Hi everyone,
My name is Juan Carlos, I'm a half Swedish/half Colombian 25-year-old living in Brussels, Belgium. Just to tell you a little bit about myself:
I was diagnosed with Crohn's after a holiday when I was 13. It was a painful time and I remember wondering why my stomach had bulged out so much and where the pain was coming from. No one in my family knew what was happening either, and it was only when I returned to my parents in Sweden that they rushed me to the hospital - and voila - I had somehow acquired a disease I was told would follow me for the rest of my life.
I didn't reconcile with this for a long time. In some ways, I don't think I still have. I have flare-ups every now and then, but only twice when I was younger have they landed me in the hospital.
Nowadays, I feel apathy some days. My relationship and my personal life are great, I have a fantastic partner and beautiful friends, after a long period of struggling with both.
My work isn't great, and I'm hoping to change.
What does get my down is that I get sick a lot - not just from Crohn's - but my immune system seems to be working against itself. If anyone is sick around me, I'll contract the throat infection, cold, whatever. The stress and anxiety also work down my self-esteem and self-worth and cause what I'm afraid to call depression. But I can't find another word to describe it.
I'm trying. Every day I'm trying but I'm scared of constantly complaining. I broke down last week when I had been in pain for days and my kidney felt like it was being repeatedly punched and I don't know why. I cried to my partner, and I know she isn't used to dealing with disease. Making her anxious, making her worried breaks me down. I don't want to be the weak one.
If I'm being honest, some day are quite hard. Some days I feel the sun shining on me, I feel the touch of my loved ones. Some days I feel removed and I have trouble finding my way back.
I felt I needed somewhere to talk to people that know what I go through. Others can only understand to an extent.
So, hello. Thank you for reading. I hope I get to know some of you better.
My name is Juan Carlos, I'm a half Swedish/half Colombian 25-year-old living in Brussels, Belgium. Just to tell you a little bit about myself:
I was diagnosed with Crohn's after a holiday when I was 13. It was a painful time and I remember wondering why my stomach had bulged out so much and where the pain was coming from. No one in my family knew what was happening either, and it was only when I returned to my parents in Sweden that they rushed me to the hospital - and voila - I had somehow acquired a disease I was told would follow me for the rest of my life.
I didn't reconcile with this for a long time. In some ways, I don't think I still have. I have flare-ups every now and then, but only twice when I was younger have they landed me in the hospital.
Nowadays, I feel apathy some days. My relationship and my personal life are great, I have a fantastic partner and beautiful friends, after a long period of struggling with both.
My work isn't great, and I'm hoping to change.
What does get my down is that I get sick a lot - not just from Crohn's - but my immune system seems to be working against itself. If anyone is sick around me, I'll contract the throat infection, cold, whatever. The stress and anxiety also work down my self-esteem and self-worth and cause what I'm afraid to call depression. But I can't find another word to describe it.
I'm trying. Every day I'm trying but I'm scared of constantly complaining. I broke down last week when I had been in pain for days and my kidney felt like it was being repeatedly punched and I don't know why. I cried to my partner, and I know she isn't used to dealing with disease. Making her anxious, making her worried breaks me down. I don't want to be the weak one.
If I'm being honest, some day are quite hard. Some days I feel the sun shining on me, I feel the touch of my loved ones. Some days I feel removed and I have trouble finding my way back.
I felt I needed somewhere to talk to people that know what I go through. Others can only understand to an extent.
So, hello. Thank you for reading. I hope I get to know some of you better.
