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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Worrying and Over-thinking Every day is too hard


11-03-2015, 02:46 AM   #1
Malicious
 
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Worrying and Over-thinking Every day is too hard

I hate to be a ranter but sometimes we just need it. So I apologise in advance for sounding like a whiny...person.

It's just...so I have anxiety right? Which is fine. And now I have Crohn's which I guess is fine too. But having to deal with the both of them is such bullshit.

Like, if Crohn's isn't making me feel ill, then anxiety is. And even then if my Crohn's isn't enough to make me ill anxious-wise, it all becomes too much for my head and I end up upset and frightened about everything.

I worry about Crohn's every day. And it's just easier to stay home because then I don't have to worry because worrying is so exhausting. :'(

I want to go out and do things, but it's just too hard - and not because I'm Crohn's ill, I'm just...exhausted. And sick of over thinking and worrying.

To top it off, I've been sleeping a lot! Even when I don't do anything. I don't know if this has anything to do with my medication, but I don't usually take naps during the day.

It's just...I can't have one thing without the other - either I stay in as a loner and be worry free. Or I go out and enjoy myself but be worried sickless & to exhaustion.

Does anyone else get this?
Thank you if you read all of that.
11-03-2015, 03:55 AM   #2
fuzzy butterfly
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Hey rant away love thats part of why we are here. Its good to vent it cam help relieve the stress.
I have been there in my worse days. I just about forced myself to go to work, bent over in agony. Coz i couldnt afford not to work. Not ill enough for disability ,go figure !!. Go food shopping n that was it the rest of the time i was half dead on the sofa or in bed. It sucks.
Can i ask what treatments you are havimg or had. As some can make things worse for us . Love n support coming your way 💕
11-03-2015, 07:49 AM   #3
HannahR
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I hate to be a ranter but sometimes we just need it. So I apologise in advance for sounding like a whiny...person.

It's just...so I have anxiety right? Which is fine. And now I have Crohn's which I guess is fine too. But having to deal with the both of them is such bullshit.

Like, if Crohn's isn't making me feel ill, then anxiety is. And even then if my Crohn's isn't enough to make me ill anxious-wise, it all becomes too much for my head and I end up upset and frightened about everything.

I worry about Crohn's every day. And it's just easier to stay home because then I don't have to worry because worrying is so exhausting. :'(

I want to go out and do things, but it's just too hard - and not because I'm Crohn's ill, I'm just...exhausted. And sick of over thinking and worrying.

To top it off, I've been sleeping a lot! Even when I don't do anything. I don't know if this has anything to do with my medication, but I don't usually take naps during the day.

It's just...I can't have one thing without the other - either I stay in as a loner and be worry free. Or I go out and enjoy myself but be worried sickless & to exhaustion.

Does anyone else get this?
Thank you if you read all of that.
I feel you! Your mind just doesn't seem free or completely there when you go out because you are worrying too much. I have cut down on this some by wearing a diaper out when there are long drives or when I know I am going to be anxious and it helps a lot. I know your fears may not be bathroom related but I experience exactly what you do. Medications and just our past living with this disease has made us sensitive people and we need to feel safe and secure to not worry. I hope you can find ways to naturally calm yourself down and start enjoying life again!
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11-03-2015, 08:07 AM   #4
ronroush7
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Do you have some type of hobby to get your mind off of things?

2
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11-05-2015, 02:48 AM   #5
Malicious
 
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Thank you everyone!

@mandy - I definitely think I need to push myself more to go out. Hopefully I can soon. I'm currently on Imuran - 50mg.

@Hannah - I do wear those. Almost all the time :/ I've never needed to use it, but I find just wearing one helps.

@ron - I do, but if it's out in public it just adds to the stress - and when it's at home, then I'm just spending all my time at home. Hm... :')
11-05-2015, 03:32 AM   #6
fuzzy butterfly
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Hi Malicious. Ok hopefuly the Imuran will work well for you,and things can get better. Then you will feel more like your old self ☺. It can take a while so bear with it, the meds dont always work right away..
Best of luck n best wishes 💖
11-05-2015, 09:42 AM   #7
ronroush7
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I feel you! Your mind just doesn't seem free or completely there when you go out because you are worrying too much. I have cut down on this some by wearing a diaper out when there are long drives or when I know I am going to be anxious and it helps a lot. I know your fears may not be bathroom related but I experience exactly what you do. Medications and just our past living with this disease has made us sensitive people and we need to feel safe and secure to not worry. I hope you can find ways to naturally calm yourself down and start enjoying life again!
When I was working, my boss insisted I wear the adult diapers.

11-07-2015, 06:41 PM   #8
Malicious
 
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Thanks mandy. I have actually been on Imuran for over 100 days! It's gone very quickly, only feels like yesterday I had to start taking them. I think they work, I just have bad days and I worry too much.
11-08-2015, 01:33 AM   #9
teeny5
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I feel for you...I have anxiety, if it's not Crohn's it's something else I am worrying and obsessing about. Very hard for me to control. Took Prozac for a bit, but prefer to try to manage it on my own when possible.
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11-08-2015, 01:47 AM   #10
ronroush7
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I feel for you...I have anxiety, if it's not Crohn's it's something else I am worrying and obsessing about. Very hard for me to control. Took Prozac for a bit, but prefer to try to manage it on my own when possible.
I feel the same.

11-08-2015, 05:23 PM   #11
BigBoss
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Don't feel like your whiny, although I feel that way myself. A short answer to your post is Yes I feel the way you do. And lately my anxiety has been a bit elevated to say the least. I just had a complicated resection on sept 21, 2015, and although my doc told me to be prepared for a marathon and not a sprint in terms of recovering, to be quite honest I am kinda freaking out. I feel like I could easily hijack your thread, so I will just say, I am worried about work, money especially cuz I was feeling good enough to work, but for the last say 2 weeks now, all the sudden, I feel like as bad or worse than I did before the surgery. I dont know whats happening or what is going to happen. I have hobbies, but I have absolutely no energy to really do anything but in my head, I am ready to do it all, so theres this anxiety cuz I want to go and do, do it all, but the moment I even think about actually "getting up or going out to do it, I know deep down, that I cannot. And even saying or typing that, is crushing for me. I am feeling very depressed, hopeless, scared and I feel like a freaking burden to everyone in my family. No meds seem to work at controlling my symptoms which leaves me in the dark as to the future. So ill stop here and say, you are def not alone and some days I sleep alot and some days I cant sleep at all. Sorry if I hijacked you a bit, and sorry if what i said didnt help. I totally get the be a loner and being worry free, at least for what i think you mean, cuz I am the same, I dont even feel like I can go see a movie with friends, I cant tell you how many times I have cancelled last minute whether its a movie, lunch or just them wanting me to come by their house to hang out. I just really dont feel comfortable leaving my house, and the only time I really have left my house in the last 2 months has been to go to a dr appt, surgery, or procedure, test etc. ok im done sorry
11-08-2015, 08:42 PM   #12
Justanothercp
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I think a lot of us feel that way to some degree. I cycle through bad times and not so bad times. I think it is important to continue to force yourself to engage in life to some degree. I also believe a lot of the exhaustion can be due to the disease process itself, our bodies are fighting hard 24/7.
Know you are not alone....
11-17-2015, 07:41 AM   #13
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Malicious: Check out L-Theanine, the amino acid in green tea that creates the calming effect. I have Anxiety as well and wrestle with the daemons that never materialize. "Is there something else wrong with my body, etc."? Theanine really helps me to tell the committee in my head to shut up.
11-26-2015, 09:05 PM   #14
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Live life , it's normal to feel this way. Try not to think about it, the more you worry the more anxious you'll be. Then your gut starts getting nervous and then bathroom run! Chill out relax. Best you can!
12-01-2015, 11:59 AM   #15
n00b
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Been there, got the t shirt and all that!!!

it used to be such a struggle, if it was not the anxiety/OCD it was the crohns.

Its a very difficult place to be, I know. I am much better now through good IBD treatment (Humira & CDB oils) CBT, medication and pure grit and determination.

There is a great book by Paul David called a life at last, although not related to Crohns it does have some really useful info that helps you understand the reasons you feel like you do and that there is nothign wrong with that.

I promise it does get better and once you come out the other side (which you will) you will be alot stronger and wiser for it.
12-01-2015, 12:34 PM   #16
BigBoss
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Hey Malicious, just curious how you have been feeling. Have you been able relax a bit?
12-02-2015, 07:39 AM   #17
ronroush7
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I feel the same.
I can relate.
12-02-2015, 08:25 AM   #18
BigBoss
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Have a meeting with pain management. Has me stressed, they totally treat me as if they are doin me a favor, as if my pain is bs. I am at the point of going to interview pain mngmnt docs. Even if it means switching ins. These things absolutely help me and my quality of life, and theres no understanding or connecting with these current docs. Just "I dont have any patients on this high of pain meds" and it alwayd gets me all back pedalong and nervous/self concious. But today, i am sticking to my guns, and focusing on crohn's, other crohn's patients, and her exp with crohn' and other crohn's patients, because 90% of who she is referring to are elderly people with fucking neck,back and knee pain. I have to call her on that shit. Anyway, this shit gives me such anxiety, fucking hate it.
12-02-2015, 08:32 AM   #19
ronroush7
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I agree. You have to think about yourself and what you ate going through.

12-02-2015, 01:36 PM   #20
fuzzy butterfly
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Best of luck Bb tell it as it is. Take no prisoners mate. 💕
12-02-2015, 02:10 PM   #21
BigBoss
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Haha, got a call this morning at 730am, they canceled my appointment as the dr would not be in the office today.... and they originally called me to schedule the appointment. Thx for the support mand
12-02-2015, 06:08 PM   #22
fuzzy butterfly
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Oh what a bummer. Have they given you a new time ?.
Your most welcome . Take care 💕
12-03-2015, 06:25 PM   #23
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Hey guys

BB - Yeah not too bad. I had a shocking start to the week where i didn't leave the house or anything, because i was so over it.
But then Wednesday I went Chrissie shopping, went to a friends art launch, and Thursday, even though i was home, decided to get petrol, just so I knew I could leave the house and be fine.
I guess i still have to push through things, and still worry about stuff - I just can't let it control me. Easier said than done.

That also sounds terrible :/ If any doctor treated me like that, or was condescending to what I was going through, I would find someone else.
12-03-2015, 06:29 PM   #24
BigBoss
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Hey malicious, good to hear your trying to push yourself. I have to do the same.
Regarding the doc situation, I just might have to, but when it comes to pain docs, alot of them just dont feel that treating with marcotucs is adviseavle, and i totally get that. I struggle with it myself, but honestly i dont know what else to do, and that scares me as well. I am afraid to eat, limiting myself to 1 meal a day, i drink fluids but i only eat once at dinner time. The pain following meals and wapecially during bm's is just debilitating. I just hate where im at. I feel so stuck.
12-03-2015, 08:44 PM   #25
ronroush7
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Hey guys

BB - Yeah not too bad. I had a shocking start to the week where i didn't leave the house or anything, because i was so over it.
But then Wednesday I went Chrissie shopping, went to a friends art launch, and Thursday, even though i was home, decided to get petrol, just so I knew I could leave the house and be fine.
I guess i still have to push through things, and still worry about stuff - I just can't let it control me. Easier said than done.

That also sounds terrible :/ If any doctor treated me like that, or was condescending to what I was going through, I would find someone else.
Me too


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