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Third abscess drained - feeling frustrated, depressed, and disgusting

This is my first post, although I have been an observer for a while! The information on this website has been priceless, and just being able to read others stories definitely brings a sense of comfort.

My trouble with abscesses starts about two years ago when I was in pain for days, I thought I had somehow sprained my butt working out (how I even thought that was possible, I don't know) or was having some kind of muscle spasm. I could feel a huge hard area covering almost half of my left butt cheek and the pain was just unbearable. Worst thing I have ever felt, I was almost in tears every day. Then when I started to notice a horrible smell when I went to the bathroom, I finally went to the ER. They debated whether they should drain it right there in the room, or put me under GA in the operating room.

It was one of the most mortifying experiences of my life. I was at UCSD which is a medical school as well, so I had interns and young, good looking med students poking and prodding at my behind, saying things like "do you smell that pungent liquid coming from her anus? That is why I think it's a fistula."

They admitted me, put me under, drained and packed the abscess and kept me over night. The relief was immediate but recovery was terrible. The next day the nurse pulled out the 6 feet of packing like it was nothing and I yelped in pain and started crying. They gave me some pads for my underwear and sent me on my way. It healed in about 5 weeks, but it was unfomfortable to sit and walk, and every 5 steps or so the wound would get rubbed the wrong way and I would have to hold back tears. I didn't tell anyone. The guy I was seeing at the time broke up with me shortly after the surgery because is was being irritable for seemingly no reason and refused to be intimate with him.

A few weeks ago when I felt an abscess coming back, I prayed it was anything but. This time the lump wasn't visible but I could feel it, and it was on the side of my labia and not close to my anus. I went to urgente care right away because I knew what it was. At first they thought it was a bartholins gland cyst because of the location, but when they did an anal exam they realized it was in fact an anal abscess and was really deep. They also said the abscess seemed sebaceous (which they explained meant the "pus" was more of a waxy substance and may not be able to be drained). I had a bunch of different doctors look at me, and try to decide who should operate - the general surgeons or the OBGYN's because of how close it was to my vagina.

They again admitted me to the hospital, the surgeons operated on me while I was under and packed the wound. I should have known right away that something wasn't right because when I woke up, I did not feel much more relief than when I went in there. I thought it might have been the packing, maybe there was so much in there that I was feeling the pressure. The doctors didn't come see me while I was in recovery or in my room waiting for discharge, just sent me home with instructions to remove the packing in 12 hours and with a prescription for Vicodin and stool softners.

The wound healed FAST, in less than two weeks it was a very shallow incision that was left. I could feel hard tissue around the area of the incision that seemed to be about the size of a tootsie roll, but looked it up online and thought it might be scar tissue. There was no drainage at all, none. My first abscess it drained a lot at first, and then very minimally until it healed. With this there was literally no drainage, just a little blood the first day or two from the surgery.

Then I am at work, and just start feeling sick and in pain down there. I go to the bathroom and feel around, and sure enough the abscess is back. I go to bed with plans on going to urgent care in the morning, and when I wake up the abscess has moved and grown - the incision was in the middle of the first abscess, and now it was at the very bottom of a huge abscess that was close to my skin, and the size of my first. I was horrified. It looked like it was about to burst. I took a cab to urgent care, and about 9 hours later they finally put me into surgery.

They told me that the abscess healed too quickly, and that it never had a chance to drain. This time they drain the abscess a little deeper, and instruct me to loosely pack it myself everyday to keep it open. They also put me on omoxicilin and suggest I see a specialist for Crohn's disease in a few weeks because it's "not normal" for a seemingly healthy young person to have these reoccurrences. They also gave me a sitz bath, they didn't give me one of those before.

I am here to vent, so I want to apologize in advance if I come across as being melodramatic. I am so freakin upset, just furious. The first time they operated on me, why wouldn't they go deep enough to drain the abscess completely? And why wouldn't they tell me to keep it open, or to sit in a sitz bath everyday? This is my vagina, it's an incredibly sensitive and private area. The scar is crooked and long, I feel like they just butchered me down there. I know that is an extreme exaggeration but it's just how I feel. Why didn't they put me in antibiotics to avoid infection? They just cut me open, told me to "keep it clean" and expected everything to go okay?

And now here I am, having to go through another month of recovery and packing a big hole in my vagina everyday. It looks just awful down there. I can't imagine even after its healed I'll be comfortable letting anyone I'm intimate with looking at it. It looks stretched out on one side, there is an ugly scar, and that hard tissue is still there.

And I'm just in tears because they can't give me any answers as to why this keeps happening or how I can prevent it. I know that even if I do every thing I am supposed to, it could come back in 6th months.

I'm sorry this post didn't really have a point and was longer than I planned, I just needed to vent and I haven't told anyone what I have been going through. I feel depressed and sad, and I just wish this whole ordeal would be over.
 
Hi Tinals. I hope you don't mind, but I've copied your initial post here into Your Story, as suggested by some of the other members over in the Fistulas etc forum. This way you might reach a wider audience and get a few more answers.
 

David

Co-Founder
Location
Naples, Florida
Oh TinaIs, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this :( You poor thing. :(

*hugs*

You are NOT being melodramatic. What you're going through is terrible and traumatic. It's ok to feel how you're feeling.

Have you been referred to a gastroenterologist yet?

Do you have ANY symptoms besides the abscesses? Rashes, gut pain, diarrhea or constipation, eye problems, etc? Anything out of the ordinary?
 
Hi Tinals,

I don't think you're being melodramatic at all! Your situation has been awful and you have every right to feel the way that you do.

We put our trust in doctors to make us better and it is INFURIATING when you don't get the care that you deserve. All of your questions are totally legitimate. I can't believe they discharged you from the hospital without an opportunity to speak to the doctor! That's just outrageous.

As for the teaching hospital, I am not sure how comfortable you would feel saying so, but you can tell them you don't want students looking at you. That comment made me so mad! If I had been there I would have said something like "it is very rude to talk about someone as if they were not right there in front of you. What is wrong with you?! is bedside manner not included in your curriculum!?" and then stare them down.

From your story, it sounds like you would really benefit from some centralized care - a GI specialist who knows you and will ensure your care is continuous. Don't be afraid to shop around until you find someone you like. It makes all of the difference in the world when you feel heard, respected, and cared for. You deserve nothing less than that.

I just want to let you know that I am thinking about you and hoping for the best. Let us know how you are doing and don't hesistate to vent as much as necessary!!
 
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