An introduction from Jonhenry

I'm Jon. I'm not new to Chrons or IBD but new to talking to people like this about it. I was diagnosed at 17, after really bad bouts of diarrhea.

Back then it wasn't horrible. I took meds, I think some of the first were like atropine and stuff, the prednisode didn't come until later. I could get my as normal most of the time. I got to party some have a teenage life, travel. I have always carried a messenger bag full of all my "tools". It's been funny to get the looks from airport security when they go through there and wonder why you're carrying 12 prescriptions and all kinds of things for your ass. Anyway, I got by, mostly through enjoying everyday irony and art.

Had fun for a few years with only a few ER trips, no hospitalizations, pretty stable weight, just those few short weeks or sudden attacks that were bad, but far enough apart.

Hit my mid 20's, everything falls apart. None of the meds are working anymore. Really bloody flare-ups. Me hating the medical community and not trusting anybody, all kinds of crazy stupid stuff, alot of which I kinda feel better about after reading what other people have gone through on these boards.

So, 24/25, actually just 2007/2008 have physically and mentally been the worst years of my life. I'm out of work, out of insurance, out of money, family & relationship hell. I had 4 er visits in 3 weeks, refused hospitalization because I still hate the hospitals here and sometimes honestly (probably mental thing here) think they're trying to kill me. Also the bills, I've ran up over 30,000 since May. I had CT scans, ANOTHER damn scope & biopsy, pathology bills, meds, you all know what I mean. Flare-ups worse than ever. Usually I can feel them coming and know what triggers it. It's all changing, it's all in the air. I have kept mood diaries and journals forever, nothings following a pattern. I feel crazy, I feel like my body is giving out on me. I have no strength. I've lost my savings, probably my lover, my independence, my career (only for now hopefully), and am back at home living with mom & dad after being out since I was 16/17, and it isn't a very friendly environment.

So...that's kinda my story so far in brief format.

Jon

Jon,
Your story is heart felt. Your honesty deserves a medal of bravery. Life can be so cruel at times. Try to find that one moment in the day that you smile, and your soul's set free just for a minute. Hold on to that feeling for dear life ! My home life gets to me sometimes, and I find it relaxing to walk. Ill go on a walk for 3 hours. What I get from it is priceless, the fresh breeze, the sunshine on my face, the birds going about their dayily routine, thats the moment for me. I too am sick to death with this life of agony, always evaluating where the bathroom is, trying to be pleasent around others when cramps floor me, sitting in a crowded movie theater, and my stomach sounds like a toilet flushing. :ymad:
Sorry im off track in a tanjent. Find your way back into art sounds like thats what relaxes you. Find your inner peace, and life will reward you.
Ill give you something personal for two reasons 1. Your bravery with your opening post. 2. My life is a open book.
I was 14, on a family trip to Adams NY (MBH) from DC 8 hours in the car. I had'nt been diagnosed yet ! I was vomiting every 20 min. Sometimes before my father could pull the car over, you can imagine the mess. Here's the kicker my dad at that time had the patients of a piss ant with an Irish temper. Everytime I would mess the car he would pull over and rage on me. Ill never forgive him for being so hard on me. Life delt me a &hitty hand why did he feel the need to add to my greif. Im now 37, and my pop has settled alot. Overall things are good now.:ycool:

Keep your head up. Things in life always seem to have a way of working themselves out. Eliminate the stress (its a killer). Welcome to DB my friend.:ybiggrin: