Feeling overwhelmed

I have been dealing with a bit of a flare this summer. Started off with just a feeling I knew sometjing was wrong followed by severe constipation after trying pred for a while and nothing really improving I had a CT scan which showed narrowing in the small intestine. Which is new within the past 12 months so basically the meds I have been taking havent been enough to control this disease.
I was on 200mg azathioprine and 9mg entocort.
In the past ive been on humira remicade asacol and Pentasa.
im waiting to retry the remicade as my dr doesn't prescribe methotrexate and doesn't want to use our last bullet yet (cimzia)

I'm just so fed up of feeling like I go through this alone. Ive been wi th my boyfriend for almost 2 years and he has not taken the time to educate himself about my disease he never asks me any questions he just constantly bombards be with text messages asking me what im doing when my drs appointments are and when I tell him he usually just says well lets hope for the best. I sat him down and put him in his place he was only seeing me for 2 hours a week if that acting like ge didnt have a girlfriend I told him he needed to prove to me things were gunna change or I dont wana deal with any of it anymore.

I literally feel so alone. I feel like pushing those I do have away just because being alone would make it simplier because I wouldnt be let down and disappointed. My mum says im expecting too much too soon from people she might be right I dont know.

im just so overwhelmed with it all. I go back to college wednesday and im so scared im not gunna cope. I get new symptoms on a daily basis while waiting to start the remicade and I try and offload onto my mum about how crap I feel and I guess shes growb immune to my moaning now lol she just doesnt even respond half the time I know theres nothing she can do but it makes me feel like shes not even listening and sometimes thats all u need.

Sorry if this is long with a lot of spelling errors im on my phone
Sorry for moaning at you too I just dont know where else to take it I just bottle it all up otherwise and end up even sicker lol

That is a lot to deal with. I'm sorry your going through this. Vent away!!!
Sending you my support and best wishes.

That is a lot in such a short time. You do need to vent and get it out. Sometimes we mom's don't know what to do or say and are waiting for a 'signal' from our older kids... after their "datadump".... such as an out right: I need a hug! Then we are right on it, no hesitation. We are just afraid you'll think we are being too mothering or too smothering and not come to us anymore if we jump the gun and do so uninvited. We do want to help... well shoot, who am I kidding... we want to fix it.... but we know we can't... and that's why we often go off by ourselves for a good cry.

Thanks auntieem I never thought that I could be overwhelming her too.
I guess I need to think a little more about that too lol.

thanks again

Just let her know you want that hug and thank her for letting you vent and that her just being there helps, that you don't expect her to "fix" it. Believe me, she's listening.