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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Mental Health Support » Sorry to ask but I need a few kind words.


08-29-2012, 09:41 AM   #1
b1ackmai1er
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: perth, Western Australia, Australia
Sorry to ask but I need a few kind words.

Hello fellow sufferers.

I was hoping someone may be around to offer some kind words of encouragement.

This has been the worst year of my life. I have had my second resection and it went really bad. A year later I feel I am half the man I used to be.

Today I separated from my wife and son and I am broken hearted.

I have no-one to reach out too. I am just so sad and filled with despair.



2
08-29-2012, 02:16 PM   #2
Beach bum
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Wow , you are really going through it.
It is so sad to hear you have no one to reach out to, that really is the worst feeling in the world.
I have been there and I found it helpful to remember that bad things have happened in the past and I got over them .. the phrase "This too shall pass " might be corny but you get what I mean , I hope.

I am so sorry to hear about your separation from you wife , but does that really have to mean a separation from your son ?
I know many parents who do not live with their children but still have very active roles in their day to day lives. Trying to be there for him may help to take your mind off everything else.

Anyway I hope "this too will pass" for you and that you start to feel better soon.
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08-30-2012, 05:58 AM   #3
b1ackmai1er
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: perth, Western Australia, Australia
Hi thank you!

I was very very sad yesterday. Morning came and I forced myself back to work and i am feeling better now.

Working hard on staying positive and am going to enjoy spending as much time as I can with my son.

Thanks again.


2
08-30-2012, 08:29 AM   #4
farmerswifey
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Hey from a fellow Aussie, I'm sorry you are having a rough time, I hope things improve for you....I'm having a bad day too, actually a bad night, and I know that tomorrow is another day to be positive....I suppose it's really one day at a time.....

xx
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08-30-2012, 08:36 AM   #5
Samboi
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You poor fella.
Hang in there.
Trite - but it will get better with time.
On all fronts.
It can be very bleak when a relationship breaks down, and you have a chronic illness on top of that. Smart to reach out for support though - that takes a lot of courage - so good on you. Vulnerability and strength - all at once.
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08-30-2012, 08:44 AM   #6
ellie
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Hi from another Aussie
Really feel for you - sounds like you're going through a really difficult time..
With a bit of working around the issues, you can probably arrange to have regular interaction with your son.. Do you have any family/friends/work buddies, maybe a church/social group who can help you a bit?
Hang in there - as an earlier post said, " this too shall pass"!


HD
08-30-2012, 02:05 PM   #7
Amanda D
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We are intrepid, we carry on
08-31-2012, 10:10 AM   #8
b1ackmai1er
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: perth, Western Australia, Australia
Hi guys,

Thank you.. I am feeling much better again today. I guess for people like us, life is going to be a roller coaster ride of hope and despair.

Most of the time we call upon our innate inner strength but sometimes we come up being short and are overwhelmed.

Today my work colleague was retrenched. I know it was pure fate that it wasn't me - it would have cost them a lot more - so I have a lot to be faithful for.

My father committed suicide and sometimes I am draw to that dark solution. I am lucky to have such a beautiful son and I could never cause him the pain that I have endureded. As such, he is my saviour but the allure of the ultimate solution to the pain never goes away.

I am not a religious person but I pray that he is spared of chrohnes

It is I great to hear from some Aussies but sad that this disease has no boundaries.

Please pm me in your time of need. . Thank you.

09-13-2012, 09:39 AM   #9
Gra
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Hello fellow sufferers.

I was hoping someone may be around to offer some kind words of encouragement.

This has been the worst year of my life. I have had my second resection and it went really bad. A year later I feel I am half the man I used to be.

Today I separated from my wife and son and I am broken hearted.

I have no-one to reach out too. I am just so sad and filled with despair.

2
Hi B1ackmai1er, I just came across this post. This is so sad. A terrible thing, your wife separating you from your son. And so recently too....

My heart goes out to you. My wife at least had the decency to wait till after our last child left home before she left.

Gra
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ABOUT: male, 66 yo, DX CD Terminal Ileum, 1-May-2012
MEDS-PREVIOUS: Prednisone: 6 months, stopped 19 Dec 2012. Imuran: bad reaction.
Humira: 5th Oct 2012 till July 2013. Worked well for me.
SURGERY: 6 Aug 2013: Ileostomy, Temporary stoma.
29 Oct 2013: takedown.
23 Jan 2015: in remission - my goal is to stay there.

"What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!"
09-14-2012, 05:53 PM   #10
Crohnos01
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Dang... That's a bummer. Not to pry and defintely tell me to go climb a rope if you want, but do you know if your wife left because of your disease or were there other problems? Maybe you can work on the other problems if they are there?

A good friend of mine who has all his life been an workout-aholic was married and had a son. He didn't realize it at the time, but all of his workout sessions saved his life. Turns out he has a genetic defect with his heart and over the last 10 years had 4 heart attacks. The docs told him flat out that if he hadn't been in as good of shape as his is, he would be dead by now. Shortly after his second heart attack, his wife left him and took his son. It was a nasty divorce and custody battle. Finally, they ended up with joint custody and things settled down. Low and behold a few years after that, his now ex-wife contracted MS and is now confined to a wheel chair... Now she has a different perspective on him and his health issues....unfortunately too late.

I have a wife who left me early on in our relationship and after 13 months, realized that even with the disease, she wanted to be with me more than anyone else, so we ended up back together again and have been that way for 27 years.

Hang in there... Even if things look bleak today, you never know what tomorrow may bring. The important thing is to remember you are a worthwhile person and you always have friends here.
01-03-2013, 04:38 PM   #11
hannah-rose
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Sending positive thoughts your way. Have you looked into getting any counselling or support for how you're feeling? For the things you have suffered through I'm sure you would be eligible and it sounds like this isn't something you should be dealing with alone.
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01-05-2013, 08:20 AM   #12
acheallova
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Hi black,
My heart goes out to you for your mental anguish. Women can be so fickle, conceded, selfish and not understanding sometimes. It's very important to stay in contact with someone for support and encouragement, even if it is just the forum right now. We are great, as we all understand/relate and will always listen. So glad days have been brighter for you! I do hope you get time with your son and your spouse comes to her senses. This is tough enough to tackle with loved ones around, let alone by yourself.
This may sound odd, but, have you spoke with your wife on how you feel- the disease, effects, difficulties? Sometimes this behavior comes from lack of education. If she doesn't fully understand, she may be running from the " problem" as her way of coping. If you are on good speaking terms with her, you might suggest couples therapy. Is might help her adjust and accept. Hope all goes well with you. Life has a funny way of guiding us in odd directions, but we always manage to find the right path again. Best wishes and luck to you! -hugs-
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01-07-2013, 01:13 AM   #13
LisaL
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I just wanted to add my support to all the others. I hope that you continue to feel better, both physically and emotionally. I would encourage you to find some other support, from a licensed therapist of one sort, who can help you deal with your feelings related to your separation from your wife and son, as well as your physical symptoms. I am glad that you don't have any desire to harm yourself, but I know that those thoughts can be very distressing. Please don't let yourself get that down.

I hope you are doing better today,
Lisa
01-07-2013, 05:13 PM   #14
acheallova
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Just checking in with ya black....
Hope everything has turned around and is looking up! Best wishes to you!! -hugs-
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