I'm my own worst enemy!!

This really is just a vent... Sure people ask how I am but they only really want to hear I'm fine and certainly don't want any details!!
So I have CD or UC... Jury is still out! We know most disease is in the decending colon so I've been getting by pretty well... I certainly don't get some of the problems I know lots of people on here get! I almost never have D and am a good size 12!!
I've been sick now for 3 months. I've not taken any time from work as I know this is a chronic condition and don't want to give in!! I usually play sport 5 times a week - i know this is pretty good going for a Chronie - but when I can't play, I go insane!! I'm usually so active, because I look well my team mates have no idea I'm sick, it's certainly not something I share freely, I don't want to be judged unfairly and I don't want poor play to be excused on ground of ill health!!
So currently, I'm just working, no playtime! Its a fairly stressful time at work right now... Which I know is contributing! I'm so frustrated, i'm so emotional and I'm so exhausted... I'm such a busy person, I hate not being able to do things!!
I'm seeing the doc on thursday tho so hopefully he's got me a magic pill to fix me quick... The local derby in a couple weeks and my fiance plays on the opposing team... Don't want to miss such a big game!!

Thanks for reading guys... I know you understand and don't think I'm crazy!!

Oh no, try not to be so hard on yourself. Just working your full working hours is freaking impressive! Best of luck at your doctor and I have my fingers and toes crossed that you'll be well enough to make the derby!

Hello Gail, sorry you have been sick the last 3 months sending :ghug: your way. Please let us know how your Dr visit goes tomorrow.

Thanks guys... Had a pretty awful couple of days but it is now the weekend!!
The doc wants me to have a full scope under GA so him and the surgeon can have a good look around... Plan to be decided after!! I'm getting that on tuesday, am going to have to work a full day monday without food in prep for liquid dynamite to be taken in the evening, lucky me!!
They want me to take immune supressants again but I am reluctant as I work in out patients in a hospital... Gah!!
Anyway, the support is greatly appreciated! Thanks again!!
xxx