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06-04-2012, 01:19 AM   #1
meyert2333
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Depressed and Anxious

I just found this forum and I hope it helps me cope with things a little better then I have been. Here is my story over the past 8 months.
In early September of 2011, while attending my first semester of graduate school, I was hospitalized because of complications from Crohn's disease. After spending four days in the hospital with a nasogastric (NG) tube placed into my stomach, I was released. I returned to graduate school and to my work for a crisis call line in the area. However, despite my efforts at staying healthy, my symptoms grew worse and I made several trips to the Emergency Room and Urgent Care over the next few months. Toward the middle of October, I resigned from my job because of my illness and chose to focus my energy on grad school. But by the end of November, I was once again hospitalized because of chronic urinary tract infections (UTIs) and the Crohn's disease. I spent 18 days in the hospital this time, 16 of those days without food, and underwent surgery in an attempt to repair what surgeons thought was a fistule. As a result of this extensive hospital stay and the related medical procedures, I was forced to withdraw from graduate school. Unfortunately, the surgery did not correct the problem, so since December of 2011, I has undergone numerous tests to try to figure out the next course of action. At this point, the local medical personnel have decided to refer me to the University Hospital because they have never seen a case such as this and have no further ideas on how to treat my condition.

I am not sure what to do anymore because I had life together, finally!!! I was in remission and was attempting to go to grad school to become a counselor! Now, I have no job, lots of medical, student loans, and living with my parents!!! I have been seeing a counselor but I feel like I am suck in the mud or lost in the forest!! I am 28 years old and Pissed because I have to watch everyone enjoying their lives, while I am stuck dealing with this shitty disease I am tired of getting up and dusting myself time after time when I fall!!

I hope this makes sense, I am not the greatest writer in the world!!

Last edited by meyert2333; 06-04-2012 at 02:02 AM.
06-04-2012, 02:16 AM   #2
Cross-stitch gal
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First off, I want to welcome you to the forum There are a whole lot of wonderful people on here who you'll be able to meet and talk to. I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time right now. You are right though, this illness that we share does seem to go through it's ups and downs. Even though I will admit that my flares haven't been as extensive as yours, I too have been having quite the challenges. We're all here to support you. Just let us know.
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06-04-2012, 08:48 AM   #3
meyert2333
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Eau Claire, Wisconsin
I want to thank you for the warm welcome!! Here's my problem this morning though. I woke up in a super panic from a suicidal dream because of my crohns. It seems like crohns has effected now my sleep/dreams. Now, I am laying in bed with no motivation to leave. I just want quit!!!!

Again, I hope this make sense!!
06-04-2012, 10:12 AM   #4
Trysha
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Hi Meyer
Hang in there! it will get better, sometimes it is a matter of time.
I can resonate with what you are saying, but life is precious.
Have you talked to your doctors about your feelings, there is help available if you let them know.
I know we do a lot of waiting about for this appointment and that ----enough to get anyone down.
Do you like music, it can be very beneficial to run it in the background.Also mindful meditation helps.
See if you can make a point of getting up and getting out--- even a short walk can help.May be hard at first but give it a try.
When is your next appointment with the gI?
Hopefully it will be soon-- otherwise go to your personal care physician and ask for some help in coping with this pernicious disease.
Never give up and never give in is my motto.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha
06-04-2012, 03:18 PM   #5
FriendoftheKiwis
 
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Hello,

I am very sorry to hear all about your hospitalizations. Just got back from the ER yesterday. Although it is nothing compared to you. Just want to let you know you are not alone in this!

This forum is great for offering support. Something that my friends and family can't exactly offer because they simply can't imagine the pain that we go through. We are definitely all here for you. I'm glad I joined this and I'm glad you did too!
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06-07-2012, 08:12 AM   #6
meyert2333
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Eau Claire, Wisconsin
Thank you everyone for being supportive. Here's a question for all of you. Have any of you ever lacked confidence or lost confidence in work, school, or relationships because of crohns?
Update: feeling a bit better the last couple days!!!
06-07-2012, 11:17 AM   #7
Cross-stitch gal
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Not really, however I don't cry easily especially in front of other people. Ended up breaking down at work once from being in so much pain and discomfort and everything going on with me. On top of that, not getting anywhere with my doctors. Needless to say, that evening I was sent home early...
06-07-2012, 12:41 PM   #8
ThatsWhatSheSaid
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I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Sometimes I feel like nothing surprises me anymore with this disease, other times I am shocked at how frustrating it can be. I don't cry easily, especially in front of other people, but last Wednesday at work I was so overwhelmed with everything going on that I just started tearing up and couldn't help it. My issues aren't as bad as yours but I won't get into it here (mentioned in practically all of my other posts if you are interested). And actually although I am just an innately confident person, the disease can really get to me...

...and shift to 30 minutes later (I just left this open while taking my lunch) I pretty much just spent the whole half hour crying on the phone with the woman from Affinity because they want my monthly payments on my medical bills to go to $170/month. Which I can't afford. Especially being sick and missing work. Especially working two jobs to be able to pay my bills. And working two jobs effecting my stress and health and we're back to being sick and missing work. It's ugly sometimes. I'm sorry, I am less helpful than I meant to be. Just a little down right now. Which I suppose is good because the next way must be up then.
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