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09-12-2008, 08:38 AM   #1
Babe123
 
crappy day

im having a really crappy day today

i cant eat... all day ive eaten 4 small cookies and 1 biscut

my mum is gerrin angry at me for not eating but how do i make her see im not choosing to be like this. i want to eat

i feel so sick, light headed, sore tummy and i keep going hot and cold and my hands are clammy

x
09-12-2008, 08:49 AM   #2
Isla
 
I am not sure you will be able to. You may be in a stalemate with her. Hope you start feeling better soon thogh!
09-12-2008, 09:52 AM   #3
Creepy Lurker
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I hate feeling like that. If you try to force yourself, you just end up throwing it all back up,

Have you pointed out any of the comments on here? Sometimes it really is impossible for us to eat, despite what your crappy GI says
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09-12-2008, 09:55 AM   #4
Babe123
 
wel.. my mum has just had a go at me saying its all in my head and that only i can sort my self outand that im either anorexic or bullemic and that she has no sympathy for me. i do not want sympathy from her alls i want is to get better.

she doesnt understad that if i am not hungry i cannot force my self to eat if my body doesnt want me to

my GI really is crap.

i hate my self today

x
09-12-2008, 03:23 PM   #5
mrs. vr
 
Babe, I'm really sorry you're going through all this. From a mom's perspective (and not to defend your mom, just to give you a different point of view), your mother is probably scared out of her mind, and worried sick about you. She just doesn't know what else to do.

We have a 12 year old son who has appetite issues because of a medication he takes. He NEEDS this medicine (believe me, if he didn't, we'd yank him right off), but he has a hard time gaining weight, and he's not growing at as quick a rate as he/we'd like him to. Now, part of it is genetics. His dad is and always has been very skinny, but our son used to be the tallest of his friends, and he's now one of the shortest.

Believe me when I tell you, it upsets us as parents. He has ZERO appetite most of the day, but he has to eat to grow and be healthy. We have to basically beg, bribe, fuss, hover, threaten, etc all day every day to get him to eat. He FEELS full, but he's NOT, so if he forces himself, he can do it, but it's a struggle.

The doctor told him several months ago if he didn't gain three pounds in three months he would HAVE to take him off his meds. That scared him enough to get in gear for awhile, but he just got braces this week, so we've had another setback.

As a mom, I can tell you, it's very very difficult to watch your child suffer, and sometimes I think we react in ways that can make it worse.

Let me ask you this, if your doctors thought you had anorexia or bulimia, wouldn't they be suggesting you go into a treatment program? Maybe you could point that out to her.

I know everyone is different, and I don't know you or your mom, so obviously I don't know where she's coming from, just where *I* come from, but maybe this will be a perspective you haven't thought of.

Best of luck.
09-12-2008, 03:39 PM   #6
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Unfortunately, the loss of appetite is not something you really have any control over. I remember when I was 16 I could hardly eat a tiny slice of bread, I was on liquids mostly and lost a dangerous amount of weight. And I got a lot of hassle for it. My dad just thought I needed to "pull myself together". Maybe he was really worried, but his reaction to the worry was to get angry and that just didn't help.
I also think when you're that young... unless you're naturally assertive you just don't have the wherewithal to get your point across... you're used to doing what your parents say, and if you feel really crappy you just haven't got any fight in you.
Sounds a bit trite, but try not to hate yourself... when you're feeling that crappy it's hard to imagine what it's like to feel well again, or at least halfway normal... but you will.
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09-12-2008, 04:28 PM   #7
Babe123
 
i know my mum is worried sick about me. she suffers with depresison and gets ill her self whne i am ill. so i dont like upsetting her. my dad is worried aswell. i think they are trying to get me to eat by being like this but it just wont work because i get upset and then loose my apptite even more.

i cant afford to loose any more weight... im only 7stne 7 now.

i am open to seeing a counsellor.. if it would help me then i will do it. my doctor should have sent me to a cousnellor when i was 13 but he must have forgotten.

i eat as much as i can when im feeling ok.. an anorexic or bullemic wouldnt do that. my mum said if i dont pull my self together shes going to send me somewhere where they will make me eat until im better. yeh i would have thought that the docs woul dhave aswell. all of my symptoms at forst pointed to me being pregnant and none of htem suggested that ( im not pregant lol) i wish that my mum would understand that if i could eat i would. i love food.. ive always been a big eater.. ther was a time when i could eat 10 huge choccy bars in one go... i canteven stomach a choccy bar now.

when i next see the consultant im going to demand them do something. i wont takeno for an answer.. this has been going on long enough and i cant afford for college to suffer

i dont like upsetting my mum and i feel like me being ill is letting her down

xx
09-12-2008, 04:34 PM   #8
mrs. vr
 
Sweetie, you're not letting her down, she probably feels like she's letting YOU down. I wish I could give transatlantic hugs *hug* I think you're absolutely right, and they need to do more than they're doing. The fact that you realize there is a problem and WANT to fix it is a very very good step in the right direction. I'm rooting for you.
09-12-2008, 04:40 PM   #9
Babe123
 
thank you.. i like hugs

i dont like being ill. i stayed in college all day today feeling so ill.. but at last class i couldnt stay in any more. its true though.. no one can understand how it feels unlesss they go through it themselves. when my friend ( who has crohns) was ill all the time in school i was wondring what all the fuss was about (sounds nasty.. but you honestly dont realis ehow bad it is unless you go through it) and now im having it i udnerstand how she must have felt.

if im not feeling better by monday im calling the doctors first thing and telling them to fix me or im not going anywhere

x
09-12-2008, 05:22 PM   #10
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I'm so sorry you had a bad day! Your mom should really try to be more understanding of your situation. It's not fair to you that she keeps writing off your illness. I know it kills any parent to see their child unhealthy, but to deny that it's a real problem is just...

Is there any way that you can find a new doctor? The one you have seems like a real jerk. You need someone who will take you seriously and give you the treatment you need!

Hang in there and stay strong.
09-12-2008, 10:24 PM   #11
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Babe, Did you try any vitamins, lik ya know regular over the counter to help with nutrition for now.

Depending on how bad your inflamation is you may be to swollen in the gut to een allow your body to feel hungry.

*HUGS* *HUGS*
09-13-2008, 02:36 AM   #12
Babe123
 
my stomach is very sore.. and i get a few sharp and dull pains. a mixture of both.

ive got multi vitimins but i dont take them often. i always forget lol

my doctor is very good.. my consultant isnt. if i saw the consultant who they keep saying i will see then he would listen becasue he saw how bad i was in hospital. but they keep sending me to the person he works with and he doesnt understand me at all. becasue the tests have come back clear he ses theres no problem. but there quite clearly is otherwise i wouldnt be feeling like this.

has anyone else had the problem of tests coming back clear but stilll being quite ill? but consultants/ doctors not taking any notice?
x
09-13-2008, 08:35 AM   #13
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Laura... in the UK now we have this "patient choice" thing... you can see whoever you want, wherever you want... I've done it myself with my "other disease". If your GP is good, then go and see him/her... maybe go with your mother if you want to include her and help stop the worrying. You should be able to specify whichever consultant you want to see (even in another town, if you're prepared to travel) and your GP can refer you. If you have any problem, get in touch with your PCT. The "bad" consultant you are seeing may be really good for other people, but he obviously doesn't suit you. You WILL get it under control eventually, but better sooner rather than later. Good luck!
09-13-2008, 10:16 AM   #14
RHOV
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I don't think I understand the difference between a consultant and a doctor. Is that a UK thing? Laura-- Is there any way that you could switch consultants? Or let your doctor know that you are being prevented from the care/medication that you need? there should be some way for you to see your doctor. You're pretty much being oppressed from all directions. Keep bugging them with phone calls and whatnot until they give you what you want. They can't deny you the healthcare you need.

It doesn't sound like you have a very strong support system at home (sorry to be blunt), but everyone on this forum is on your side! I know hoe much it helps to have people there supporting you when you are ill. I don't know how I would have dealt with things without my parents! You have definitely proved that you are strong.

What kind of tests did you get that came back negative? If I remember correctly, I don't think you have gotten a CD diagnosis yet. Maybe it isn't IBD. It sounds like it is, but Crohn's is hard to diagnose, so maybe they've been looking in the wrong place.

My fingers and toes are crossed for you!
09-13-2008, 10:26 AM   #15
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Consultant is a UK thing... he/she is the specialist you see at the hospital, as opposed to the GP (General Practitioner) who is your family doctor.
09-13-2008, 10:28 AM   #16
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Okay, I get it... Thanks!

Babe-- Can your family doctor refer you to a different consultant? I know you're waiting to see one who's supposed to be good, but I think you should be seeing SOMEONE and that someone should not be your current consultant.
09-13-2008, 12:19 PM   #17
Creepy Lurker
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Yup, the consultant is the GI.

I've heard of the 'Book and Choose' system. Are you allowed to go outside of the boundary of the local trust?
09-14-2008, 04:17 AM   #18
Babe123
 
im notsure... whenever we get the letter through to say we are going to see the consultant it always says Dr Bohen ( who is the good consultant ) so im never sure who im going to see cos sometimes he is in and sometimes he isnt.

ive had a barium meal, colonoscopy, endoscopy (which i didnt tolerate apparently even though i was sedated), varius scans/ xrays. and all it showed was a narrowing of my illiuem.

but they did the barium meal / colonoscopy when i was feeling well so could this make a difference?

yeh i wish they would support me more. they all keep teliing me that when i feel sick not to think about it cos it makes it worse.. which i know it does but its hard not to thin k about ti when you feel that nauseaus ya cant stop heaving. now ive got full time college its making it harder cos some of my class rooms are no where near the toilets so i get paniked incase i really have to go.. cos ill have no chance
x

Last edited by Babe123; 09-14-2008 at 04:19 AM.
09-14-2008, 08:07 AM   #19
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Creepy Lurker said:
Yup, the consultant is the GI.

I've heard of the 'Book and Choose' system. Are you allowed to go outside of the boundary of the local trust?
Yes! I live in Huddersfield and I've been to see consultants in Sheffield and Barnsley.

Personally, I think it's worth phoning Dr Bohen's secretary and asking to make sure you see him next time.
09-14-2008, 05:07 PM   #20
Babe123
 
i will do that then. Dr Bohen is a brilliant GI and made sure i got everything i needed in hospital. i will get my mum to ring his secretary and ask them.. my mum makes sure everythink gets done.. people dont seem to listen to me the way they do my mum
x
09-14-2008, 08:48 PM   #21
Creepy Lurker
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Babe123 said:
i will do that then. Dr Bohen is a brilliant GI and made sure i got everything i needed in hospital. i will get my mum to ring his secretary and ask them.. my mum makes sure everythink gets done.. people dont seem to listen to me the way they do my mum
x
Lol. That sound like a stealth version of 'She's pushy!'
09-14-2008, 11:04 PM   #22
ladyB
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Babe, depending on the severity and the damage to your intesines, it won't matter if you are doing good or bad.
There wil be scar tissue and other signs of once active CD.
09-15-2008, 09:53 AM   #23
Babe123
 
Creepy Lurker said:
Lol. That sound like a stealth version of 'She's pushy!'

haha she gets her own way alot of the time
x
09-15-2008, 09:54 AM   #24
Babe123
 
ahh right. im due to see the consultant in a few weeks.. will see what he has to day. ill give that other one one more chance ( cos im in a good mood today) but if he dares suggest its in my head ill flip a gasket and tell him iw ant to make a complaint about him.


x
09-15-2008, 09:44 PM   #25
RHOV
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Babe123 said:
ahh right. im due to see the consultant in a few weeks.. will see what he has to day. ill give that other one one more chance ( cos im in a good mood today) but if he dares suggest its in my head ill flip a gasket and tell him iw ant to make a complaint about him.


x

Even if he DOES cooperate, you should complain anyway! He doesn't deserve a million chances. Good luck getting the docs to help you. Hopefully you'll be on the road to recover very soon!
09-16-2008, 12:25 AM   #26
Babe123
 
hopefully

im sick and tired of being.. wel sick and tired

x
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