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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Mental Health Support » Just needing some advice.


04-24-2013, 03:00 PM   #1
MissBG
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Just needing some advice.

I am in need of some adviceÖ not sure where to start this though so I am sorry if this gets a little jumbled up and confusing.

Over the past year I have had a pretty rough time. I was extremely sick for the past 2 years, I wonít go into too many details but I was diagnosed with Crohnís in March of 2012 and still havenít quite been able to cope with the fact that I will deal with this for the rest of my life and there is a possibility that it could be passed on to my kids. Before the diagnosis I had been depressed for sometime although had just told myself that I was just a little down and if I could just pull myself out of it I would be fine. Since then I have been trying to blame the increasing depression on the fact that my disease interferes with the way my body absorbs the vitamins and nutrients in the food I eat and that was why I am always tired and down. While I am sure that is part of it, that doesnít fully explain it. I believe when you are driving home from work and casually think about driving off a bridge like itís no big deal it goes far beyond being tired and a little down. While I know I would never do that now because of my family I do have a history of suicide attempts and have in the past been on medication for depression and adult diagnosed ADD.

Recently my temper has been extremely short and I seem to blow up at any little thingÖ my husband has ďjokinglyĒ made the comment more than once that I need to go to anger management. He mentioned it again the other night, he said I know you think I am joking but I am not. I told him it wouldnít do any good because I know what they will say and he wonít like it. See my husband has a very big problem with all the anti-depression medication and things like that. He believes that people today are over medicated because they tell their doctor they are depressed, the doctor hands them a prescription and sends them on their way because they donít want to deal with the deeper issue of what is really making them feel this way. While I do believe that sometimes that is the case I donít fully agree with his stance on the medications. He has said before that he doesnít want to have to wonder if I am smiling because I am happy or if itís because I am doped up.
Please understand I know how this sounds and I promise he isnít as big a jerk as this makes it sound. He is dead set against this type of medication unless the doctor can provide a blood test showing that there is a chemical imbalance that needs the medication. Unfortunately from what I have seen they donít run tests like thatÖ they have done research to identify the disease but donít have a specific lab test they can run to show the problem.

I guess my point is that I donít know what to do hereÖ how do I get the help I need without disregarding his feeling on the issue? What do I do here?

Thanks for the advice and again please don't get angry and tell me that my hubby is an ass... he really is a great guy who has taken great care of me through all this.
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Diagnosed March 13, 2012
Current meds:
Humira
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Non-Crohn's meds:
Synthroid 75mcg
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Dulera
04-24-2013, 03:32 PM   #2
CLCH87
 
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Maybe have him go with you to the doctor's appointment so the doctor can explain the benefits of the medication to him. My husband is very concerned about what medications I take as well so he does a lot of research and goes to the appointments with me-he also comes with me because it's a lot to keep track of with so many meds good luck!
04-24-2013, 04:34 PM   #3
amrycrohns
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Have you had all you Vitamins and Minerals checked that if low can cause these problems? Vit. D is linked to depression for example, anemia to feeling exhausted and down. It might not be a bad idea to see a Anger or Stress management specialist since we know stress can cause additional problems with Crohn's. I personally would try everything in the book before I turned to medicine to include exercise, yoga, or other mood enhancing techniques.

I agree with your husband that people are over medicated now a days especially children. I am also reasonable enough to know that in some instance's these medicine's may be necessary.
04-24-2013, 05:17 PM   #4
Cat-a-Tonic
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I would just like to concur with what amrycrohns said about exercise. I've been through depression with this illness too and I've had similar suicidal thoughts in the past, and though I would never act on them, they were persistent and awful. When I started working out regularly, those thoughts stopped. I feel so much brighter, happier, more human when I exercise regularly. I no longer cry all the time and I deal with stress so much better. It's made a huge difference for me. If you're able to, I would suggest you try some gentle exercise like yoga or short walks.

I really feel for you and can relate to so much of what you wrote. I hope that however you accomplish it, with exercise or therapy or medication or whatever, that you can feel happier soon.
04-25-2013, 07:42 AM   #5
MissBG
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Thanks everyone! I agree I think alot of people are just medicating to avoid the problems but I don't think it is every case. He has such a strong opinion on this subject that really it is one that I choose to avoid with him most of the time.

Cat-a-tonic I have a beginners yoga DVD at home I might have to try... I have intended to start exercising so many times I lost count but it just seems like a struggle to drag myself out of bed in the morning to go to work and then come home, try to take care of 2 kids and get some house work done... by the time I get the kids in bed I am wiped out.
04-25-2013, 08:44 AM   #6
lizbeth
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Hello MissBG, welcome to the forum

I'm glad you came to share your story with us. I personally have never had depression but my sister and a couple of others close to me have. I know what a debilitating illness it can be . I am really sorry that you are having this experience and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away for you...

I noticed that you are on synthyroid, and wondered if you had your thyroid checked recently, (I know that depression and extreme tiredness can be a symptoms) my sister also has hypothyroidism and I know when to suggest she gets hers checked when I notice that she is feeling more down. She has difficulty with thoughts and often goes to bed hoping she won't wake up in the morning Within the last year she has taken up exercise and a change in diet and I have noticed a change in her mood. The exercise did seem to be something that worked for her.....

I do hope that soon you find something that can alleviate your symptoms and in a way in which your lovely husband will feel comfortable with. Best wishes and lots of hugs..
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04-25-2013, 10:04 AM   #7
MissBG
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Thanks lizbeth! It is actually coming up on that time of year to have it checked... maybe that is part of the issue. I actually have no doubt that I could benifit from exercise in more way than one but its just hard to take that step and make myself start it.

Thank you all for your support! I know I don't post around here much but I read every day and seeing the strength you all have in dealing with all this gives me hope and helps me keep going.
04-25-2013, 12:26 PM   #8
lizbeth
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I know it is really hard to start to exercise, I did it last year in an attempt to control my diabetes, I can't afford to go to a gym so I looked around on the internet for a cheap dvd, got one for around £2, it took me a while before I plucked up the courage to do it, in fact the first time I watched it with my daughter while having a glass of wine!.....I do realize this was probably not the correct method of exercising. lol. I started small and in the privacy of my own home, with the curtains closed in case the postman saw me , no-one was allowed in the room either I actually really enjoyed it once I got going and it did work for my diabetes, then I became unwell and was diagnosed with Crohns and haven't done exercise since. I really should but am too tired most of the time. I should practice what I preach and start small again I did it once so should be able to do it again.......but not just yet

Keep your chin up and take care.
04-25-2013, 12:49 PM   #9
MissBG
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I know it is really hard to start to exercise, I did it last year in an attempt to control my diabetes, I can't afford to go to a gym so I looked around on the internet for a cheap dvd, got one for around £2, it took me a while before I plucked up the courage to do it, in fact the first time I watched it with my daughter while having a glass of wine!.....I do realize this was probably not the correct method of exercising. lol. I started small and in the privacy of my own home, with the curtains closed in case the postman saw me , no-one was allowed in the room either I actually really enjoyed it once I got going and it did work for my diabetes, then I became unwell and was diagnosed with Crohns and haven't done exercise since. I really should but am too tired most of the time. I should practice what I preach and start small again I did it once so should be able to do it again.......but not just yet

Keep your chin up and take care.


I am pretty sure you just made my day!!! A friend of mine and I used to work out in my living room together before I got sick and alot of times water breaks would happen in the first 5 minutes and just turn into a gab session. lol
04-25-2013, 01:04 PM   #10
mickey
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One thing to check would be the thyroid levels. I know I had issues with giong from calm to ready to bite off someone's head in 2 seconds, before I realized it was abnormal. My doc said thyroid levels normal, but on lower side, sent me to endocronologist, who ordered the right tests and came back finding out hypothyroidism and hashimoto's disease. By that time half of my thryoid was gone. Within a month on the meds I was back to my self and no mood swings/anger. So, I guess what I am suggesting is that the hormones may be off, which can cause the other symptoms you mentioned as well.

Because we get a "label" of disease, does not mean a death sentence. It is a hurdle thrown our way; jump it! Don't let it be a bag you pack on your back, but a hurdle you jump as it comes up. Keeps your mind clear and won't let you get depressed about it.

hope that helps!
04-25-2013, 06:16 PM   #11
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MissBG, let me tell you that you are definitely not alone. I too have (and sometimes still) had suicidal tendencies & thoughts because of my Crohns and Perianal Fistulas. I know that some of the medication I am on contributes to these thoughts, but the actual health issues that I have contributes to it mainly. It's not even the Crohns that causes it, it's the Fistulas. I cannot sit down properly unless I have a donut cushion. I miss out on work a lot and other activities with friends and family. I am constantly in pain, and wish that I could end it all because that would mean I am out of pain.

What keeps me going (and alive) is my wonderful wife. When I was in hospital late last year/early this year (2nd year in a row I spent New Years in the hospital), my wife stayed with me and even slept beside me in a recliner. The recliner was so bad that if she moved it would spring back up and have her seated upright. Not only was that an annoyance for her, but she had spinal surgery 2 years ago for Sciatica and she still has a sore back at times. If I needed to go to the toilet in the middle of the night, I woke her (rather guiltily) and she would get the jug for me to go. She would get me paper towels and wet them with soap and water for me to clean my hands afterwards, and then empty the jug. She would help me in the shower every morning and night, she would dry me down and help dress my fistula wound. My mum also stayed with me for a few nights so my wife could get out of the hospital and have a good sleep at home, but for 90% of the time my wife would be the one who stayed the night.

I thought to myself that if she is going to this much effort to care and love me, then it would be unfair to take my life away from her. We only got married last November, and we couldn't go on a honeymoon. My hospital stay was pretty much our honeymoon. I am truly blessed to have someone like that in my life, and I am glad to have her. That was and still is the main reason I am still here. She still looks after me at home, and would get upset with me if I try to do too much. Even washing the dishes or taking out the trash is frowned upon.

My advice to you MissBG is to remember that so many people love you, and they care for you. Otherwise if they didn't then you would be alone. Don't forget that life is a gift, and it's there for you to share.

Take care, and I hope things work out for you!
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Diagnosis
Diagnosed Ulcerative Colitis - 2004 | Re-diagnosed Crohns - May 2011 | Diagnosed Perianal Fistula - May 2011 | 1st Seton Insertion - April 2012 | 2nd & 3rd Seton Insertion - August 2012 | Ileostomy Surgery - January 2013 | Removal of 2nd & 3rd Seton - March 2013

Medication
Remicade - Every 8 weeks | Methotrexate - 5mg Every Friday | Folic Acid - 5mg Mon-Thur | Oxycontin SR - 15mg b.i.d. | Oxycodone - 10mg
04-25-2013, 09:36 PM   #12
MissBG
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Thank you sAiyAnstAr for sharing your story... it reminds me that in the grand scheme of things my battle with crohns has been easy compared to some. I am lucky enough to have a spouse who has stuck by me with this and 2 great kids. Although I have these thoughts often and sometimes they can be overwhelming I dont think I could ever do that because I know how much pain it would cause my family. My reasons for considering suicide was always from the idea that they would be better off without me and while I know sometimes things with me are not easy I am able to see the damage it would do if I eneded it.
04-25-2013, 09:53 PM   #13
mwkwmn
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You may be married to a great guy but you are an individual and only you know how you truly feel. I would recommend him going with you to the drs appointment and also having a heart to heart talk with him. Only you know what it is your going through and if medicine can make you feel better then go for it. Depression is very common with a lot of chronic illnesses and from what you described it sounds like you need some help and also counseling. Admitting you need help is the first step and don't let anyone stand in your way of helping yourself.
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Crohns 1993
Adrenal insufficiency 2005
Blood clots 2006
Low testosterone 2006
Osteoporosis 2011

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