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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » So upset and angry- Vent!


05-09-2012, 06:07 PM   #1
Chell
 
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Location: Cambridge, United Kingdom

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So upset and angry- Vent!

I currently work in a really busy cafe, in a supermarket that supposedly treats its staff fantasically, is run well, and gives excellent management and bonuses.
We're always understaffed, and, despite the fact that my boss is well aware of my problems( who needs three weeks off in two months if they're not sick?)
I have been put in the heavy lifting duties, like collecting the trays from customers plates and cups, bringing them into the kitchen, and doung all of the washing, which involves hefting great indystrial washing trays around.
On tuesday, i was having the worst flare I have ever had. Two bus rides abd a half mile walk left me absolutely spent, i was shaking climbing the stairs.
So, i was doing my job, slowly, because it hurt to move, and I was shouted at for not keeping up by both my coworker and my boss.
I try to pick up the pace, byt end up in tears.
Later in, my boss calls me to his office, and lays into me about how lazy i am and how I'm not pulling my weight. I was so shocked! Im so upset about it, i basically feel worthless now
Thanks for letting me rant, if you got this far!
Chell
05-10-2012, 01:13 AM   #2
Rebecca85
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It might be worth sitting down with your boss and explaining EXACTLY what you are going through at the moment. Even though he is aware that you are iol, he might not realise that, even when well enough to attend, you still have fatigue and pain to deal with. Sometimes people think if we're not in bed, we're fine, and don't see the grey areas in between.

If you have no joy with that, then maybe you need to see your doctor who may be able to give you a fit note, detailing what needs to be put in place for you to attend (such as lighter duties, longer breaks, shorter hours), rather than having to go off sick again.

But you do have to wonder, if you have had that much time off, and are still struggling when you are at work, is it the right job for you? Are there any permanent adaptations that could be made under disability discrimination? (like maybe a trolley to take the trays to reduce the amount of carrying, being permanently put on different duties in the kitchen)

Or could you ask to be transferred to a different department in the supermarket? I am thinking maybe till work would be less heavy duties, and you would be able to sit down most of the time.
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05-10-2012, 06:00 AM   #3
Chell
 
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Thanks Rebecca, I have just sat down with him and explained everything. Very embarrassing, but it'll help in long run, I suppose. He was still a bit of a jerk, but I'm being moved to checkouts asap. Which I think will really help, at least until I can get everything sorted. I was also told someone in my cafe has Chrons, and that if she can do it, i could do. My response was that everyone's different. He just has to spoil things, grrr!
05-10-2012, 09:43 AM   #4
Rebecca85
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Here's hoping you get on better in your new position! (and presumably under s different boss?)
05-10-2012, 11:27 AM   #5
Chell
 
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Thanks! I will have a new manager, she's lovely, and very understanding, so I think I'll be okay now i just wonder how long asap is...
05-16-2012, 07:39 PM   #6
Snap
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Sorry about your troubles, Chell--glad you have a new manager now. Hang in there! Snap
05-16-2012, 10:34 PM   #7
Kelly2
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You need to let that "boss" know that just because someone else can do more than you, it is not a "bad" reflection on you at all. With all illnesses, you have mild, moderate and severe. Tell him there are people with MS that can play football and run around just fine - and others are confined to wheelchairs! They have the same illness! Is the one in the wheelchair just being "lazy"?? What an uneducated ignorant jerk! Im so sorry - dont allow him to make you feel bad in the slightest!
05-17-2012, 12:41 PM   #8
Chell
 
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Thanks Snap and Kelly So, it's been a week or so, and I've still not moved, and still being put on heavy duties despite the sitdown with my boss. I'm still no closer to a diagnosis, but I just can't deal with it anymore, I'm thinking of actually quitting due to the terrible management, but I suppose it'll be the same anywhere else?
Cry cryy.
05-17-2012, 01:09 PM   #9
anyone
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Oregon
Chell, I don't know how it is in your country but here we have FMLA, which is the family medical leave act. The act allows you to take time off because of a medical condition. If you have that, it might be worth it to take some time off and keep your job until you feel better. If anything, it might give you more time to talk things over with your boss.
05-17-2012, 01:14 PM   #10
Chell
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Thanks anyone, I don't think we have FMLA in the UK, though there is disability allowances, but I don't think I'm at that point yet. I think if it hasn't been dealt with by the end of next week, I'll get my doctor involved, with a letter. That should do the trick!
05-17-2012, 03:05 PM   #11
StarGirrrrl
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Please check out the Employees guide from the UK IBD charity: Click for pdf

DLA (which is meant for extra costs relating to disability) is very hard to get, if you can clean yourself and cook then you've no chance. Unless it's a severe case then anyone with IBD (or suspected) is likely to qualify for nothing, low rate care (20pw) in a few cases maybe. This tier of help is being abolished shortly anyway. The award is based on mobility and/or care needs, not what illness you have.

ESA, the "too sick to work" benefit is even harder to get once you get sent for your "medical". Appeals taking 1-2 years on low rate of benefit once the agency fails you at your medical which is basically a computer tick box exercise and replies noted quite differently to what was said or out of context. By someome who usually is not qualified (ie a physiotherapist judging someone with mental health illness).

In short, disability/illness benefits are not an easy route by any means now in the UK. Being genuine certainly is not enough.

Getting your Dr involved is a great idea.
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June 2014 admitted to Hospital 3 nights as emergency transfused 2 units of blood. Dangerous case of anaemia.
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05-17-2012, 04:59 PM   #12
Greasy Pete
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I feel your pain Chell, I have the exact fatigue you have. At my work, I'm the owner, I normally work side by side with my guys, but the past few months, having a flare up, I've missed lots of work and spend a lot of time behind a desk. Some days I feel like I can't move. So I get a lot of crap over it. My Ex wife used to get after me for being lazy too.....I think it's hard for people to really understand what's happening to us.
I hope you make out ok in your situation, good luck !
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