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Crohn's Disease Forum » Your Story » It's not in my head!


05-09-2017, 03:54 PM   #1
Somethinghas2give
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Conway, South Carolina
It's not in my head!

I'm a 33 year old male. I was just recently diagnosed with Crohns Disease after a stay in the hospital where docs informed me I almost has an encounter of the 1st kind with the Pearly Gates. When I say diagnosed I should note that I have not yet had colonoscopy but Crohns is what doctors strongly believe I have as do I after much research and thought. It explains so much. Anyway I believe I have been experiencing Crohns affects for many years. Over the past year and half things have gotten progressively worse. I am always exhausted and feel plain miserable. It got to the point that I quit my job. I was so tired and depressed all the time that I quit caring about much of anything.in search of answers I was put on many depression meds which none of which worked. Also diagnosed with high bp and finially told I had severe sleep apnea and that it was the cause of my issues. Since I've always had stomach pain since I can remember and since I had been tested for everything in the world I never put exhaustion and stomach pain 2gether as signs of something else. Things have gotten terrible in the last few mths as my depression is as bad as it gets. I wake up and immediately think of killing myself. Thankfully, I suppose the love for my children prevent me from following through. This disease has affected my ability to play with them the way I used to but I refuse to let it rob them of a father altogether. I digress... My depression is made much worse as most of my family r constantly telling me its in NY head and to just snap out of it. Calling me a deadbeat and lazy and poor provider for my family has sent me into dispair. I've always worked hard for my family. Always been able to fight through sickness but this is different. Was told by my wife I should have rested in the hospital and that I needed to help her clean 1 day after discharge. Its been a week and a half and I find myself much better but still very sore, weak and in a deep depression.I've never been part of a support group. Truth b told I'm the 1 most come to for council but I'm absolutely at the end of my rope. There's no 1 that will even discuss it with me. They all just want me to keep quiet about my condition and for me to do all the things the way I did before.To b me again before I became a deadbeat. I've heard that it's in my head so many times I question myself constantly even after hospital visit. I kno deep down that its not in my head and that I am sick but it's definitely not helping my state of mind to hear those closest 2 me say it is. I need hope. Just a flicker of a light at the end of the tunnel. Something has 2 give.
05-09-2017, 05:22 PM   #2
Tuff
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Ontario

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Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're being treated so badly. Would it be possible to bring your wife along for your next doctor's appointment? Maybe the doctor could enlighten her on your condition. A lot of us struggle with depression, keep bringing it up with your doctor. Hang in there.
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Inflammatory bowel disease may more than double the risk of a serious blood clot in the legs or lungs.
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Stelara, Warfarin, calcium, Vitamins B12, D.
Previously: 5-Asa, Cipro, Flagyl, Prednisone, Aza, Remicade.
Pulmonary Embolism, DVT's, osteopenia, Peripheral neuropathy.
05-09-2017, 10:20 PM   #3
ronroush7
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: vienna, Virginia

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I agree with Tuff.
05-09-2017, 11:15 PM   #4
Somethinghas2give
 
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Conway, South Carolina
Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you're being treated so badly. Would it be possible to bring your wife along for your next doctor's appointment? Maybe the doctor could enlighten her on your condition. A lot of us struggle with depression, keep bringing it up with your doctor. Hang in there.
Thankyou for the message and advice. My wife seems 2 b coming to realize that this isn't just a cold. I may allow her to come 2 the doc with me in the near future after I know exactly where I stand with this disease.May not make sense to some but I'm a little hesitant to bring her alone because quite honestly I think she will handle it badly when it finally hits her that this may change our lives. She's already dealing with the stress of our 6mth and 4 year old having TGV. She's the love of my life but her coping skills aren't very good. Slow is better. lol At least she's coming along. Still unsure what to do about the depression since I've been on every class of meds. I kno talking helps. I've joined this support group and one on Facebook since I'm pretty much alone in this from my end. My phones my best friend right now. Not sure if I mentioned it in earlier post or not but I'm a minister. I could talk to a Pastor but in my experience they can't tell me anything I haven't learned in the 11 years I've been in the ministry. I'm family with scripture and physiology.Its just very different speaking the needed advice to yourself and u would b surprised how many people think a minister is somehow immune to depression. The truth is quite the opposite. Ministers if they r worthy of the name have a compassion and drive to help others. This makes them busy leaders that must deal with their own stress as well as the stress of overseeing counselling and day to day operations. Not to mention most I know hold regular jobs also. I realize I digress but my point is for most of us there's no 1 to talk 2. Not throwing a pity party by any means. Helping people and teaching scripture is my passion but it wasn't until recently that I realized how alone most r.
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