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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender » How to ask an acquaintance out online?


04-05-2013, 05:18 PM   #1
nogutsnoglory
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How to ask an acquaintance out online?

So there is this guy who I met two years ago when he dated this acquaintance friend of mine. I REALLY liked him looks and personality wise but couldn't make a move since he was taken. We did become Facebook friends. I haven't talked to him since but learned they recently broke up. I'm not concerned with my pseudo friend being mad since we barely have anything to do with each other and apparently my friend broke up with him because he wasn't the one in love.

How do I without being an awkward stalker just pop in and ask him out on Facebook?

I sent a message saying what's up but have no clue how to handle this. I'm so nervous but this is my chance.
04-05-2013, 05:51 PM   #2
bigtruck
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Just go for it, pm him on Facebook and ask does he fancy meeting up, nothing ventured nothing gained.
04-05-2013, 05:53 PM   #3
Josephine
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I agree with Truck.
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04-05-2013, 06:53 PM   #4
Cross-stitch gal
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If you're nervous about asking for an actual date...

Could ask to meet up for coffee or something just to get to know each other first.
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04-05-2013, 07:15 PM   #5
2thFairy
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Your "what's up" message on FB was a great starter. Go for it!
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04-05-2013, 07:36 PM   #6
nogutsnoglory
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I'm so nervous I feel like puking. I just don't want to be weird and out of nowhere having not communicated just ask him out. When he responds to what's up I need to figure a reason for messaging. Shortly after ill ask him out for something casual like coffee.
04-05-2013, 07:46 PM   #7
Kev
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I am the absolute worst person I know to take 'dating' advice from.. but if it were me, I'd message something along these lines.. 'Sorry to hear you N X are split. If there is anything I can do... want to talk.. let me know' You have expressed concern, an offer to help, and it is low key. If that doesn't get the response you hoped for.. next message. "Well, I think X is a fool.. you're great". Again, no committal, nothing too overt. Just you trying to bolster someone who is down. If they don't get the hint... well, sometimes men are totally oblivious. I know. I happen to play one on here.. ;-)
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04-05-2013, 07:46 PM   #8
nogutsnoglory
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So facebook says he saw my message. No reply
04-05-2013, 09:16 PM   #9
bigtruck
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Keep calm give him a chance to think things through, slowly slowly catchy monkey!
04-05-2013, 09:20 PM   #10
nogutsnoglory
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I know I know he may just have seen it and intend to respond later. It's not a major thing to respond to though so I am not hopeful.
04-05-2013, 10:54 PM   #11
Jennifer
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Why not Skype first before asking him out instead? Get to chatting and get to know each other better might help break the ice.
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04-05-2013, 11:12 PM   #12
nogutsnoglory
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Well we have already hung out, it's just been a while ago. I do think Skype is a good idea though pre any date set up through an online dating site. It helps to make sure the person is who they say they are and there is some chemistry before meeting for coffee or a drink.
04-05-2013, 11:13 PM   #13
nogutsnoglory
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I am the absolute worst person I know to take 'dating' advice from.. but if it were me, I'd message something along these lines.. 'Sorry to hear you N X are split. If there is anything I can do... want to talk.. let me know' You have expressed concern, an offer to help, and it is low key. If that doesn't get the response you hoped for.. next message. "Well, I think X is a fool.. you're great". Again, no committal, nothing too overt. Just you trying to bolster someone who is down. If they don't get the hint... well, sometimes men are totally oblivious. I know. I happen to play one on here.. ;-)
I like that way of approaching it. If it was in person I definitely would. Online is a little trickier.

Thanks for everyone's feedback.
04-06-2013, 03:19 AM   #14
Kev
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Well, in the few months I have tried online dating... webcam/Skype may not be the way to go. I was... convinced.. persuaded.. to try it by a couple of women that I had chatted with online. Apparently... there are exhibitionists (I've heard from others that it occurs in both genders) who.. post an intro.. phoney of course.. start a conversation.. suggest the webcam thingy... then without being requested to... show off their various 'assets'.

In your case, it is different. This is someone you know. But, to anyone else who thinks it is a good alternative with a 'blind' date online.. you may end up wanting to claw your eyes out. Mind you, some exhibitionists are better than others. ;-) Just a caution, OK
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