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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Ignorant Boss


10-22-2014, 12:37 PM   #1
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Ignorant Boss

I have been working at my job for almost two years. I have two bosses, one is higher up and the other is the one I report to. Well the boss I report to was nice at first and then did a total 180 and started acting cold towards me. He criticizes everything I do.

When I was diagnosed in April with Crohn's. And the higher boss recognized it and acknowledges it. My boss whom I report to does not. He doesn't mention it and keeps being stand offish. I have had to step away from my desk and he complains.

Today I got a notice about some work that needs to be done by Friday but of course we are short staffed and my job is to answer phones. There is no way it's going to get finished.

This boss gives me nothing but stress and I have no idea what to do about it. Literally thinking about moving to another job within a few months. However I am absolutely disappointed that I have no support for what I'm battling.

Any similar stories out there? Or any advice?
10-22-2014, 01:26 PM   #2
nogutsnoglory
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Sorry to hear you are dealing with undue stress. Could you talk to your boss frankly about your concerns, if they continue not being receptive I would go above them to HR or the higher up boss who seems sympathetic.
10-25-2014, 09:51 PM   #3
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I'm trying to but it's a little difficult because I'm a little shy. I'm doing my best to try and relax. Thank you!
10-25-2014, 10:10 PM   #4
nogutsnoglory
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I understand but you shouldn't have to put up with health discrimination .
10-26-2014, 05:17 AM   #5
sleepallday
I have been working at my job for almost two years. I have two bosses, one is higher up and the other is the one I report to. Well the boss I report to was nice at first and then did a total 180 and started acting cold towards me. He criticizes everything I do.

When I was diagnosed in April with Crohn's. And the higher boss recognized it and acknowledges it. My boss whom I report to does not. He doesn't mention it and keeps being stand offish. I have had to step away from my desk and he complains.

Today I got a notice about some work that needs to be done by Friday but of course we are short staffed and my job is to answer phones. There is no way it's going to get finished.

This boss gives me nothing but stress and I have no idea what to do about it. Literally thinking about moving to another job within a few months. However I am absolutely disappointed that I have no support for what I'm battling.

Any similar stories out there? Or any advice?
This sounds horrible lovely
I have a similar story, literally two supervisors as well and diagnosed in May.
So when I was getting tested, i told my supervisors all about it (as they already knew I'd been really unwell). Though I would tell my bosses I had a test the next day, this particular boss would always call and ask me to work that following day (that I told them I couldnt?! I'm a casual employee).

Now in my industry because work is so sought after and competitive, it looks horrible if you turn down any work that becomes available to you. It took me 7 years of studying, volunteering and working in other jobs to make my way up to where I am now. So after turning down only 2 shifts due to tests being done (that she knew about!), I turned up at work the next time and my name had been wiped off the roster. I asked a senior member of the team if he knew what was going on and he ended up taking me outside and saying that my supervisor wasn't impressed I'd turned down work and to just try my best to keep working through it. I of course was so embarrassed and upset, I burst into tears.
It wasn't as if I had a choice, i wasn't turning down work to go to the beach with friends..
Anyway in the end I told her when i was diagnosed with Crohns, she completely opened up to me and told me that she has it too. Because of the nature of our work, it's not great to be immunosuppressed, so she told me that she's managed her Crohns through diet. As it was all new to me, I naively believed this and got upset when my GI told me I'd be stupid to follow that advice as I was very unwell and needed meds instantly.

Long story short, I didn't get ANY work from her side of the department for over 4 months. Only recently did I gain work again from her and i find out she actually has IBS. She continues to tell me how I should do what she does (naturopathy), while I try to explain the huge difference between our two conditions..

After all of that, it's made me reconsider my career choices (I have applied to go to university to study nursing). I still get extremely stressed when I have to go to work which inevitably makes my crohns flare badly. Even other members of staff are constantly upset and stressed, not physically well and are seeing psychiatrists because of it.

At the end of the day, you have to do what's right for you. I completely get you with the nervous about talking to superiors part (my eyes literally water when I speak to anyone of authority) but from the sounds of it, that small scary moment will be worth saving you from all that unnessesary stress.

Wishing all the best for you, please know I'm always here to chat if you wanted.
10-24-2016, 09:51 AM   #6
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Thank you nogutsnoglory and sleepallday! I appreciate the support and feedback. Luckily I have since left my job and my manager now is extremely support due to the fact that his best friend has crohn's.
10-26-2016, 05:46 AM   #7
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Work and sickness is something I know all to well. I work in special education and a lot of my job is 1 on 1 with students that need to be supervised. I can't exactly get up and go to the washroom if I need to. Therefore I have to take days off when my body is not working well. Last year I had to put in an medical accommodation(oh so embarrassing) to ensure I had done my part so higher up people are aware I'm not missing work cuz I want to party.

Yesterday I was notified that I got a reduction in hours so I'm back as being casual. I had a really good schedule. I wasn't working full time as per dr's suggestions and now I'm back to uncertainties and have to reevaluate.

Full time jobs for the year can come up at anytime BUT because of Crohn's I've had to choose to take it easy. Meaning less working hours.


Now I'm stuck with what the hell I need to... unless something casual comes up I will have to remain on call AND my sick hours will not be paid for.

Just having real crappy luck here. Just makes me feel defeated. I don't know what to do....
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10-26-2016, 08:08 AM   #8
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Hi MizzSarah,

First off I applaud you for what you do. I was in a program when I was younger I have ADD. Teachers are amazing!
Second off I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's tough when no one around you understands and you feel like you're constantly having to explain the situation. No one wants to talk about bowel movements let's be honest. However you do want to have the support of management and of colleagues. Have you had a honest conversation with your boss? I would mention it and let them know what's been going on. If they cannot accommodate you then may I suggest looking for a new place to work. It's not fair that they put you in this position and the stress is only going to cause you more harm. I've learned the hard way. I wanted to work more...I think I was in denial that I was sick. And the more I worked the more sick I got. My former manager talked to me and mentioned that I needed to take it easy. I told him that I wanted to work and do really well. He told me that if I get sick I'm useless to him. Although it sounds bad he really wanted me to take time to myself and to relax. He didn't want me to stress out. And if I needed time off he was fine with it. I'm sorry you're going through this. If you ever need to talk I'm here.
10-26-2016, 08:17 AM   #9
MizzSarah
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I wish it was that simple as discussing with the principal who I work under but with limited staff and our school districts cutting back hours we don't have extra bodies lying around to come relieve me if I need a break. Also with 'things' happening at any moment I prob wouldn't Beable to call someone quick enough


At 14 years old I wasn't expecting to get sick. And it's just getting worse now
Hi MizzSarah,

First off I applaud you for what you do. I was in a program when I was younger I have ADD. Teachers are amazing!
Second off I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's tough when no one around you understands and you feel like you're constantly having to explain the situation. No one wants to talk about bowel movements let's be honest. However you do want to have the support of management and of colleagues. Have you had a honest conversation with your boss? I would mention it and let them know what's been going on. If they cannot accommodate you then may I suggest looking for a new place to work. It's not fair that they put you in this position and the stress is only going to cause you more harm. I've learned the hard way. I wanted to work more...I think I was in denial that I was sick. And the more I worked the more sick I got. My former manager talked to me and mentioned that I needed to take it easy. I told him that I wanted to work and do really well. He told me that if I get sick I'm useless to him. Although it sounds bad he really wanted me to take time to myself and to relax. He didn't want me to stress out. And if I needed time off he was fine with it. I'm sorry you're going through this. If you ever need to talk I'm here.
10-26-2016, 09:17 AM   #10
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I'm really sorry that's a tough situation. Do you at least have support from colleagues, friends, or family?
I have my days at work. I usually bring a heating pad and drink a lot of tea to help me de-stress. Maybe bringing something into your routine will help relieve a little bit of stress. It's worth a try right?
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