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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » I'm sorry I vent so much - I have no one else to talk to.


01-31-2012, 02:07 PM   #1
tlc-x
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I'm sorry I vent so much - I have no one else to talk to.

People ask me occasionally how I am. I tell them i'm alright as I don't really want to go into it. I ask them how they are, because i'm interested and I care.

I get replies like:

"It doesn't matter, you have it so much worse than me anyway."
"I can't complain, it's not as bad as what you've got"
"Don't worry, you're worse"

And stuff like that.

It actually upsets me.

One guy from college asked me how I was, and I said i'm okay thank you, how are you? And he replied saying he's been having blood tests but it doesn't much because I have it so much more worse then him. Then he went on to tell me how he has heart, lung and circulation problems. I'm sorry to hear that but it upsets me how just because i'm ill with tummy problems, people either try to make me feel bad or treat me differently.

"Hey Tasha, how are you? How's the stomach?"

My belly isn't a seperate person.

I don't want bad things to happen to anyone, of course not. If I just kept it to myself that i'm ill, then people would talk to me, but they know and treat me differently. That doesn't help anything to be honest.

I want to be treated like a normal teenager with a bit of a health issue. Not treated like I am dying of some extreme illness and everyone avoids me.

I am normal (well.. my mum would disagree.. ) and I deserve to be treated like a normal person.

I literally have no one to talk to. People ask me about what is going on, and I tell them. I mean, they can ask what scans are like, what it's like to be ill etc.. they may not understand completely but they're interested. But no one is there for the emotional side. I do have my mum but she is soo stressed out. We've been getting lots of bad news recently about things and my dad is in another country for work. She is too stressed for me to have an emotional breakdown on.. so I literally have myself.


Also, kidney scan tomorrow! Wish me luck.. not sure if the luck is that they find something, find out why i'm so ill and treat me and all is good in the world, or luck in the direction of they find nothing..
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~ Tasha.
~ Seventeen years old.
~ South of England
~ All my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents have either CD or UC
~ Fifth year of not living my life properly due to the symptoms
~ Endoscopy, colonscopies, MRI scans, ultrasound scans, blood tests, biopsies, urine tests and so on!
~ Been on so many different medications and nothing actually helps
~ Latest diagnosis is 'Functional Dyspepsia'

01-31-2012, 03:19 PM   #2
Terriernut
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Tasha, I am hoping the scan gives you the all clear in the kidney area.

Yes, people do treat you differently when you are ill. It makes them uncomfortable. The ones that really care, they wish would get better! The ones that are just being polite, they dont really want to know. I got to the point I just tell everyone I'm doing much better thank you! I dont even tell my partner much to be honest. Unless I'm on the verge of collapse.

This disease can be isolating. But, it can make you into a much stronger person. When I was really sick in hospital, I took a meander up to the childrens ward one floor above me. (I had to...I hadnt eaten for weeks, and had to leave when they served food on the ward) It put alot into perspective for me. I also saw a guy with 1/4 of his head off. I decided I would beat whatever came my way. Because those kids were still smiling. Because that guy is the one who helped ME with the antique lift!

You are not your sickness. You are Tasha. You must, no matter how you feel, separate from that illness, and have an existence outside of it if it is possible. Otherwise, the sickness wins. You lose yourself. Dont let that happen. I've told you before you are stronger than that. Its ok to vent. But dont focus so much on being sick that you lose out on so much else! I know you are frightened and feeling alone. You arent alone.
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Misty
DX Crohns Feb 2011, symtoms 1997, 2009 and then WHAM! Emergency surgery for perforated sigmoid, fistula through fallopian tube, septic and near dead: Colostomy-Stan was born 22/12/10. Another parastomal hernia, his name is Ollie and he is MONSTER size!
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02-01-2012, 05:46 PM   #3
tlc-x
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Update - I had my scan today. All my organs are perfectly healthy. That is good news that i'm healthy, bad news that i'm in pain and they don't know why. The lovely doctor said that the scan doesn't look at my bowels or anything linked to that. She can only see my kidneys, pancreas, liver, lungs, urinary track etc. So atleast my kidneys are good! I am seeing a specialist next week for my stomach/intestines/bowel problems. So, we shall see from there.


Thank you Terriernut. xx
02-01-2012, 06:01 PM   #4
Terriernut
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Well, that is very good news Tasha! And you're welcome by the way!

Now, we need to get the stress levels down. Which is why everyone is telling you to breathe! And once the stress levels go down, your pain will go down, even if just a bit! (dont ask how I know this...just put it down to learning the hard way)

And once that goes down...then they will find out whats going on. Yes, it works that way. When you are calm the inflammation goes down, because your adrenals arent on overdrive. Then they can get a better picture of what the problem is. Which is what you want, which will make you better.

So....relax....be happy, as much as you can, and take each day and minute as the blessing it is. And, then you can become a blessing to your family and everyone else, no matter what.
02-01-2012, 06:09 PM   #5
rygon
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If i remember, your facebook names have been about your belly quite a bit

Its good making it public and all, but if you keep on talking about it a lot others are going to use it as a conversation.

A lot of people read posts and use those as conversation pieces as thats all they know of you recently. Its hard to adjust (I was like that for a good few months) but you cant have it both ways really , there has to be a medium which normally falls one way or the other. Either you want people to know about it, talk about it, feel sorry for you etc, or be treated like a healthy person
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02-03-2012, 06:04 AM   #6
tlc-x
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I have two facebooks - one is my personal which is for my family and friends - I don't mention anything to do with being ill or my stomach or anything, and the other is to keep a note of things, ask for advice about my stomach.
02-28-2012, 06:37 PM   #7
NikkiG
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Hi, i've had crohn's for about 6 years, i'm now 18 and i've somehow managed to distance myself from my illness so much that i swear my family and friends forget that i'm ill. It can be just as frustrating as noone wants to listen to my rants or moans. Other issues always seem to get in the way. In school people treated me differently because they knew i was ill and it annoyed me incredibly but as i moved on to college and university very few people know and i'm treated like a normal student who just looks a bit pale.
Nikki.
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