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Loved One

Hello,

My boyfriend suffers from Crohn's and colitis. We have been together for 6 months and are getting married in June of this year. I was not familiar with these diseases prior to meeting him. I have been doing research online in order to familiarize myself with the diseases in order to be able to help and/or be more understanding. He has been suffering for over 8 years and he handles it well. I have never seen him sick. He is very private and i know he keeps it from me when he has flare ups. At first , I couldnt understand when he wouldn't want me to come over. I now know it was because he was having symptoms that he didnt want me to see.

My problem is, I love him very much and want to be there in any way I can. I just dont know what to do because he wants me to stay out of it completely. He has dealt with it for years and sees no reason to change now. I guess because I'm a nurturing person, I just want to make sure I am being there for him.

So, for now I have decided to become more informed and not bother him as much. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you so much,

Strawberry :)
 

KWalker

Moderator
Welcome to the forum! First off, Congrats on the soon to be wedding :) Second, Kudos for you for sticking by someone that suffers from Crohn's. There's a lot of people that wouldn't. I know what he's going through in the sense that he wants to be alone with it. I'm the same way. I got diagnosed when I was two years old (I'm now 21) and we just get so used to dealing with it that we try not to let us hold it back and not make others have to deal with it. I'm the same way. I often try and hide it from my fiancee when I'm not feeling well as I don't think it's fair that she should have to deal with it as well. I think it's a guy thing lol

I personally think that it's best just to let him continue as he is, but also let him know that you are there for him. He does appreciate you being there, trust me. I also think it's awesome that you want to educate yourself with this and if you have any questions, don't ever hesitate to ask :)
 

Angrybird

Moderator
Location
Hertfordshire
Hello Strawberry and :welcome: to the forum. I think it is wonderful that you have come here to find out more about this disease :) Without knowing more about your boyfriends symptoms, treatments and history there is not much we could advise there other than to just to let him know you are there when he needs you. Therefore just have a really good look through the forum and all the seperate sub forums for treatment, support and general stuff. Please do remember we are all different with this disease so do not be alarmed by some of the problems people can experience, what happens to one does not necessarily happen to the other.

I hope your boyfriend is doing well at the moment and that that you find the forum informative, perhaps in time he might want to have a look as well.....

NB Congrats on the wedding!!
 

David

Co-Founder
Location
Naples, Florida
Welcome strawberry! Your fiance is very lucky to have such an amazing person in his life. You can't force him to open up about this stuff, but I think educating yourself will be very beneficial in the long term. We're here for you anytime and are happy to answer any questions you have :)
 
Hey Strawberry and welcome!

It is really sweet that you want to know and understand what your fiance is going through. Crohns isn't the most attractive disease, and it can be hard to open up and let people know what your going through, especially letting them in on all the bloody details. Me and my boyfriend both have crohns disease, we too have been together for about six months. You might think that I wouldn't be emberrassed of my symptoms with him, because he has gone through the same thing, but it atually took me awhile to realize he wasnt judging me. Because you two plan to spend the rest of your lifes together, my prediction is thatt eventually he will be more comfortable with his symptoms around you. Just give it a little time:) In the meentime, it seams to me that your doing the right thing and just educating yourself, so you can support him if he ever needs it. Right on!
 
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