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Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Don't know how to support my girlfriend.


05-20-2017, 12:24 AM   #1
Amanda.lexie
 
Join Date: May 2017
Don't know how to support my girlfriend.

Hey I'm new here!

My name is Amanda My girlfriend of 5 months has crohns.
I love her more then anything on this world. She told me she has Crohn's about 3 months ago and since she has had no flare ups i underestimated her illness. She's had stomach pains now and then but nothing to severe. Four days ago we were out at a restaurant she decided to treat herself to a margarita cause she's been doing so well with taking care of herself. She got very sick 30 minutes after drinking it . She ran straight to the bathroom and kept throwing up. I took her straight home. The first night she wanted me to leave cause she didn't want me to see her that sick. But the next morning I came over to bring her some pedalyte and applesauce so she can hydrate a little.
She's been so distant and I understand. She has barely said a word to me. I know she appreciates that I'm here helping in anyway I can but it's hard to see her this way.
I feel so selfish for needing some kind of reassurance that I'm doing this right. I feel selfish for needing some kind of attention when I know she's really sick. I feel selfish for crying at her pain when I know I should be staying strong and helping her. I try and help her as much a I know how to . I just can't help to think she needs more then what I can help her with.
05-20-2017, 07:04 AM   #2
cjjey
 
cjjey's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2017
Just make a space where she could just be.
05-21-2017, 05:09 AM   #3
Lintel
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Carluke, United Kingdom
You are doing a great job I'm sure, the fact you are here asking advice.
If it's any consolation I've spent the last week crying over my partner being unwell and in hospital continually beating myself up for not doing more and not being able to help. It's really painful watching the ones you love in pain.
She might try to push you away, don't take it to heart she's maybe feeling ashamed and worried about what you might be thinking.
Talk about your feelings, give her some space but you make sure that knows you are there for her whether that be a metre away or a phonecall away. Sometimes just sitting with someone quietly is the best medication, they know you are there but they don't have to justify themselves to you.

Don't dare think your selfish everybody needs reassurance at times, sometimes your the one that just needs a hug. Your doing well, chin up keep doing a great job.
05-21-2017, 06:48 AM   #4
Amanda.lexie
 
Join Date: May 2017
You are doing a great job I'm sure, the fact you are here asking advice.
If it's any consolation I've spent the last week crying over my partner being unwell and in hospital continually beating myself up for not doing more and not being able to help. It's really painful watching the ones you love in pain.
She might try to push you away, don't take it to heart she's maybe feeling ashamed and worried about what you might be thinking.
Talk about your feelings, give her some space but you make sure that knows you are there for her whether that be a metre away or a phonecall away. Sometimes just sitting with someone quietly is the best medication, they know you are there but they don't have to justify themselves to you.

Don't dare think your selfish everybody needs reassurance at times, sometimes your the one that just needs a hug. Your doing well, chin up keep doing a great job.

Thank you this is exactly what I needed to hear. I really appreciate it! I'm sure you're doing all you can do as well don't be so hard on yourself.
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