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12-03-2013, 05:23 AM   #1
Holly
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Started Smoking...

I know a lot of people on this forum write posts about quitting smoking etc. Because of it's links to flares and other much worse problems.

But, over the last 6 months... I don't want to go too much into it, but I have had a lot of bad things happen..

I got dumped by my partner of 6 years, and I went on a bit of a bender... drinking a lot! a lot a lot a lot! (Which my body didn't thank me for)
Slutting myself around a bit (Being brutally honest here)
and... smoking both weed and cigarettes

and then I got over the break-up, I met a really really nice guy who is so so supportive of my condition he is amazing!
So I started to calm down a bit, cut out the drinking to just one on a weekend or something.
I stopped smoking completely (cause he is really anti) (and cause he knows the implications it has on my condition) and obviously stopped being a bit of a slut...

Then when I thought everything was just about going swimmingly...

I had two deaths in the family.... within four weeks of each other, I lost my Uncle to Cancer four weeks ago and My Grandad to Pneumonia on Wednesday just gone... and that hit me hard!

I didn't want to go on the alcohol again (don't ask me why I don't know)
So I have started smoking again (not crazy amounts but this is where it starts right?)
But worse thing is I am doing it in secret from my new boyfriend cause he hates it so much...

I don't know what to do, I am really struggling in this situation...
Wondering if anyone had any pearls for me?

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Holly xxx
-----------------------------------
Crohn's Disease

...of the Terminal Ileum/Rectum
Ileostomy
...5/11/2014
Diagnosed w/Crohns
...24/4/2012
Medication
Pentasa 4x1g
Azathioprine 125mg
Due to Start Humira

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12-03-2013, 06:17 AM   #2
valleysangel92
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I'm really sorry that you've been going through so much *Hugs*

We all understand what it's like to be under pressure or stress, or to just be having a horrible time.

You know the risks of smoking with IBD so I won't lecture you, but if you can stop, you really do need to.

Also, I would try to be honest with your boyfriend, if he finds out you are hiding something like this so early in a new relationship, it could affect you both for a long time into the future. I know he hates smoking, but most people would hate being lied to even more. You're going to need all the support you can get, and he is a part of that now, so give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him.

We are all here for you too, come and vent whenever you like.
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Nicola
coeliac disease/Osteopenia /Crohns/Arthritis/
laperoscopic hemicolectomy 25/06/ 2013

Meds- Vedolizumab, sulfasalazine, Lansoprazole, Vitamin D, prochlorperazine, Oramorph, MST, B12 shots My journey with crohns: http://glutenfreecookiemonster.wordpress.com/

Allergic to - inflectra, aza

Non CD meds - Gabapentin, paracetamol, ventolin
12-03-2013, 06:27 AM   #3
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I'm also so sorry for your struggles and losses. Just that you're being honest and reaching out makes you a strong person! Hang in there - better days are ahead.

I completely agree that you should be honest. Mostly because I doubt you're fooling anyone. People who have smoked aren't often aware of it, but nonsmokers (especially those who hate it) can smell it - or taste it on you - a mile away, despite air fresh enters, mouthwash, etc. He will know, so better it comes from you than he think you're trying to be deceptive. If he's really supportive, he'll get it and help you quit.
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Dx Crohn's 2012
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12-03-2013, 06:30 AM   #4
Cross-stitch gal
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I'm really sorry that you've been going through so much *Hugs*

We all understand what it's like to be under pressure or stress, or to just be having a horrible time.

You know the risks of smoking with IBD so I won't lecture you, but if you can stop, you really do need to.

Also, I would try to be honest with your boyfriend, if he finds out you are hiding something like this so early in a new relationship, it could affect you both for a long time into the future. I know he hates smoking, but most people would hate being lied to even more. You're going to need all the support you can get, and he is a part of that now, so give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him.

We are all here for you too, come and vent whenever you like.

I agree with Valley. Also, is there any sort of counseling you can go to? Or, at least a place you can go to in order to talk things over? If you're working, sometimes your work will have some sort of hotline or counseling you can go to for grief. In the meantime. Sending lots of hugs your way.
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Ulcerative Colitis/IBD 1996, Iritis 2001, Ulcerative Proctitis 2013, Indeterminate Colitis 2016, Remission 2017, Hand Eczema

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12-03-2013, 02:27 PM   #5
CrohnsChicago
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I'm so terribly sorry you have so much going on. Definitely quite the emotional burden

I think I've said this before but I have been where you are, care taking, family deaths, another significant family incident, my own health mysteries and a break up after 7 years all at the same time or within months of each other. I had a mental, emotional and physical break down. I drank a lot and partied a lot too but I realized it was all only temporary and simply covering up the stress, not ridding myself of it because after a night of partying or bad decisions was over and sobriety sunk in, reality was still there waiting for me to face it.

I was avoiding finding healthy ways to deal with it so that I could move on and be happy with my life and with myself.

The avoidance and stress got so bad that one morning I woke up and I couldn't move my legs. It terrified me.

It's OK to seek help in these circumstances. I did, and I am truly grateful that I did. They taught me many cognitive-behavioral skills and I have learned how to cope in these types of situations MUCH better than I was doing on my own. Plus it helped to have someone to talk to and offer an objective opinion and help reconsider your thought process towards these types of situations.

It sounds like you are having a really difficult time managing things on your own. My advice would be don't be afraid to ask for help. Seek out temporary assistance from a counselor or someone you trust and feel can help you move through this in a way that does not jeopardize your own health.

Crohn's is enough to deal with on its own, ya know?

My condolences to you and your family. Wishing you more peaceful days ahead.
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Crohn's-Colitis May 2012
Current Meds:
6-MP (100mg) / Asacol (4800mg)
Past Meds:
Prednisone/ Entocort / Flagyl
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Additional Info:
Anemia/Borderline Anemia - whole life
Generalized Anxiety Disorder - 2009 (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, mindfulness meditation)

12-03-2013, 03:44 PM   #6
Cat-a-Tonic
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Hi Holly, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through so much loss right now, big hugs to you. I agree with the others who have said that some grief counseling might be the healthiest way to get yourself through this rough time. Also, I know you've recently started a thread talking about how you're eating healthier and exercising. Personally, I find exercise to be the best therapy for me - if I'm stressed or depressed or just plain sad, I can go to the gym and work out some of those feelings and leave them in the gym. I'm not suggesting working out as a substitute for counseling; I'd encourage you to pursue both though. And as at least one other person has said, we're always here for you, so feel free to come to the forum anytime and vent to us! Sending you a big virtual hug from across the pond, and hoping better days are on the way.
12-03-2013, 04:04 PM   #7
Holly
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I know it seems a bit contradictory, I am eating ridiculously healthily and excercising a lot, it's my only escape and I feel like I have complete control over my food and my excercise and yet I am doing one of the most unhealthy habits there is....

Thanks for all your comments it means an awful lot!
12-03-2013, 05:29 PM   #8
ce1210
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I actually used marijuana to quit cigarettes when I was younger and that worked out great...and weed makes me feel better instead of worse like the cigarettes. If your man is as wonderful as he sounds, I'm sure he would be able to be understanding that you have taken to smoking again. And maybe by sharing he could help you quit? Cigarettes really are awful things though.....good luck either way, and sorry to hear about how tough things have been. My first major flare that led to my diagnosis was triggered by the illness and subsequent death of my grandmother. When you are stressed to the max, depressed, and your stomach sounds and works like a broken washing machine its very natural to look for ANYTHING to relieve your stress whether its sex, weed, cigarettes, alcohol, or all 4. So if you take nothing else from this post, at least know that you should definitely not feel guilty!
12-04-2013, 04:37 AM   #9
Holly
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I did smoke weed for a bit but he's really anti drug also so I would imagine that me smoking drugs would be even worse.. :/
12-06-2013, 12:53 PM   #10
mccindy
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Have you discussed the medical aspects of marijuana with him? Just to see how he feels about it as medicinal use?
I really do agree with everyone else here about the counseling. Smoking to relieve mental stress will really only add stress both mentally (from the ups and downs of nicotine addiction/cravings) and physically (as your body loses it's ability to fight infection and inflammation effectively). Also if you are smoking after exercising, it's even more damaging to your lungs because they are wide open and the toxins will exchange into your body at a higher rate.
It's likely he knows you are smoking again, since smokers usually have a pretty strong smell that they don't even notice. Be honest with him, since that's the most likely way to keep your relationship strong. Deception is usually more of a deal-breaker than anything.

Stay strong and keep coming in here for support as much as you need to!
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current diagnosis is undiagnosed (possible Celiac disease)

Colonoscopy done August 2013, no evidence of Crohn's seen, biopsies done and one polyp removed.
Polyp is precancerous adenoma

(Diagnosed with a diffuse astrocytoma (brain tumor) 5/31/13.
Craniotomy with tumor resection performed July 2013. 99% of WHO grade II diffuse astrocytoma removed, MRI scheduled every 6 months to monitor for regrowth.)
12-06-2013, 03:47 PM   #11
mish2575
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I'm really sorry that you've been going through so much *Hugs*

We all understand what it's like to be under pressure or stress, or to just be having a horrible time.

You know the risks of smoking with IBD so I won't lecture you, but if you can stop, you really do need to.

Also, I would try to be honest with your boyfriend, if he finds out you are hiding something like this so early in a new relationship, it could affect you both for a long time into the future. I know he hates smoking, but most people would hate being lied to even more. You're going to need all the support you can get, and he is a part of that now, so give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him.

We are all here for you too, come and vent whenever you like.
I agree. I was hiding my light smoking habit from my (now husband) at the beginning of our relationship. It took a long time for me to build trust with him again. It'll be easier to tell him if you have a plan to stop in place. A plan could be to ask a doctor for Chantix (although i think that is for heavy smokers) or it could be that you only allow a cig on an :00 hour, meaning if you crave one you must wait until the big hand on a clock hits 12. If you miss it, you have to wait until the next 12 (or the 6 if you want to start small). Or any other method you think will help.

Good luck.
12-06-2013, 03:50 PM   #12
mish2575
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I did smoke weed for a bit but he's really anti drug also so I would imagine that me smoking drugs would be even worse.. :/
Isn't it ironic that cigerettes are more unhealthy than Marijuana?
12-06-2013, 04:36 PM   #13
Grumbletum
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Hugs to you, Holly. Very mixed news in your post. Very sound advice from the folks so far. I'm another advocate for the counselling - I found it very helpful. And it's free on the NHS along with nicotine replacement therapy. I found my counsellor to be very non judgemental and that it really helped to examine the reasons why I smoked - my addiction was both physical and emotional.
I also downloaded Alan Carr's Quit Smoking for Women on my Kindle and found that to be quite an opener and motivator to quit.
Good luck to you and wishing you better times x
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Dx Crohn's terminal ileum April 2011
Ileocaecal resection & partial cystectomy Sept 2012
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Previous: Prednisolone, Mesren, Omeprazole, Infliximab, Azathioprine
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