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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender » When did you reveal to your significant others about having Crohn's or Colitis?


05-01-2013, 12:17 PM   #1
WadeszWorld
 
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When did you reveal to your significant others about having Crohn's or Colitis?

I just want to hear from others in the community on when each one of you revealed you had IBD to your partners. It is becoming a growing concern for me personally at the moment. I was just wondering what some of you said, how you might have said, and how long did you all wait. Thanks in advance for your responses.
05-01-2013, 05:08 PM   #2
nogutsnoglory
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You are making me dig back in my brain to figure this out but it's good because I am curious as to my own answer! =)

I have had 4 relationships during my crohn's tenure. Tenure lol.

Guy #1 - I really don't remember when I told him or how it came up but I know I looked good and was doing really well when we started dating. It was shortly after we started that I got diagnosed with Crohn's and things rapidly took a turn for the worse health wise. I started high dose prednisone, got a fat face, ate everything in sight and had acne from the medicine. He loved me and wasn't going to let this be an issue, I never once heard him complain or judge me for it. The only affect the disease had on my relationship was in the bedroom. When I had a lot of diarrhea and blood he was less than eager to get intimate. I totally understand this and can't blame him for being disgusted by that. I truly don't think IBD had to do with our breakup but it may have been an additional factor for him when considering it. It was a mutual break up.

Guy #2 - I was doing OK during this time period and this guy was really sweet and didn't care at all. I think I told him about my crohn's on the first date because he was just so adorable and understanding and it was a total non-issue in any way.

Guy #3 - This was my boyfriend who also had IBS, I have mentioned him in other threads. I told him on the 3rd date and he was pretty relieved because he said he needed to be careful with what he ate too. Since we both had stomach pains, we were totally understanding and cooperated with one another when we didn't feel well enough to go out. It was a truly great relationship and he was very accommodating, often picking me up from work and going out of his way to make it easier for me day by day.

Guy #4 - This guy was AMAZING! What a sweetheart this person was and is. I told him on our second date. Total non-issue at all. I was very concerned that my scars from surgery would contribute to an ick factor especially since they were relatively new at that time. He said "these are badges of honor and show you persevered through a hard time" and proceeded to kiss them. How sweet? I was also really struggling with severe allergic reaction to Humira at the time and he was totally understanding going above and beyond to help me in any way he could. He is honestly an amazing guy but sadly I did not feel the chemistry and ended the relationship but remain close friends with him.

Looking back at my relationships it seems most were really good about understanding my crohn's. I have had some bad experiences with dating but anything with anyone more serious turned out to be OK. This still doesn't eliminate that fear that it will be hard to find the next good guy out there and the trouble with telling people about this disease.
05-10-2013, 09:21 AM   #3
Skycruiser
 
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I just want to hear from others in the community on when each one of you revealed you had IBD to your partners. It is becoming a growing concern for me personally at the moment. I was just wondering what some of you said, how you might have said, and how long did you all wait. Thanks in advance for your responses.

Hello There,

I was about a year into my relationship when I started getting "really" sick. My partner has been with me through the entirety of my Crohn's process (diagnosis to treatment).
05-10-2013, 12:44 PM   #4
kikidee1994
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From the start of my problems my friend who is no my bf was there so he kinda new a little bit

But I explained it to him what is like and how it comes when I have flare ups I don't really think he understands
How you got any ways that you tell people in a way they understand easyer ?
05-11-2013, 12:17 PM   #5
plaidknitter
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I haven't been around lately (been super busy), but this lgbt sub forum is very cool!

I am very upfront about having IBD. I also have celiac and multiple food allergies, that are extreme enough that I will get sick if someone eats something I'm allergic to and then kisses me. Food also tends to be popular for dates, so the food issues come up pretty much immediately... Then I just tack the IBD in with the explanation. I am pretty blunt/matter of fact about it, and I've never had anyone react poorly so far.
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IBD (mostly likely Crohn's), Celiac Disease, and Multiple Food Allergies
05-12-2013, 01:38 PM   #6
nogutsnoglory
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I find that similar to coming out about being gay that the build up and thought process of coming out with IBD is the worst part of it.

The nervousness and anticipation of telling someone I have Crohn's is often worse than actually telling them. Usually the fear of their reaction is worse than their response really is.
05-12-2013, 05:51 PM   #7
plaidknitter
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Agreed. I also don't want to waste my time with someone who will have a problem with it. So on the off chance that it is an issue, I bring it up sooner rather than later.
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