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Crohn's Disease Forum » Your Story » Crohn's now has me...


07-06-2015, 05:34 AM   #1
MsGiggles
 
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Crohn's now has me...

Hello All,

I was delighted to come across this forum by a friendly nudge.

I suppose to start, I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease almost a year ago. I had been feeling unwell really for the previous 12 months and in total lost about 6 stone. Honestly, from the first couple of weeks of feeling symptoms I had a suspicion that it was Crohn's. I should also explain that I have a sister that was diagnosed when she was 13, about 16 years ago. She has had 3 surgeries and is on humira at the moment, so it is safe to say I wasn't a stranger to the disease.

I remember, vividly, the day my diagnosis got confirmed, I wasn't upset for me but the thoughts of telling my family was overwhelming. I should mention that I am 32 and live independantly but I knew what a blow this would be to my family and specifically my sister. She had been with me all the way through being diagnosed, all the tests, most coming back with nothing and people telling me I was insane ! I suppose I was always the rock for my sister and was there through all her surgeries and all her hospital visits, and was the one she would come to if she was feeling low or needed help with anything.......now it was me !

The day that I told my family about my illness, I cried and cried. But the funny thing was, I wasn't crying for myself as I accepted that I had it, I cried for them because I knew how upset they would be. It is very difficult for me to accept help, being the oldest child I think always gives you more of an air of responsability than the rest, so it is now very hard for me to express when I am feeling crappy or when I am feeling unwell. As we are all probably aware, stress is a big factor in this illness and I was so scared that this would really affect my sister - She is a big worrier and I now almost feel selfish for making her worry about me, even though there is no need to !

I know there is no reason I should be feeling guilt for a Crohn's diagnosis but I can't quite seem to shake it. I am sure I will eventually get to grips with it....like all things it takes time.

Nice to be a part of this community and can't week to see what new experiences await me !
07-06-2015, 06:23 AM   #2
teeny5
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Welcome to the forum! This disease is very hard emotionally to deal with. When I was flaring very bad I felt like a burden to my husband. Feeling bad that I couldn't take care of the house and cook. It may go away with time, but you can always vent, seek support or ask for advice here. I understand where you are coming from with being the rock and not showing how you feel. I never like to feel like a victim and never want people to see any weakness. My husband is the only person who I let see me vulnerable...he's amazing for being there all these years of ups and downs. I know it's hard but let your sister be there for you. I am sure she would like to give back all the amazing support you gave to her.
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07-06-2015, 03:38 PM   #3
Tony H
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welcome Ms G .
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07-06-2015, 05:05 PM   #4
MsGiggles
 
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welcome Ms G .
Tony.....thanks
07-07-2015, 12:20 AM   #5
POTTYTIME!
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Welcome,

It is very depressing at first. At least you already had knowledge of the disease, that is a leg up on most of us here. Sure your sis will be there for you as you was for her. Sometimes its hard to pull up your boot straps and keep going but we find the way to do it anyway. Keep your head up.
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