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Crohn's Disease Forum » Surgery » Stoma Subforum » finding partners and nursing plans


11-19-2013, 03:13 AM   #1
bumontherun
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: los angeles, California
finding partners and nursing plans

well I'm going to have to change my user name, 'cause I just had my 1st surgery [I held on to my colon for 12 years!] --total colectomy with end permanent ileostomy on October 18th. No more running!

My surgeon [I love her! I live in L.A.] said the next step is to remove my rectum. I previously had some perianal fistulas [2 setons...fell out, then anal fistulotomy].

She said the rectum is just another area for disease and cancer and that as long as I kept it, I'd have to keep going in for regular flex sig's. To hell with that! Take it out!

I can't believe I made the peace with my ileostomy surgery. I feel like I have a new life and new freedoms [I used to have a lot of accidents]. But now I wonder if I'll ever find a man to love me and my modified body. I'm 35, single, no kids ...and truly believe I want a child someday.

I hate to admit that the 'no man' thing bothers me, but it does.
I need to focus on the positive things I can control now --going back to school. I want to get certified as a nurse asst first, then go back to nursing school and ultimately be a GI nurse [possibly stoma RN??...I'll be pro by the time I'm done]
11-19-2013, 05:42 AM   #2
VeganOstomy
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Location: Oshawa, Ontario

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But now I wonder if I'll ever find a man to love me and my modified body. I'm 35, single, no kids ...and truly believe I want a child someday.

I hate to admit that the 'no man' thing bothers me, but it does.
I think when you find a man who will accept you completely, they will be head over heals above the other superficial men that you'd best avoid.

It certainly helps to be accepting of your "modified body" yourself as your own confidence is far more attractive and desirable than mere beauty. You've already overcome something that most people have a difficult time accepting - the man who finds you will be lucky.


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11-19-2013, 06:31 PM   #3
annawato
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: sydney, New South Wales, Australia

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Welcome to our group Bumontherun. Vegan sums it up pretty well. Anyone who accepts you, stoma and all, is a true keeper. If someone is put off by it good riddance to them. i think its only natural to want a partner in life. Nothing to be ashamed of there. Obviously we can and do survive without them but having a good one is great too. The fact that you have made peace with having a stoma is a plus too. YOur plans for nursing sound great - a stoma nurse who truly understands would be fantastic, not that most of them aren't but you can't truly understand what its like to have one until you do have one. Keep us poste on how you go with your plans and any other questions ask away. I'm going to move your post to a thread of your own so you get more responses - I hope this is ok wiht you. I jsut have to remember how to do it so bear with me.
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Anna

you name it, i've tried and failed it! currently on- waiting to see whats new and reducing pred
temp. ileostomy reversed feb 2011, new ileostomy, nov 2012
4 resections plus removal of adhesions etc, recurrent intestinal abscesses
lyme disease, depression, sacroileitis, chronic pain and......Crohn's..........
11-19-2013, 06:42 PM   #4
nogutsnoglory
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Location: New York

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The stoma will hopefully act as a jerk repellant and you will find someone who truly loves you for you. They also make a lot of apparel to make having an ostomy a little sexier for intimacy. Places such as ostomy secrets and many others exist.
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