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12-07-2013, 01:19 PM   #1
BenJamin1989
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kent, United Kingdom

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Dating with crohns

Hi there this is my first post so if its in the wrong place apologies. Also im still working out the site so whilst this question is mainly aimed people in the UK but advice from everyone would be great.

Ive just turned 24 and now my crohns is somewhat under control. I am on PN via a hickman line 7 nights a week. I attend college also. That all being said im looking to start dating and am having no luck what so ever. Im very conscious i don't mention my crohns straight away but i feel compelled to tell people about it after a date or 2 at least as its a big factor in my life. I find that as soon as i say im on a drip every night,they do a runner. Thats before they find out about the bag etc.

Im aware im sort of going off on a tangent here but what i suppose im trying to say is will it get better? has anyone else gone through all this? am i gonna have to wait till im older to find someone mature enough to understand all this?


Hope you all are well and feel free to message me anytime about anything. Even if i do say so myself ive been through a lot and know a fair bit about the wretched disease.



Thanks



BenJamin
12-07-2013, 01:27 PM   #2
HannahR
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Join Date: Apr 2013
First off I am going to say, that I am only 18, so you can take or leave this advice because I obviously don't have as much experience as a lot of people. haha. But, I thought what the heck so here is my advice! lol

There is hope! I know you will find a great someone that is accepting of your disease and other complications that go with it.

I have found a great someone and they understand when sometimes I can't go out or that I can't eat certain things at the moment, and they are completely understanding.

It is easier when you feel better because you can put in the energy to be that other half of the relationship. Don't feel discouraged, I know for a fact that there is hope and that it does get better!

I wish you the best!
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Update
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12-07-2013, 02:50 PM   #3
SarahBear
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Charleston, West Virginia

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Hi, BenJamin! Just wanted to stop by and welcome you to the forum. I did move your thread into our Support section, just because it fits a little better here. It's not a problem at all.

I don't think you'll need to wait specifically until you're older - you just haven't found the right person, as cheesy as that sounds. Like Hannah said, it might be easier once you're feeling a little better. For now, try not to put too much focus on finding a relationship. They oftentimes come around when you're least expecting it. They're likely to be more accepting if you're able to form a friendship first, anyway (that seems to work for me).

I hope things get better for you!
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12-07-2013, 05:59 PM   #4
Paxxy
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: sydney, New South Wales, Australia

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I once went on a date with a girl with one hand. The thing is I had no idea she only had one hand. She covered it extremely well. Until I was leaving. As I was riding away from the first date she waved with the stump.

Now I wasn't in the slightest bit angry or upset that she hadn't shown me earlier. It actually impressed me that she could keep a missing hand hidden for so long. It also made me realize that it wasn't at all a big deal as if you can hide it while spending an evening with some one then it isn't the defining thing of a person. She wasn't the one handed girl. You're not the crohns boy. You'll meet someone. Just don't make out as if crohn's is who you are. It's just a part of you like wearing glasses or being overly fond of abba.

Your in a way lucky. The ones that leave are the ones not worth keeping. You have yourself a good filter of shallow selfish girls who may seem like a good idea to date but are never worth the trouble.
12-07-2013, 07:14 PM   #5
JustAYoungLad
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: UK
Hey Ben, I'm the same age as you

I had an operation to remove a small piece of my small bowel. I still have my Hickman line in. I'm pencilled in for all sorts of reunions with my friends over Christmas. I'm not embarrsed by the line, if anything I think it's rather cool. The ability to put medicine into my vein above my heart.

Don't forget your not alone in the boat. Thousands and thousands of young people all over the world have crohns and are going through a similar situation.
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Last edited by JustAYoungLad; 12-08-2013 at 04:38 AM.
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