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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender » Am I wanting too much, too soon from new boyfriend?


11-06-2014, 04:17 AM   #1
stitch604
 
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Am I wanting too much, too soon from new boyfriend?

This may seem frivolous to those suffering from Crohn's disease and I mean no disrespect... I have been dating a wonderful man for three weeks... about 6 dates... he told me at about date #3 that he has had Crohn's for many years and gave me a generic explanation as to what Crohn's is... this is a man I really like and respect... I believe that to be mutual, he is very affectionate but thwarts my intimate advances...I am a patient man and I have done a lot of investigating about Crohn's because I did not know what I did not know... I want to know if it is okay for me to tell him I have been doing research about Crohn's and I do not care that he has it...I will help him... I understand that there are many personal issues with this disease... I can make a difference in his life... I now, assume to know why he has been putting me off about being intimate... We can work around all of that but I do not want to embarrass him... Any help at all will be appreciated greatly...
11-06-2014, 08:32 AM   #2
nogutsnoglory
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Stitch, it's really admirable and appreciative when those of us as patients see others who date, friends etc with someone with IBD who care and are concerned.

It's certainly tricky territory to navigate because you guys are so new and early on and because it's a very sensitive and embarrassing sickest.

When you say he has put off your advances it can be from a number of things, maybe it's pain, maybe he has surgical scars, or maybe he's inflamed and intimacy can be problematic for him. He could also just be worried about an accident or maybe it's none of the above and he just wants to know you're staying with him in spite of his crohns.

The best thing I think is to just let him know you are supportive and it doesn't bother you. Telling him you researched it might creep him out but say you know a bit about it and did look it up to learn more sounds caring and nice in my opinion.
11-06-2014, 09:50 AM   #3
stitch604
 
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Thank you, nogutsnoglory, you have given a more appropriate wording for me to use. This is an awesome support system and I will continue to value the information within all of the threads. This man has touched my soul and I will not let him go.
11-08-2014, 10:13 AM   #4
stitch604
 
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After a couple of days worth of reading here, and listening to what I am hearing in print, and hours of tears... Yes, it is too much, too soon... I will give/show my support but I will leave our relationship status up to him... I can wait until he is ready (I hope I am strong enough)
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