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Crohn's Disease Forum » Your Story » Crohn's and anger


10-28-2012, 12:38 AM   #1
Lola55
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Peterborough, Ontario
Crohn's and anger

I came to this forum by way of google. My partner of 15 years has Crohn's and has become depressed and angry. It seemed that no matter what I did, it was not sufficient. At one time in our lives, I was the oracle of wisdom. Now it seem that every thing that I am was subject to derision and ridicule. When his rage and insults were exposed to my grandchildren, I left the relationship. I know this rage is not who he is as a person. I am reading that there is a relationship between Crohn's and Depression. Is there a relationship between Crohn's and anger? Since I left I've been able to get him to get on anti-depressants and also get counselling. I love him, I worry about him but I know that unless he gets this anger under control, I cannot live with him. And yet I know that isolation is not good for him, either. Any suggestions?
10-28-2012, 08:17 PM   #2
SarahBear
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Hello! I'm sorry to hear you've had such a difficult time with your partner.

I think anger can often be related to depression. Also, I see how there could very well be a link between anger issues and Crohn's - it's extremely unfair, and a very difficult thing to deal with. It can be hard to watch other people going about their lives while trying to cope with an illness. Some people end up feeling resentful, or like they're an inconvenience. This could cause them to push others away.

Have you offered to go to counseling with him? Since his anger ended your relationship (and it sounds like you really want to be together), it might help if you two could work through the issues and how they affect you. So far, have the anti-depressants and counseling seemed to help him?

Is he under treatment for his Crohn's? Is he currently having a lot of symptoms?

I really hope you two can get through this!
10-28-2012, 08:29 PM   #3
Mountaingem
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Maybe it's a side effect of his medication. Do you know what meds he was on when his personality changed? I turn into a rage monster on prednisone-I'll even isolate myself and tell my family to please stay away from me. Pain drugs can also have a similar effect.

The upheaval of crohnic illness also makes depression a very real issue as well, and men tend to get angry with it. Of course you want to be understanding but there is a limit, naturally too. So sorry you're going through this!
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10-28-2012, 08:57 PM   #4
tots
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Depression and anger can go hand in hand.

And lets face it....its depressing to have a chronic illness. IBD especially- people cant see
it and dont understand it. Heck- "we" have a hard time understanding it.

I hope your partner can get some help for that soon. I did and I feel so much better


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Ok, my family Dr told me to cut down on the stress- a husband, 3 kids, and 3 dogs!
10-29-2012, 11:29 AM   #5
David
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While I don't have Crohn's, I have another form of IBD and let me tell you, I struggle with anger at times. The key is finding healthy outlets for it so that I don't take it out on others and so I don't bottle it up as well. My punching bag is getting pretty worn...

As others said, it could be side effects of the medication, due to vitamin/mineral deficiencies (get his vitamin B12, vitamin D, and magnesium levels tested), just plain due to the emotional toll of this disease, or even more likely, a combination.

In the end, it's NOT something you or he should live with. Take the steps necessary to remedy the situation. Counseling, tests, changes in treatment, etc.

I wish you all the best!
10-31-2012, 08:05 PM   #6
orangeleprechaun28
 
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For me personally, I can definitely tell that I'm more cranky/angry when I'm not feeling well(currently in a flare). I have found it could be for any particular reason (lack of sleep, lack of food/nutrients, stuff doesn't seem to go my way). I'm sure they're all related in one way or another. I just wanted to say that I've noticed how anger can be part of this stupid disease. I wish everyone the best and hope it works out for all.

Last edited by orangeleprechaun28; 11-05-2012 at 07:18 PM.
10-31-2012, 10:48 PM   #7
wildbill_52280
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try essential fatty acids, as our brains are 60% fat, many derived directly from efa's. canola and corn oil i find are very good sources, nuts may be better, but depending on the severity of the disease, they may not digest nuts at all, so corn oil and canola oil are good for someone who cannot digest nuts.
essential fatty acids are polyunsaturated fatty acids alpha-linolenic(omega-3) and linoleic acid(omega 6). my own anger issues became better once i started getting closer to my RDI in EFA's. The average adult needs about 1.7 grams omega 3, and 19 grams omega 6.
I take half the RDI, as i find if i go any higher, it actually leads to more depression, i believe that is because in active disease state, or possibly even inactive, we produce more free radicals then the typical person, then these fats tend to become oxidized, this is something you will have to test to prove to yourself. ingesting more antioxidants may counteract higher intakes of polyunsaturated fats.

Then try taking a b12 supplement, as crohns typically involves the ileum and severely interferes with not only its absorption, but in maintaining those levels. we have a much higher requirement for b12 then normal people. i need to replenish mine every other day, i find that none of it is stored and i quickly become depleted and feel low energy after a few days. adenosyl cobalamin is stored better then methylcobalamin, i take about methylcobalamin every other day and adenosylcobalamin every 4 days. but perhaps its easier to start out with cyanocobalamin, as your body can convert it into either form as needed, but i prefer the preformed and i divide them into ratios that agree with my body. our body requires both forms methylcobalamin and adenosylcobalamin, there is a third form called hydroxycobalamin, these are all the forms in meat/fish/seafood. cyanocobalamin is a synthetic form, which can be converted in the human body.

magnesium is also another major mineral involved in depression, and is frequently depleted in crohns disease, i take magnesium citrate daily, it takes away 50% of my depression within hours. but since i take it daily, the lows arent really low at all!!!


those are probably the most likely dietary issues someone with crohn's may have, depending on the severity of course.
12-04-2012, 08:30 PM   #8
orangeleprechaun28
 
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@wildbill - Thanks for the advice on the Omega 3 and 6. I recently started taking an omega 3,6,9 supplement. Although it could be something else, I'm feeling better (mentally) and I'm leaning towards thinking its the Omega 3,6,9 supplement.
12-04-2012, 11:41 PM   #9
tots
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I just started B12. It's helping me feel a little happier.


Lauren
12-05-2012, 12:27 AM   #10
afidz
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Hello!
I';m sorry to hear that this disease has impacted your life in such a bad way. Everything I was going to ask you as already been asked so I will just wait until you respond. Is he happy with his counselor? I don't know what kind of counselor he has but there are counselors out there that specifically deal with people that have chronic conditions. Does he know about this forum? There is bound to be someone on here with a similar story and ofcourse we are all ready to listen.
I hope you guys can sort out your relationship
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12-05-2012, 12:50 AM   #11
acheallova
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Along with counseling, is there any support groups near where you live? This could be a wonderful resource for him to " talk" about it. I know i was angry for a long time, still am mostly i have to admit. This forum has helped me with tremendous support and offers an outstanding outlet for me. Best of luck. Hope it works itself out. - hugs-
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