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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Sick and tired of being sick and tired


06-04-2014, 09:40 PM   #1
rg28
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Hi,

I'm new to the group. I'm a 24 year old female about to graduate from physician assistant school. I was diagnosed with Crohn's in 2009. It was well controlled with Humira until I started PA school. The stress, bad diet, and all nighters took a toll on me. My Crohn's flared like crazy--dropped 30 lbs, became severely iron deficient (ended up needing iron transfusions), and now to top it off..I was diagnosed with a rectovaginal fistula. Had an appt with my doc today--I started Flagyl 250mg 3 times a day and we're swapping the Humira for Remicade and 6MP.

My family and friends who know the situation are completely supportive..but it's hard because they just don't understand. They don't get what it's like to be tired all the time, to feel sick all the time. It's so frustrating when they give me a hard time about "sleeping all day" and say "how can you be too tired to [insert activity that any other 24 year old would have no problem doing here]. But whatever, I deal with it.

But this fistula is just too much. I'm young...I should be drinking, dating, and going on adventures. Not sticking to a BRAT diet, having shit leaking out of my vagina (excuse my language), and still being tired after 12 hours of sleep. It's not fair. And that is something I can never say to my loved ones bc it will hurt them and they can't change anything. But it's.not.fair.

My sister just got engaged and all of my closest friends are in serious relationships--and up until this fistula I was completely ok with being single, I actually had no desire to be in a relationship right now. But now all I can think about is how hard it will be to find someone. I mean, honestly, who wants to date someone who has diarrhea all the time, who's hair is falling out bc of malnutrition, who has a freaking HOLE connecting their rectum to their vagina?!

I'm sorry for being so outrageous right now..but these are the thoughts running through my head and I don't know who to talk to. I'm just having one of those self-pity moments which I absolutely despise having--I'm blessed with so many things (family, friends, career) so I hate feeling sorry for myself when I know there are people out there who have way more serious problems than I do. But it just freaking sucks sometimes.
06-04-2014, 10:01 PM   #2
DJW
Forum Monitor
 
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Ontario

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Hi rg and welcome. I'm so sorry you're having such a rotten time. You hit the nail on the head...it isn't fair.
And it's perfectly alright to feel the way you do and it's okay to vent when it needs to come out.

Sending you my support. I hope things turn around and you can have your life back.
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Dave
06-05-2014, 06:20 AM   #3
Mel1981
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Coral springs, Florida
I made a similar post and my heart breaks for you. I am 33 married with six kids but often feel like I am alone. My husband had no desire to touch me or even try to understand how I feel or what I am dealing with. However that does not mean all men are like that and someday you will find someone that will love you for who you are. I wish only the best for you and congrats on school.
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