Benson's ranting

[BWS1982]

Was going to post this in the "hate thread" but then figured it'd get lost or not widely read...I saw (and have heard 'girl talk' in public unintentionally) my umpteenth occurrence of claim or innuendo on the web (not here) about how simple guys are, and it doesn't help that some guys will jokingly (or genuinely?) concur with these with a bold "YEEAHH!!!". So yes, I'm ranting!

NOT ALL GUYS ARE ABOUT:

1. Sex

2. Beer

3. Sports

4. Sleep

5. Food

I'd be a chauvinist pig if I stereotyped ALL women into shoe-loving, hormonal, emotional train wrecks good for only one thing (I'll stop there), and guess what, it'd be offensive and incorrect too.

I'm a male. I have deep, convoluted thoughts and sentiments. I'm complex, and even I'm still learning things about myself. I write poetry, read philosophy, ponder on the universe, and yearn for eternal life with one woman. I hate beer and alcohol, I virtually always think of sex as making love, and I know how to balance the remaining items on the list, which, by the way are mostly essential components to survival, mind you....

The damnation of my predecessors or peers haunts me relentlessly....but diamonds are found in the rough.

Don't lump me in because perhaps you're frustrated with your poor choices in men, or some tool cheated on you after 8 months because HE got bored. I really have no clue where you got the idea, but it's there, and prevalent. I'm more complicated than that, and I have morals, AND EMOTIONS, and to demonstrate it, I'll profess my hurt that I am grouped into such a simpleminded category of brainless "He-Men," who take you for granted or treat you like objects, and obsess about beer and football. I will give any woman the credit she deserves for evolving from generations past. For fighting forever to shoot for equality, for not being the same woman that was commanded like a remote control 10,000 years ago. I'm not perfect, but please, please, give me the benefit of doubt to think that maybe I'm not that same caveman, in return....


You women don't really talk amongst yourselves and think of all guys like this....................do you?

[merrywidow]

benson, men and woman are diffrent we think and do things differently to men.
sharon xx

[My Butt Hurts]

Originally Posted by BWS1982

You women don't really talk amongst yourselves and think of all guys like this....................do you?

I don't know any women who just sit around and bash men as a whole just for the fun of it. There are some guys who absolutely suck as human beings, but that goes the same for women. You can't try and represent your whole gender, Benson - you can just be who you are and hope that's the best for YOUR relationship. Of course we don't think that ALL guys suck.
There are a lot of stupid people out there. I try to stay away from them.
Sorry I have to do this, but I think my husband's order is a bit different -
1 sex
2 sports
3 sex
4 sex and sports
5 food
6 sex
7sports and sex
8 sleep
9 sex in sleep
10 beer
11 beer and sex
I'm not SURE about that - I will ask him...

[dayng1016]

I personally don't sit around and talk about or bash guys and don't hang around anyone that does. Yes, there are some stupid people out there that do, maybe because they have nothing better to do with there time. I know there are really great guys out there that will treat there girlfriend or wife with the respect and dignity they deserve, and I must say my husband is one of them. Everything he does he does for me, he always puts me first. He is not one of those that has to have sex, that is not something our relationship is based on. And for him, he does not like to think of it as having sex, for us it is always making love. Having sex seems more like a one time deal or doing it just to do it. My husband is not a sports person, he does not and will not sit and watch ANY sport, he thinks they're pointless. In my eyes, my husband is truly the greatest person, and treats me the way I want and should be treated.

Benson, I don't personally know you but just from the way you speak/write on here you are not like one of those guys. Just be who you are and if your girlfriend loves you for you, then that should be all that matters. Unfortunately, you can not change the way other people are.

[GoJohnnyGo]

You forgot

Tools
Toys
Things that go fast.

[Agent X20]

... and gee-tars!

[DanSJVDavis]

This very thing is why I have blogs...that I'm sure a rare and lucky few actually read, and I agree with ya wholeheartedly. I've heard that m'self from time to time. Just another form of stereotype. It's just like saying all blacks take drugs and rob people or all Asians have small attributes and can't drive or all blondes are blithering idiots or all white people are beer swilling trailer trash that get everything handed to them cause they're the majority. All you can do is continue to lead by example and hope the gossip-mongers start to catch on.

I'm the same way. Hate beer, think sports is a waste of my time that can be better served doing constructive things, and only sleep when I need to ( ). Now, the sex part and food part may be a bit different. I'm not all Homer Simpson, "can't talk, eating," but I am a cook, so it's a bit of a passion of mine. And honestly, my wife is more likely to initiate sex first, which is not to say that I haven't done my share of initiating, and we call it whatever we want depending on our mood. For us the differences in the words are more roleplaying than any real difference in meaning.

[MINI Cooper]

Originally Posted by kimberlie

Benson, the ignorance of a woman who talks like that is insulting to us woman who have brains.

Exactly!

I've had my share of 'I hate all men' moments in the past, I will admit it.
But it's all the crappy ones out there that make the good ones that much
more special And that goes for women too!

Oh, and I get really annoyed with the women who complain they can't find
a good guy and the only place they look are in bars and clubs.
I may as well go to a garbage dump and complain that I can't find anything
but old junk.

[BWS1982]

I must flesh that out a bit, as I was angry, sorry. I'm not saying all women think that, the question at the end I posed was a rhetorical one, I know many women are NOT like that, my gf and virtually all the frequent ones here who've been very supportive of me have shown they are not in any such mindset. My gf isn't the one who thought this either, I overheard a conversation in a store when I was reading a box of medicine, then on the web I saw a male bash-fest somewhere, but I actually saw a comic for the 3rd time do nothing more than one of those "Ladies, men are simple, this is all you need to know: Food, sex, beer"...so I will admit right here, that my fellow guys are very much guilty for not only perpetuating the stereotype vocally, but also by example. There are plenty of a-holes out there, I've had run-in's with them plenty of times in 26 years. They infuriate me, and I wish I could take away their right to represent me to people who are yet to know me.

I love my "toys" and gadgets and all too, particularly electronics, computers and games, but I found the perfect woman for me. She is always asking if we can play some cooperative game on my PS3 or wants to watch some action or horror or thriller movie (our first movie in theaters 4 years ago was Blade 3, but yes, she still likes those "Legends of the Fall/Brokeback Mountain" chick flicks).... I found a match that means we do all that stuff together when I'm too unhealthy to go for walks or go to the gym together. And I am a bit of a food lover too, but again, I go in tandem with my gf's interests, we cook together, or try a new place together, etc....And I do also put my sex drive behind my gf's feelings, so that it isn't a 'demand.' The fact of the matter is, almost all my interests make my gf my best friend and my mate for life.

By the way, I love playing sports and I'm very much an athlete (my signature shows this), but the only one I'll sit and watch is either the Bulls or Bears, and that's around maybe 10 times a year, and most of them my gf wants to watch too (Bears games). I'm a very active person when I'm not flaring, and basketball is a pastime of mine, though. The important thing is, I balance my interests, I won't go to the gym if my gf needs something, but then again, I plan ahead well enough to go when she won't and that has never really happened or been an issue. I can prioritize so that these things are never an issue, which I know some guys are incapable of.

I realize many women don't see things that way, though, and I am grateful for that, but sometimes I feel they are nowhere to be found because their presence is overwhelmed by the drowning voices of bitter, naive ones who "just don't get it"...

There are bad apples from every tree, we all have to remember that, and then remember that that doesn't mean the tree or orchard is bad.

I'm glad you gals have found some good apples, and guys, I know you're good guys, I know you well enough to know you are messing around.

[drew_wymore]

Originally Posted by BWS1982

hormonal, emotional train wrecks

If they aren't then where do you find them? I haven't found any yet =(

Present web company excluded of course ...

[My Butt Hurts]

Originally Posted by drew_wymore

If they aren't then where do you find them? I haven't found any yet =(

Present web company excluded of course ...

Well I'm emotional and hormonal, but far from a train wreck.
(iiiiif you're interested )

[My Butt Hurts]

Originally Posted by drew_wymore

If they aren't then where do you find them?

Where? New York.

(Damn! I couldn't decide which answer I wanted to post, so I had to post both of them.)

[RHOV]

i'll refrain from going too far into voicing my opinion, but suffice to say that i pretty much agree with you all that not all men fit the stereotype, and not all women do either.

what i really want to say is that i rather like the phrase "shoe-loving, hormonal, emotional train wrecks." i'm filing it away for future use.

[MINI Cooper]

Wait, I can still love shoes, right?

[Sparky]

As others have said, I don't do man-bashing in a serious way either. I'm the only woman in my office - there's me and 7 guys. They refer to me (jokingly!) as 'the dizzy blonde', they will ask (again, jokingly) if I have PMT when I'm cross about something, and they all play up to the male stereotype of thinking of women only as sex objects - but it's purely for fun. They'll also call me to ask for help with a work problem, they all refer to me as the Excel whiz, and they are in awe of my ability to get things done. The stereotypes that we joke about are just that - stereotypes. They don't believe I'm a "shoe-loving, hormonal, emotional train wreck" any more than I believe they're all beer swilling, sex obsessed pigs

My husband has many layers. There's the layer that thinks about nothing but sex, food, gadgets and Manchester United. There also the kind, loving, thoughtful considerate layers, the layers that make me laugh till I cry, the layers that make him a fantastic dad to our son, etc.

There will always be those who choose to believe that all men are simple souls who think about nothing but sex, food and sports - then there are the rest of us

[BWS1982]

The most frustrating part is I feel this odd sensation to go off on a crusade to prove every single one of those "other women" wrong, it's like a burden I shouldn't have, it's hard to let it be and just be above it and keep being myself.