with, or done anything to provoke or disturb them, will routinely pick me out just to start a fight... For them, it's a win/win. If they start something, and finish it, it looks like they're the toughest SOB in the bar.. if they lose, it's only 'natural' did you see the size of the guy he got into the fight with? Me? I can't win either way.
I won't go into buying clothes. That can be as much of a hassle for either the tiny or the large. I once dated a gal who was only 4' 10", and weighed 85 lbs total. I broke my own rule, but she was worth it. I normally won't date anyone under 5' 2"
as it makes slow dancing not only odd to see, but a pain in my back bending down that low. Anyway, didn't want to hijack your thread, or turn my reply into a rant.. just wanted you to know that, either being tiny, or not tiny, the problem is mostly with everyone in between. it's their problem, don't let them make it yours..

Remember, good things come in small packages.
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08-19-2007, 02:45 AM   #5
soupdragon69
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Hi Tonya,

Nope I am not little either! I am 5'8" and classed as obese thanks to all the pred and hypothyroid over the years. Funny thing is now that my Crohn's has been diagnosed I discovered the diet I now have makes the weight fall off me gradually.

My GI said he thinks I have a metabolic problem too (great) but wants to get me into remission first and see what happens. When in hospital recently I put on 6lbs in 3 days and the staff stood and scratched their heads as I was on elemental drinks only. I also tend to gather alot of fluid when on steroids and am so happy when I lose it again as I reduce them.

I have recently had comments about how much weight I have lost since Xmas (am down 3 clothes sizes) and folk want to try the diet I am on. I just laugh at them and point out they really wouldnt!

Folk can be so insensitive cant they? I have quite a bad skin problem that results in boils and big spots. One day a colleague at work came up to me, pointed at my forehead in front of about a dozen staff and said "oooh whats that?" I said "you know what? It's buy one get one free at the local shop. If you go down there quick you can get the free one from mine ok?" She said "really?" Everyone fell about laughing at her and told her she walked into it. Sometimes it really is best to turn the tables on them and make them think, other times, not even dignify it.

I always think if someone is pointing the finger at you its because they feel bad about themselves Tonya and dont want the spotlight on them so put it on you. Either that or they are jealous. Their problem love not yours...

Kev,

My ex was 6'10" and it was great for me being the height I am being able to wear high heels. He used to take the mick out of me by walking on the road whilst I was on the pavement to give me a couple more inches LOL
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Brittle asthma 1996, Hypothyroidism 1998, Severe Crohns ileitis 2006 , Severe IBS 2007, Inflammatory/Rheumatoid Arthritis 2008, Sebhorreic Eczema and Folliculitis 1992, Roseca, steroid induced acne and Hidradenitis Suppurativa 2008, Multiple allergies and food intolerances diagnosed from 2003. Newly diagnosed fibromyalgia Dec 2009. Newly diagnosed calcific tendonitis Jan 2010. Chronic Pain diagnosed Dec 2010.
08-19-2007, 04:28 AM   #6
Mazen
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I'm not little, at 180 cm (I guess it's 5' 11''), but I'm thin (65 Kg). People always tell me why you are thin, why don't you eat more !!!! I just want to scream at them, and tell them: tell me how you can eat if you are nauseous, have abdominal pain,and have to watch carefully and examine any bit of food that passes through your mouth, in fear of any effects........
08-19-2007, 11:49 PM   #7
DanSJVDavis
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I think it also depends upon when you got it in your lifetime. I should've been a whole head or so taller than I am, but I got mine while I was still in my growth cycle (around 16 or 17) and my growth got screwed up. I'm only about 5'6"/5'7" and lately around 150 lbs or so, but I still look fairly skinny because my stomach seems to fill out first. Makes me look kinda like a troll.
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08-20-2007, 08:54 AM   #8
Kev
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Well, i think genetics plays a role, as does health during your formative years. but it also involves how active you were physically. frinstance, my oldest son is now least 2" taller than I am... but he didn't grow up in a physically demanding lifestyle like me, so he didn't fill out really until lately.. he's been working construction that last 2 yrs, and it has changed him dramatically. me? I started working construction as a pick & shovel labourer when I was 13... By the time I was his age, I was asked to turn pro as both a boxer, and a wrestler. I was even offered a football scholarship to univ.. (by an alumni who was a medical quack, so he may have been another scholarship recipient)..
08-20-2007, 10:18 AM   #9
katiesue1506
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I wouldn't exactly call me little... I'm 5'6" ish and 140... but have fluctuated from 125-150 Plus I have a curvy body... makes finding clothes a bastard. anyhow... now that I'm better, I've gained weight... and I'm not liking that so much. I feel really bad sometimes though because I remember when I was at my worst with Crohn's... 125 pounds and I sometimes wish I were still that skinny, however I know it isn't healthy. And I know I didn't look good at all. But it felt good.
08-20-2007, 01:11 PM   #10
Kev
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It's a tragedy, almost a crime, the influence that the 'western' media has had on the self esteem of women. To think that when you are, and I won't use the term 'tiny', because there is a substantive and all too real difference, instead let's say 'frail', and yet feel that you 'feel' good despite your illness because at that weight, you look like what the 'models' look like (and bear in mind, that those 'models' were selected by a group of typically non hetero-sexual designers... so their epitome of what looks good is based on a teenage males physique - i know, I know, that's a gross generalization and soooo stereotypical I should be ashamed)
... BUT, if you'll forgive my generalization, the widespread, overwhelming influence of fashion, culture, media... it just is appalling what it does to a womans' psyche' (sp?). How bad is it? well, the patients at the local childrens hospital who are in for emotional disorders? 86% + are there for treatment of anorexia or buliemia.. At least amongst the girls. did I mention that these are all just the teen cases??
You know how really bad it is? ask any woman what she truly believes to be the 'male' fantasy female physique, and they'll typically dream up somewhere between a catwalk model or a playboy playmate. And you'll never convince them otherwise.

BUT, a major study, done by anthropological psychologists, conducted on males worldwide, even those NEVER exposed to any western media, tells a totally whole other story. men from all over the world were shown silohuettes of the female of the species, and regardless of where they came from, or what their influences may have been, they synomomously chose the same type (at least almost 90% did). It seems to belie the myth.., and perhaps even shows that 'survival' instinct has lots more to do with it.., the the 'male' ideal of the female form is based on a ratio of the waist to hips... 40:60 so, if your waist size is 20% smaller than your hips, you fit the ingrained male ideal... Somehow, someway, our knuckle dragging forebears of the caveman era were aware of the fact that current medical science seems to be just waking up to.. that the crucial matter of health, longevity, survival, seems to be how much extra weight one carries around that area.. too little is no good, as one wouldn't be expected to survive a serious illness or a bad growing season, while too much.. the long term survivability of the mother of one's offspring could be in jeopardy. Anyway, I'm rambling, and I got sidetracked.. Big, small, short or tall... it's all good. The important thing is how one sees themselves, without the eyesight of other's taking over. Even an old girl watcher like yours truly, okay??
08-20-2007, 02:08 PM   #11
Dekar
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im skinny but tall, around 6'1'' and 150 lbs (68 kilo)
08-20-2007, 06:56 PM   #12
katiesue1506
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Well its awful weird that I still feel this way... because I at one time had symptoms of anorexia/bulimia... I wouldn't say I could've been diagnosed as that, however I would starve myself occasionally and try to throw up occasionally... like I said, not often enough to be diagnosed as such, but after I got Crohn's, it really made me appreciate food and being able to eat it. It made me appreciate it because all of a sudden I couldn't have it even if I wanted to because it was too painful or I wasn't hungry. So in that way, I'm glad I got Crohn's. It's made me appreciate a lot. Which like I said, is why its weird that I sometimes still have those thoughts. I guess it is as you said, being born with the ingrain thoughts of western civilization.

I don't usually tell people this story... but for some reason it seems less personal on an internet forum... and also I somehow seem closer to you people even though I don't know you... maybe its all the talk about poop and farting?
08-20-2007, 09:01 PM   #13
KCMike
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After I was given the o.k. from my surgeon in December of last year(I had a resection) I've been working out(treadmill, weightlifting, mountain biking and jogging) on a pretty regular schedule. I was around 145 lbs. post surgery. I gained weight rapidly loading up on carbs and protein. Right now I'm 5'9" 190lbs. According to the BMI(body mass index)http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ I'm almost obese. I haven't felt this good in a long time. You won't see me on any "abs of steel" commercial any time soon but I would give any of those stick people in hollyweird a run for their money. How many supermodels can drink a six-pack on Saturday night and wake up at 6:15 am on Sunday and ride their bike for 15-20 miles? My own personal gauge is if I'm skinny I'm ill and when I'm a fatty I'm healthy.

Disclaimer: See your doctor prior to starting any exercise program.
08-20-2007, 11:23 PM   #14
Sojourn
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I'm 6"1 and usually weigh anywhere between 185 and 210 pounds. So I'm not small, but I'm surprised you get so many comments about being small. It's stupid that so many people have such fixations on appearances.
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08-21-2007, 04:02 PM   #15
DarrylP_Ajax
 
Not little at all:

6 foot 3 1/2, and at peak season for weight training 245-250lbs (i am 237lbs at the moment because i was doing intense cardio for the last 3 months while i was playing hockey, going to start bulking up again for the winter months)
08-22-2007, 12:39 PM   #16
Kev
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Hope I didn't hijack tonya's original thread topic... just trying to commisserate. The grass is definitely not always greener on the other side. (like, you and I should take a flight together.. see who has the better time flying economy class, okay? tonya). I think a lot of people ask the most incredible questions at times, like.. what size shoe do you take? 14 EEEEE How old are you? Early mezazoic.. Anyway, enuff humour.
I have dealt with people asking questions about my size since late puberty, and it's a sign of their ignorance or lack of social skills or polite upbringing. and it all predated my dx ... just now, I (and maybe you are too) seem more 'sensitive' to questions that involve or relate to my general health, even if its just the answers.
like, two summers ago, at my worst... when people asked 'have you lost weight?', my answer? Oh, just 70 or so lbs.. my secret? oh, a mystery illness my doctors haven't been able to diagnose or treat properly, thank you so very much. Would you like me to recommend it? Of course, that isn't how I replied, just the way that I felt like replying.. See, I can say that here on this site, but never could in public.
08-22-2007, 07:00 PM   #17
Maggie-Muffin
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Hello.I'm also 5'3" but weigh alot less than you do Right now struggling to keep at a 100LBS.You are at the right weight right now for your height.I would love to weigh that.Keeping weight on is a constant struggle for me.I go from 90 to 100LBS.I have dropped as low as 78Lbs.I know myself I'm underweight and don't need people telling me it all the time or trying to give me food.I have been told I'm anerexic,which I'm not.My Crohn's just won't let me gain much weight.It doesn't seem to matter if you are big or small some people ask the stupidest questions.Way I look at it I don't like my weight much,but there's not much I can do to change it so I do the best I can with it.To hell with what others think,let them try and live with this disease
08-29-2007, 08:33 PM   #18
killerzoey
 
Kev, I love your sense of humor through this all

It's mostly my husband who is to blame for commenting on how "good" I look - meaning skinny. The sicker am the more he tells me I look beautiful, and it makes me sad. I'm 5'-6" + and weigh around 114 at the moment. My good weight is 125, though I am small boned.
08-30-2007, 12:34 PM   #19
Kev
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Hey KZ... Hmmmm, a man who tries to be supportive, yet ends up saying just the 'wrong' thing? no, I can't relate to that at all... ;-) Us guys just haven't a clue. That being said, IF I didn't have this disease, then I could see me saying that in belief its what you want to hear, maybe even need to hear. Even if internally, I didn't believe it myself. Most of the guys I know don't want the gal in their life to lose weight. It's a myth... We want them to be happy, and healthy, and not fixate over 5, 10 or more lbs that we males dont' even notice. C'mon gals... we can't even colour co-ordinate our clothes, do you honestly believe we men can see the difference in you 5 lbs heavier or lighter? or more? You gotta know us better than that? If you've bought into this in the past, stop and think about what I just said.
then slap yourselves on the forehead, and say in unison "Oh, shit, the old fart is right.. a man wouldn't notice the difference. Unless he was a clothing designer."
08-30-2007, 01:40 PM   #20
D Bergy
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He could be just telling you how good you look because he knows you do not feel well and he can do little else for you.

It may be his way of saying he loves you for better and for worse.

But most likely Kev is right.

Dan Bergman
09-01-2007, 09:07 AM   #21
tonya_n_ky
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I posted wondering if everyone with crohn's, or the majority...is small. I personally am not bothered by how small I am..."good things come in small packages" I was always told. LOL I do try to gain a little weight though, for that time of a flare so that I can afford to lose it. When I was diagnosed. I was 5'3 and got down to 85 lbs and literally looked like death. It just gets old listening to the comments from people. The good part...I can EAT EAT EAT and still be the same size. The bad part... People just thinkin' that I "must eat like a bird"...anyways..hope ya'll are having a good labor day weekend...take care
09-01-2007, 10:08 AM   #22
D Bergy
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I am 6' 3" and 200 lbs currently. Never been small but I was skinny as a younger man. The disease has only been affecting me in the last few years so it probably did not stunt my growth. Neither did the smoking, or if it did, I am grateful for it.

I guess ever size has its advantages. I hit my head so often I hardly notice it any more. Although I can change the average light bulb with out a ladder.

The taller you are the shorter life span you have statistically, or so I heard.

D Bergy
09-01-2007, 06:23 PM   #23
Kev
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size can lower your 'odds' of living to a ripe old age... us larger folks put more Stress on significant organs (heart, lungs, kidneys, liver).. also more wear/tear on joints.. I pass off a lot of my behaviour/attitude due to repeated head trauma from low lying tree limbs, or ornate light fixtures (it's not a medically recognized excuse, but I hold to it).. My last vacation to the Caribean, the horse I was given buckled under load, so I ended up sitting out the trail ride up the mountain, much to the horses relief. As for little ladies (and I know that many women cringe at that term, but I say it with a lot of respect, admiration, OK, OK, even a modicum of lust too!)..oh, where was I? Yes, petite women... I've never met a woman who stated she disliked being petite, except for a gal who was under 5', weighed about 85 lbs and was constantly asked for proof of age despite being in her latter 30s at time. I think that was a fairly remote case... no other women in my personal experience ever expressed similar concern over being petite... except for finding clothes that fit... (I know a couple of ladies who buy all their shoes from kids store, and even a few, well, without being blatantly indiscreet, have to use a childs speculum.. I'll say no more... the ladies know the reference, anyone else it's none of your business).
However, on the male side, when working as a bouncer in my wild days, the most trouble was typically from the vertically challenged males. Trying to make up with aggression for perceived shortcomings, or perhaps they too were subjected to a form of bias/discrimination based solely on their physical stature (or lack of same).
In any event, either drunk or sober, a lot of the guys who deliberately targeted me or the other bouncers/doormen where typically short statured & short tempered.
I may sound judgemental, generalizing like that, but that was my experience. The fact that I never walked a mile in their shoes perhaps blinds me to the reality of the life they lived... I did come to realize that a lot of their anger & resentment is perhaps due to the way they were treated by the female of the species.. I saw a lot of women who liked tall men, a lot who liked big men, a lot who liked older men, and those who self identified as being 'chubby chasers', a term used around one of the larger, more rotund guys that I worked with as a bouncer... but I don't recall any women who came to the various clubs I worked at and left with a guy who was shorter than they... Now, this may sound like a condemnation of women but it's not meant that way.. I raised it to illiustrate the other end of the spectrum I commonly witnessed.. and to some extent still do. Taller women.. It seems to be fading, but there was a time when 5' 10" or more for a woman was akin to a social death sentence. I don't know just how many strikingly attractive women on the tall side would come to a club, and immediately kick of their shoes in order to increase the chances of being asked to dance (back in the days when women only danced with men in public - in case anyone forgot my age)... or how they would be stooped over, trying to disguise their height. Damned shame how their posture was affected... almost a dowager hump... Why? Our stupid culture, or the weak egos of the male of the species... so few men will date a woman taller than they.. Idiotic!. But, I'm rambling. And displaying the ignorance of myself, and my era. I hope the newer generations are less superficial than myself or my generation. It's a sad commentary that, despite being so called civilized beings, in a lot of ways we treat each other, and our respective differences, with just 2 dimensional thinking.
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