ranting
I hate my bathroom tile floor. I hate how my back and legs get sore when I'm stuck there for a while. I hate when I have to puke in the trash can because the cramps are making me sick. I hate being in that room in general anymore.
I hate people when people bang on public bathroom doors when you're in the middle of getting your insides pulled out by a fire-poker. You want to tell them to ****off and at the same time wonder if they need to be where you are just as bad so ya try to get yourself up and somewhere more comfortable before you have to pull out your clean-up kit and go through that routine.
I hate that routine. I hate making sure I know I at least have what I might need in a pinch on or near me at all times (when I'm not at home actually).
I hate taking sometimes over 20 pills a day. I hate even more explaning to people, especially when ya get pulled over and they look through your bag, why you're on all these damn things anyway.
Most of all I'm sick of myself for the million times I knew I was going to end up paying for the things I wanted to do, the meds I took to let me do these things, and the pain I ended up going through so I could try to have fun with my "friends" to try to feel like I wasn't excluded from all the fun because I have a disease.
I could go on and on, but that felt pretty good to let out.
I hate my bathroom tile floor. I hate how my back and legs get sore when I'm stuck there for a while. I hate when I have to puke in the trash can because the cramps are making me sick. I hate being in that room in general anymore.
I hate people when people bang on public bathroom doors when you're in the middle of getting your insides pulled out by a fire-poker. You want to tell them to ****off and at the same time wonder if they need to be where you are just as bad so ya try to get yourself up and somewhere more comfortable before you have to pull out your clean-up kit and go through that routine.
I hate that routine. I hate making sure I know I at least have what I might need in a pinch on or near me at all times (when I'm not at home actually).
I hate taking sometimes over 20 pills a day. I hate even more explaning to people, especially when ya get pulled over and they look through your bag, why you're on all these damn things anyway.
Most of all I'm sick of myself for the million times I knew I was going to end up paying for the things I wanted to do, the meds I took to let me do these things, and the pain I ended up going through so I could try to have fun with my "friends" to try to feel like I wasn't excluded from all the fun because I have a disease.
I could go on and on, but that felt pretty good to let out.
