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08-21-2014, 06:26 PM   #1
Manchester21
 
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Being gay with Crohns

Hey everyone I'm kind of new to all this

I got diagnosed in April this year with crohns disease which my consultant says I have most likely inherited it from my mum as she got diagnosed with crohns colitis 5 years ago. It all started when I tried to lose weight but it wouldn't stop coming off and I went down to 6.3 stone which made me lose any little confidence I had because my bones started to show. Now I am on medication, putting weight on and getting my energy back I was just wondering about being gay and having crohns.

I mean I want to meet someone eventually but with being 21 and people my age being very judgemental its hard and embarrassing to actually find someone. Personally I think it would be easier to meet someone who has IBD aswell as it wouldn't be as embarrassing and would know what each other is going through, any advice or any stories people have??

sorry if I have done this all wrong I am new to it all
08-21-2014, 06:48 PM   #2
acoop
 
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hey there i'm Ayana,
I hear ya people are soo judgmental at our age,or at any age really.in the past I've had people not stick around because they thought me having crohn's was too much baggage or they didn't want to deal. I came out a few months ago, finally accepted that I'm gay. I met a girl at my school, we hit it off, and amazingly enough she was so supportive of me. she stuck around through some pretty tough times. unfortunately she ended up being a real jerk who used me, lied and cheated. but on the bright side ive been over her for a while aaaannnnddd, I just met an amazing young woman and we are really hitting it off. She does have kidney dysfunction and is on dialysis so, maybe because she has health issues also, that's why she is more sympathetic and it is easier for us to be so open with each other. And when I say open I mean pretty darn open, we can talk about the fact that I have to take a laxative everyday, and how im having more issues goin to the br. I think you should be very hopeful that you WILL find someone. There are so many loving and amazing people in this world, sometimes you just have to look a little harder or let them find you. I can't say for sure if it's easier to meet someone who has IBD or another disease, but they can definitely understand on a more personal level when you talk about what's going on with your health.

I hope what I shared was okay or helpful .
feel free to PM if you want to talk more privately, i'll def be here for ya.
08-21-2014, 07:21 PM   #3
Manchester21
 
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Hey Ayana

yeah you are right people are judgemental at any age, and oh im sorry to hear about your past relationships, I suppose some people just cant deal with certain things and would prefer someone without the health complications but at least things are looking up for you and you have found someone worthwhile I just hope one day I will find that haha. Its a good thing that you and your girlfriend can be open with each other I mean I bet you learn new things about her with her dialysis and she learns things about your crohns which is helpful. It may not be easier to find someone with IBD but it would certainly be a lot less embarrassing and more understanding I enjoyed reading your story and I feel a bit more at ease knowing I have someone to talk to and also same goes to you
08-21-2014, 07:57 PM   #4
acoop
 
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yeah, it can be very discouraging at times, because some people, girls and guys, just don't want to deal with something they don't understand or isn't "normal". I am really happy i started talking with this girl, we are still getting to know each other, she's from where i live but is in Michigan atm finishing school, she's gorgeous and amazing, and sweet as can be, i'd be lucky to have her as my girlfriend one day. I lucked out, and she is also a Christian and stands by her beliefs. funny story my ex boyfriend that im really goof friends with, introduced us, he is one of the few guy friends i have that isn't mad at me for coming out with my sexuality.
i hear ya on it being less embarrassing with someone who has IBD. 7 years ago i wouldn't tell like anyone anything about what i went throught, i was just so embarrassed about everything, being 83 lbs, having pain in my tummy having pain in my booty. i am way more open about SOME of it, it's hard to not feel really shy or embarrassed when you're telling someone you don't know as well, like a best friend or a family member. my mom is the only one that knows 100% everything that has happened.
ohh I bet you will find someone ! I can't give you advice on that because i literally got lucky meeting both the women that i did. My ex gf, i met her through a mutual friend and asked her how she meets other lesbians, then we started talkin. i'm pretty new to meeting girls, plus im shy so that does not help any.

Of course, i will be here for ya anytime , it's tough
08-22-2014, 09:01 AM   #5
nogutsnoglory
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Crohns is definitely an awful and socially unacceptable disease but thankfully they are learning more about it and have better ways of managing it.

I think finding a partner with crohns or colitis would be great because they could potentially understand the ups and downs and fears that only our special club could get. That being said IBD can really vary, I dated 4 guys with crohns and 2 of them barely had any issues and couldn't relate to my dietary restrictions. It didn't work with them not because of crohns but more lack of chemistry. The other two and I had great chemistry but they were a bundle of energy and I suffer extreme fatigue. The point being that sometimes even those who have crohns don't really get it or understand because our experiences are so varied.

I think like acoop someone with some issue is more likely to be accepting of any handicaps and limitations if we accept theirs. I wish there was a gays with health issues dating site!

I have searched out guys with health issues on certain dating sites but most people won't be upfront about any health issues. I mean, I'm not because I don't want people to overlook me for that.

Definitely just try to be out there, join support groups at your gay community center or school, join crohns groups and you never know who you meet. Maybe even a nice guy on here in the UK will find you! There are also many nice people out there without health issues who will like you for you and won't dismiss you over crohns.
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