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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Feeling depressed today

11-25-2013, 09:33 PM   #1
nogutsnoglory's Avatar
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Feeling depressed today

I am just not having a good day and need to vent. I have pain in my butt and am afraid I have a new abscess or fistula. I mean if this damn ileostomy, all the prior surgeries and the medication can't keep these things at bay what the hell will? I'm exhausted fighting this shit. How much pain and suffering can one take?

I just want my life back already. I had a glimmer of hope and started getting a tiny more energy which prompted me to begin seeing friends again but of course now the pain and being dizzy and weak return. I get so off balance that it's disabling. It's not any vitamin deficiency I can think of, not vertigo, not an eye or ear problem. I don't know anymore. I feel really depressed right now crohn's controls my life and I feel like I'm a prisoner to it.
11-25-2013, 09:55 PM   #2
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Sorry to hear this NGNG. I don't have any advice for you as far as your pain goes, but you are in my thoughts. I hope for your sake its not another fistula or abscess.
Try and keep your head up, I know you have been through a lot lately, you deserve a sense of normalcy in your life again.
Crohn's since 2007
15 Abdominal Surgeries since 2008
Severe Non-repairable abdominal hernia
Ankilosing Spondylitis
Inflammatory Arthritis

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11-26-2013, 12:14 AM   #3
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Thinking of you, sending posative thoughts!!! I hope tomorrow (well later today) will be a much better day for you!

I had a bad day as well, so maybe it is just in the air and today nothing but clear sky's <3

Stay strong!!!!!
11-26-2013, 02:36 AM   #4
Jennifer's Avatar
Methotrexate can take a few months to start working so give it some time (easier said than done I know). Hopefully adding it will help with the pain. Have you checked your blood pressure lately? Wondering if that could be the cause of your feeling dizzy. I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Hope you get some answers and feel better soon. Keep us posted.
Diagnosis: Crohn's in 1991 at age 9
Surgeries: 1 Small Bowel Resection in 1999; Central IV in 1991-92
Meds for CD: 6MP 50mg
Things I take: Tenormin 25mg (PVCs and Tachycardia), Junel, Tylenol 3, Omeprazole 20mg 2/day, Klonopin 1mg 2/day (anxiety), Restoril 15mg (insomnia), Claritin 20mg
Currently in: REMISSION Thought it was a flare but it's just scar tissue from my resection. Dealing with a stricture. Remission from my resection, 17 years and counting.
11-26-2013, 03:55 AM   #5
Cross-stitch gal
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Just wanted to send some hugs and support your way.
Ulcerative Colitis/IBD 1996, Iritis 2001, Ulcerative Proctitis 2013, Indeterminate Colitis 2016, Remission 2017, Hand Eczema

Current Meds:
Pentasa 1000mg 2xday or Mesalamine DR 1.2gm 2xday, Canasa Suppositories (when needed) 1000mg 1xday, Tylenol 3 with codeine 300-30mg (when needed)

600+D Calcium 2xday, Multivitamin, 65mg Iron 1xday, Fish Oil 1000mg, Vitamin D3 5,000 I.U., Eye Drops 2xday

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11-26-2013, 11:51 AM   #6
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Thanks guys I'm praying its something minor and that it doesn't require additional surgery or more tests to determine its cause. I am hoping its just the setons irritating me but this pain is all too familiar. Sigh.

Blood pressure has always been ok so that isn't causing the dizziness. That's been a chronic problem for years but gets much worse when I'm flaring badly.

Thank you all for your support. I appreciate you all and this forum every day but even more when life sucks.
11-26-2013, 01:20 PM   #7
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I was going to say blood pressure too. When my sodium level drops, my BP goes with it, and I get super dizzy and light-headed. When's the last time you had bloodwork done? Are you dehydrated at all?

I'm sorry to hear you're so down today, I was hoping things would keep getting better now that you've got the stoma. Hopefully this is just a bad day and nothing more. I do know the feeling, sometimes I feel like I take one step forward and about 5 steps back. You just have to keep trying to move forward, regardless. I really hope it's not a fistula or an abscess - but if it is, I hope your doctors can come up with a reasonable explanation as to why you'd have one with a stoma! Good luck and big hugs, hopefully tomorrow is a better day.
11-26-2013, 01:27 PM   #8
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You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Diagnosed in 1990. On Humira, Imuran, Gabapentin, Colestipol, Synthroid, Lialda. Resection in April of 2010. Allergic to Remicade, Penicillin, Flagyl, Doxycycline. Thyroid issues and psoriasis and neuropathy and mild cerebral palsy. Mild arthritis in my lower back.
11-26-2013, 01:41 PM   #9
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HorseLover!!'s Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Penryn, Cornwall UK

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Sorry to hear you feeling down, sending you some support and hugs

Had my first Colonoscopy and Endoscopy at age 2 1/2 years old

Diagnosed with Crohn's in 1998 when I turned 3

19 Years and counting with Crohn's!

Previous: Prednisolone and Pentasa slow release, Had tube feeding at age 3, Azathioprine

Currently in a flare but not taking any medication because doctor hasn't bothered to prescribe anything

My HORSE is not just a HORSE, he is my SANITY, my HAPPINESS, my THERAPIST and my BEST FRIEND

11-26-2013, 08:38 PM   #10
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Hello NGNG, Im just going to toss this out there. You say when you are flaring this happens more often. I am guessing that when a flare happens it can cause anxiety and tension - the anxiety/tension can make a dizzy, lightheaded feeling. Worry with this dam illness is so easy to do and not just because what is happening the what might happen. Try to pay attention to your breathing when you feel this way? Some breath shallow and it can actually signal the brain that there is not enough oxygen - dizzy lightheaded feeling. Try to breath normal and see if it might help. Many pish sha off meditation and breathing exercises but it can help some - especially when dealing with a chronic illness, pain and stress. You have been through a lot and sometimes when you feel you are just getting a grasp the stress of what has happened can follow.

Just a possibility. I hope you feel better.
Mantra - I am alive and I can get through this ~
As Always Ask your Dr. -
11-26-2013, 09:40 PM   #11
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Thank you if, the thing is it can happen randomly when I'm anxious or not. Generally I'm standing in a group, focused on someone or something when it happens. I think having to concentrate like that throws me off balance. I do find deep breathing helps to try to mitigate the symptoms of collapsing. It can range from annoying to very distressing.

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