Much Ado About Nothing! eh!

looks like fun in the snow-
ours all melted

Muppet- we were told not to limit his diet either- we tried once- it made no differeence so Ds has no restrictions-
He only has to drink the prescribed number of peptamen jr.

GI's no longer recommend what you were told to do as a child-
Have you discussed the restrictions with your daughter's GI.:hug:

Our GI in Hartford thought diet restrictions were useless. Our GI in Boston doesn't agree and I will tell you that in my 30 years of first hand experience, it makes a HUGE difference for me and seems to allow the meds to do their thing. I would fire any GI that claimed diet wasn't relevant to IBD and never look back.

Jmrogers4 said:

Desky - should have known you would go there funny non the less. Dusty - Sorry for the set up

Click to expand...

No worries, things are hot and moist at present. :biggrin:

Anyway, since when have Dex and cinct ever been backward in coming forward! Don't be apologising for their baggage! :ylol2:

Diet modification seemed to help immensely the first time...and not make a speck of difference the second! At this point she is so good I even let her have popcorn...but I couldn't find any trigger foods regardless.
...and Dex and cict *giggle* you weren't the only ones lol!

Go on you lot, bring it on! I may blush...:redface:...but I won't wither away!...:lol:

I guess discretion sometimes is the best part of valor…

Blush!! I doubt it!

:eek2::eek2:

I really should go back further when I am trying to catch up with you guys! My mind wandered too dexky and cinct! Sorry Dusty!


Food never made a huge difference in controlling anything. There are some pain triggering foods though and I can definitely tell about foods by the gas :stinks:

In my opinion, "trigger" foods are hard to discern readily. "Trigger" is sort of a misnomer as, at least for me, there are VERY few foods that will cause me problems close enough to when I've eaten them for me to readily associate the two. It was only through long elimination, and gradual reintroduction, that I was able to figure out a lot of foods that might sometimes bother me, and even then it usually takes more than just one portion on one day.

I know it's so strange that everyone is so different in their responce to IBD. For Ryan, one meal of beef, raw spinach or a hot dog is immediately painful. Alot of the rest is just guesswork. Too much dairy or bread...all cause gas. Oh the joy of trial and error!

Tried fodmap for 6 weeks and were very strict with it and still can't figure out what causes the pain.

Time for some laughs.......:ylol:

You know your a parent to an IBD'er when.................................

You both use the same arthritis rub.

When your hubby goes to use the lou but first he ask his 4 yr old girl if she need to go because he's not coming out for awhile.:yfrown:

You heard your child burp and pray theirs nothing behind it!:shifty-t:

Thanks farmwife, I could use some laughs

when the doctor tells your son to have a milkshake with breakfast every morning and to make sure you use real ice cream for the extra calories, so you sneak in a 1/2 bottle of ensure when he is not looking

Jmrogers4 said:

Thanks farmwife, I could use some laughs

when the doctor tells your son to have a milkshake with breakfast every morning and to make sure you use real ice cream for the extra calories, so you sneak in a 1/2 bottle of ensure when he is not looking

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:ylol::ylol::ylol: I dreamed about that as a kid!



When the doctor tells you to put sugar on her frosted flakes.:rosette2:

...when you wish you were married to a plumber because the potty is stopped up daily!!!

.......your child uses her n-g tube as a fishing pole in the tub!

... when your non-crohns child mentions any unusual BM in passing and says 'cuz I know you always want to know...'

....your girl shouts through the bathroom door, CAN YOU HEAR ME KNOW!

:stinks::stinks::stinks::stinks::stinks:When your lovely sweet little girl is slowly killing everyone in the household with her farts. Paint peeling off walls,plants dying and I can see a mushroom cloud of toxic gas hovering over the house.:stinks::stinks::stinks::stinks::stinks:

:rof:

:ylol::ylol::ylol:

When your hubby enters the room doing a happy dance because he created a new way to hide a can of Ensure and it was ingested successfully!

CarolinAlaska said:

When your hubby enters the room doing a happy dance because he created a new way to hide a can of Ensure and it was ingested successfully!

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:thumright::ylol::thumleft:

yep, been there and make sure you put the evidence at the bottom of the trash

Maybe that could be a new thread idea, sneaky ways to hide Ensure. My kid seems to have a sixth sense about it. I swear she knows the minute I have opened the can.
And she is at school. Haha

You know your a parent of an IBD'er when,
.......your child is in the middle of the grocery isle and says, I need to go poo poo and you instantly you reason with in your head....

1 amount of time to get home,
2 the miles per hour you can legally do,
3 the weather conditions,
4 the need of food,
5 what food are the closest to get,
6 what you can live with out for this trip

:heart:All this so your princess can sit on her throne in peace and your glad your not stuck in a public restroom wishing they had a chair.:heart:

... when your Crohnie comes out of the bathroom and says 'wow, that was a really good poo!' and you get a happy, warm and fuzzy feeling!

OK, time for some laughs. Of course on the selfish side this is to make Farmwife laugh!
Time for funny "clean" jokes.

Please share some of your "clean" jokes!:heart:

Now when I state "clean" I mean Farmwife "clean". Not crohnsinct "clean"....that would involve wine and service men, not Dusty "clean"..I shutter to think what she'll come up with.:ack: Not QueeenGothel "clean".....It would probably involve torture tools. Same goes for the rest of ya!


Here's mine.....


Q-What did the pirate say when he got a heart attack?
A-Arr me hearties!:ybiggrin:


A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down; I'll fit you in... You'll just have to be a little patient."


Q: What did one Illinois prison inmate say to the other?
A: "The food was better when you were Governor.":biggrin:


A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news".
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live."
That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.":ywow:

Too funny!!!

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh!

(The only clean joke I can remember!)

http://www.butlerwebs.com/jokes/toilet3.htm

Clean poop jokes
Including types of poop

Enjoy:ack:

Can you have clean poop jokes? :ybiggrin:

Fingers crossed that my roof doesn't collapse in the rain today. There's a 4 foot drift up there on the gabled portion that I hope will just slide off when it gets heavy. My roof rake was seized up and couldn't extend to full length on Saturday and after 8-9 hours of clearing I'm wiped anyway. There's nowhere to put a ladder really and anyway I'm afraid of heights.

I cleared as much of the porch roof as I could, which was nearly all of it. That's the flattest section and the most likely to be damaged. The rest should be OK. Fingers crossed.

fingers and toes crossed Muppet ! Good luck !

Watching the news over the weekend and thinking about all of you back east. Hope you dig out soon with no damage.

There are snowbanks on the interstates the size of several houses, blocking lanes and half of most bridges. The snow can't be pushed off without closing (and then reclearing) the road below, but they need shovels and dump trucks to take it away, there's nowhere to put it.

Lanes suddenly end on the highway with no warning (except in on or two places where there are orange cones flattened into the side of the bank by multiple collisions), and today there's freezing rain.

This has caused about 80% of all drivers to slow down a bit. The remaining 20% seem to be trying to demonstrate their abject stupidity and or contempt for all life.

The surface streets aren't any better. Intersections are in new places based on plow trails, visibility at EVERY intersection is ZERO because of high snow banks, and NOBODY is slowing down even a little to compensate.

In the next town over, several streets are one lane that must accommodate traffic in both directions, but people don't bother to look down the road before taking off down the gap, so multiple times I've had to sit there giving a stern look to a stupefied intellectual mutant staring at me and wondering why I don't drive up on a bank and go around them. Since I checked, I don't back up. They can back up.

Let me guess if it is anything like here - some big ol 4 wheel drive SUV. Hey buddy that may get you out of the ditch but it ain't gonna stop you from sliding in.
We had the same thing here a couple of weeks ago big snow storm followed by freezing rain. By the time hubby reached work after spending 1/2 scraping off 4 inches of frozen rain there was 2 inches re-frozen on windshield. He called and told me not to leave the house until rain had stopped.

Yuck sounds thorougly horrible. I've never managed to find any redemining featuring in snow, my husband and sons who like to ski disagree but I think they'd change their minds very rapidly if they had to deal with that.

This is something I used to see on the news. Now it's in Connecticut. No global climate change my butt.

I'm guessing I'm safe from the snow as long as we stay on the Arabian Peninsular (not that I have a clue how long that will be for). There is climate change here too but mostly of the hotter dryer variety.

Farmwife.... is this considered clean??


When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

:kiss::ylol2::ylol2::rof::rof:

:ywow:Well????????? Did he ever find out how much to charge for Howard???????:shifty-t:




:rof:

You thinking of renting out hubby??

Tesscorm said:

You thinking of renting out hubby??

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NOPE!

Bills aren't that tight, yet!:wink:

:lol: At least you know you have options...

Sorry I suck at being around again lately. Storm stuff, kid stuff, home stuff... I only have so much head space and I'm easily distracted.

STORM! I live on a pretty major road and on a corner so needless to say the plows dump all the intersection snow in my driveway. REALLY?!! They couldn't mound it up 5 feet further down? Took us a day to get from our house (had to climb out the window because we couldn't open the doors - they open out)to the end of the driveway. Another day to clear the end of the driveway and the cars. Today all day to do the sidewalk and the mound at the end of the street so the kiddies can cross the street...although doubt cars would see thtem behind the huge piles.

Anyway, if school doesn't open tomorrow I am storming town hall and Iwant you all at my trial!

Muppet: how is the job situation? Are they done with lay offs?

Hubby's birthday was yesterday...guess what he got...NO! Besides that! A snowblower...so romantic!

Ohh I so shouldn't go there but...... blower someone has to fill on for Dusty.

My mind must be in the gutter with you Jmrogers4, because I was thinking the same thing!

:rof::rof::rof:

That is NOT a clean joke! You guys need help!

Actually FW .... you're the minority here !
Maybe you should jump on our band wagon...majority rules and we know how to have some fun ! LOL

Well if you wanna help O.K. if you are into that kinda thing!

Ha..Crohn's Mom.......
majority does NOT rule on my farm the one holding the pitch fork does!!!!

At least our (country) kind of fun doesn't end us up in jail (most of the time)or some kind of regretful tattoo!!!!!

Now I'd love to debate country vs farm (which I would win) but hubby is home and has to be fed. Good old country values!!!!! Now where did I put those hot pockets?????

:rof: :rof: now you're really going to throw FW into a tizzy!

But I was going to suggest, with all the snow FW got, being stuck in the house and all... Maybe Farmhusband would like a blower too!!! Birthday or not... Just the nicest thing for hubby on a cold winter day!

Tess we have TRACTORS...you should be jealous!!!!:biggrin:

O.K. but my hubby may take offense that we are discussing this all on the "Much Ado About Nothin" thread

Um yeah..O.K. FW...I am in the burbs and got 3 feet of snow and couldn't leave my house for 2 days (Ban on driving and busy digging out and all), then school closed for three days...I am thinking the city looks pretty good to me about now! Landlords shovel sidewalks and restaurants deliver 24/7! Heck, even the liquor stores deliver...and yes if you all must know I was calling hubby begging him to get home before the storm....cuz I was out of wine and he passe liquor store on the way home!

Hmmm!!! Who's riding the tractor?!?

Well now I have heard of blowers, I have heard of trains but Tractors? Care to elaborate FW?

crohnsinct said:

and yes if you all must know I was calling hubby begging him to get home before the storm....cuz I was out of wine and he passe liquor store on the way home!

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Your love story is that of legends!

Farmwife said:

Now I'd love to debate country vs farm (which I would win) but hubby is home and has to be fed. Good old country values!!!!! Now where did I put those hot pockets?????

Click to expand...

City hubbies pick up dinner from one of the 5,000 restaurants they pass on the way home. 1 Point City!

:ylol2::ylol2: What did I start, well I guess CIC started it but I took it there

What the hell are you ladies up to 'round here??

crohnsinct said:

Well now I have heard of blowers, I have heard of trains but Tractors? Care to elaborate FW?

Click to expand...

City girls can never fully understand.....anything, in general!:ack:

They know how to open doors with just a smile.

:rof: :rof: LMFAO!!!!!!!!! :rof: :rof:

Oh so you heard I met him when he was a bouncer at a club and was kicking me out.....second time we were on a stuck elavator and he had a pizza...hey a girl's gotta eat!

Well I must have the best of both worlds here, you can ride your tractor right up to the Applebees on the corner and the liquor store is on the other corner. We don't have a snowblower but the neighbor does although we do have a leaf blower

Dexky said:

They know how to open doors with just a smile.

Click to expand...

Are you talking city girls or the National Guard?!?

Who mentioned the Guard?

City girls just seem to find out early,
how to open doors with just a smile.

You know The Eagles!!

Oh hell - y'all can borrow my hubby - he's a "wine guy" ! It's what he does for a living - you'll never run dry even in snow storms ! LOL

Jmrogers4 said:

Well I must have the best of both worlds here, you can ride your tractor right up to the Applebees on the corner

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COOL!:biggrin:

Dexky said:

Who mentioned the Guard?

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Who else! CIC!!! National Guards came to rescue her!

Crohn's Mom said:

Oh hell - y'all can borrow my hubby - he's a "wine guy" ! It's what he does for a living - you'll never run dry even in snow storms ! LOL

Click to expand...

crohnsinct stop pm'ing T to get a date with her hubby!!!!

Interesting news story here today about a Tavern celebrating it's 50th anniversary - bar laws have changed over the years - to quote the press release "Women were not allowed, and all patrons had to be seated. "

http://www2.gnb.ca/content/gnb/en/news/news_release.2013.02.0116.html

Tesscorm said:

Who else! CIC!!! National Guards came to rescue her!

Click to expand...

This is moving so fast, I can't tell who is lol'ing at whom!!

CIC, here I am taking my valium, hiding in the basement waiting for the next severe weather event, looking up Dr. Forbes TORCON eval on weather.com and you are up there partying with the Guard...something seems askew!

Crohn's Mom said:

Oh hell - y'all can borrow my hubby - he's a "wine guy" ! It's what he does for a living - you'll never run dry even in snow storms ! LOL

Click to expand...

Throw in a pizza and I will take you up on that offer!

Ashamed to say it was my business too (up until August) but found my cellar empty more than I care to admit!

Tesscorm said:

Who else! CIC!!! National Guards came to rescue her!

Click to expand...

Twice! Love those boys!

LOL Cic - I hear ya there !

hawkeye said:

Interesting news story here today about a Tavern celebrating it's 50th anniversary - bar laws have changed over the years - to quote the press release "Women were not allowed, and all patrons had to be seated. "

http://www2.gnb.ca/content/gnb/en/news/news_release.2013.02.0116.html

Click to expand...

What about poles? Could I hang on my pole? Could I be let in if I was on my pole?

We are SO much worse than the "last one wins" thread! LOL

Why would anyone go to a bar if there weren't any women there??

Three pages of banter - just what I needed. Thanks everyone. Now I'm heading home from work with a grin...

crohnsinct said:

Muppet: how is the job situation? Are they done with lay offs?

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They're not really doing layoffs, just a lot of reassignments and uncertainty. Right now I pretty much don't have a boss and won't until September or later. It's a little unnerving.

I grew up on a farm but am definitely a city girl at heart, I can cope with camping holidays but I love having things close, ideally within walking distance as I get bad migraines and won't drive if my head is playing up.

I've got a travelling spouse (away ~80% of the time), IT consulting seriously sucks. Useful for getting him to pick up duty free alchol but for daily errands it mostly comes down to having to do it myself.

Maree. said:

I've got a travelling spouse (away ~80% of the time), IT consulting seriously sucks. Useful for getting him to pick up duty free alchol

Click to expand...

Yay another city girl and she speaks my language! My hubby travelled a while ago and have to saythe perk is one less person to pick up after...I know I know...they should be doing it themselves!

I don't let him bring his washing home either. If he has consecative weeks in the same city, I insist he's only allowed to bring hand luggage home and generally encourage him to come home once a fortnight for 3-4 days as once the travel time is included coming home each weekend, is just disruptive without him being home for worthwhile chunks of time.

Clean jokes for FW :yoshijumpjoy::

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter and supply a new definition:

And the winners are .........

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words:


And the winners are......

1. Coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.): Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp...

8. Gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.): A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.): A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Tess, those are awesome.

crohnsinct said:

City hubbies pick up dinner from one of the 5,000 restaurants they pass on the way home. 1 Point City!

Click to expand...

Let me set the record strait crohnsinct!!!!

You can get takeout on the farm too.

Want streak??? Point to the cow and we'll make it happen!

What milk?????? Hand me a clean jug and I'll make that happen too.


Benefits of my takeout?

1-Good clean country air when ya go to get it!:medal1:

2-Ya don't get robbed going to and........from!

Tess except for the swear word those we're funny!:ybiggrin: Thanks

What swear word?!?!?! I didn't see one and, skimming it now, I still don't see one!!! :lol:

That I can't recognize one... what does that say about my language??? WTFFF!!! :facepalm:

Number 2. Us pure minded country folks pick up on that stuff faster!

But "anus" isn't a swearword on here.:ytongue:

Yeah that -I even let ds use that one

That's a term of endearment on a trading desk! :kiss: followed by as.....!