Where to start???

Hey everyone, newbie here but not to the lifestyle. I have such a long story but I'll try to make it short. So I was diagnosed with Crohns disease in 2006 after months and months of severe stomach pains and lots and lots of throwing up and ER visits. Well at the time I was 26 with a great wife and 2 young boys. I was very successful managing 2 large car dealerships and had no worries at all. Then I was diagnosed with Crohns. Two weeks after being diagnosed I had 2 feet of my lower intestines removed (resection). So for 3 years after that I was literally taking 26 pills a day. Imagine the side effects????? Oh also I've taken everything on the market for Crohns.

Then everything went to shit! I couldn't perform at my job, calling out sick, so much fatigue, so much medication etc. etc. etc. Well within the past 2 years I've had 7 jobs and now I don't have one. It's just very difficult trying to hold a professional job in the automotive field. It's a constant fight of being knocked down time after time after time. I'm so tired of the ER visits and nobody understands what we go through. I always hear its my fault, its in my head, I'm just lazy, I'm not eating right, I don't take enough care of myself etc. I'm so tired of people judging without knowing what I go through everyday. It's caused so much strain on the relationship that we are now living apart and my children stay with my wife. I understand a lot of us go through so much with little help. Just try to be strong and keep fighting. I'm always told it could be worse which is true but hell this sucks!!!!!! I can go on and on and on but I would be able to write a book and I don't want to be boring. Keep fighting everyone and be strong.

Hi, there, and welcome to the board.

I'm so sorry to hear about all the trouble you've been having- I've had similar experiences. I had a nice house in the suburbs with a big fenced backyard and apple trees, wonderful family neighborhood, etc. I was diagnosed in 2008, but had symptoms long before that. I procrastinated because I didn't want to admit something was wrong with me. When I met my (then) fiance, I told him I had Crohns, but at the time, I was in remission after a bad bout, and getting my life back. So we were together for quite a while, got engaged, got the beautiful house... then my crohn's took a turn for the worse, and my fiance couldn't cope with it. He had the audacity to complain about my inability to keep up with all of the house work in addition to everything else I did. I finally had to just accept that he cared more about himself than me, and that it wasn't my fault- and I moved on. I moved back to my home town, where my family is.

Do you have any family members that can offer you support? If not, I understand that, too. Even when people try, they don't always understand and end up making us feel worse. As for those telling you that it's in your head, or that you're just lazy, forget all of that negative stuff. I know it's hard, but you know the truth. This disease is serious and it kills people. It's not to be taken lightly.

I don't have much advice to give, other than to say: you are most certainly not alone in this. If you need more support than the boards here, there are some great facebook groups that are very active and supportive. And as I always says, it's not how many times you get knocked down that counts, it's how many times you get back up. Hang in there, and as hard as it is, don't give up. Keep fighting. You are a warrior. Hugs!
-Autumn

I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through. People (those without Crohn's!) don't really seem to understand Crohn's. I think perhaps because they often can't see the effects they prefer to imagine that we are exaggerating the pain etc. So many people that I've come across seem to think it's "just a tummyache" not a disease that can be life threatening at times and very often debilitating.

It is definitely a disease where people feel very free to express their opinions on what might help (well-meaning but often annoying) all the way through to what we are doing "wrong" (so callous). My cousins very helpfully keep suggesting I have my colon out because then I'd be "cured", only problem is I have disease in the small bowel and without the extra length of my colon to help and fulfil some of the missing small bowel's function, I'd quite probably be dead. I just though I'd share than gem of advice

I hope you can get some support from this forum and perhaps other places on the internet (as suggested above). I've only ever talked to a few Crohnies in real life so I think forums like these are a great way to know that you are not alone and get the support that you need. And it can be a great place to figure out your next treatment options too. With so many people with so much experience there is almost always someone with advice and ideas on where to go with your treatment. Hang in there and, yes, keep fighting.

It can always be worse is true...but doesn't make us feel better when we are having a bad time. You sound positive despite what you are going through and that is inspiring.Many of us understand the difficulties of trying to work and deal with this disease as well as having to be a spouse/partner. It can be rough.

We know it is not our fault we have this disease.We know how hard we try each day.We can get worn down from those who don't understand and their cruel remarks,especially if it comes from family or close friends.

We do get back up after we are knocked down.It can get a little harder the more we are knocked down,but we still get up.

Stay strong.

Thanks everyone for your help. This site is awesome and everyone that's dealing with these issues should be on this site!!!!!!!.

4javids said:

I always hear its my fault, its in my head, I'm just lazy, I'm not eating right, I don't take enough care of myself etc. I'm so tired of people judging without knowing what I go through everyday.

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Its all in my head.........:ylol: I get that one a LOT. My reply is "no its all in my arse", normally shuts them up with embarrassment fairly quickly.

I have also lost most of my friends, as the fatigue meant I had to keep cancelling dates on them and they eventually got fed up and drifted away.

Luckily my relationship with my partner has only grown stronger. Not many partners that would cheerfully (well maybe that word is an exaggeration) mop up all my poo splats down the hallway when I didn't quite make it in time.

Also managed to hold onto my job by making compromises with my manager.

Could you get some sort of "work from home" job?