How often do you cry?

[tamesis]

Lately, it seems like 2-3 times a day for me. Every time my hubby says "i feel bad for you, i wish i could do something" i break down, every time he does any housework i cry and say i should be helping (not that he shouldn't pitch in, but he's working full time and doing 90% of the housework while i lay around, doesn't seem right), i feel like i'm just a wreck! I've always been pretty quick to cry, i'm super emotional. I'm taking an antidepressant, but i'm wondering if it might be time to up the dosage? i also have a lot of death thoughts....Maybe i'm dying, things would be better if i died, etc.....Not that i want to, nor would i end my own life, but i do worry about these thoughts.

And, this has turned less into a question and more into a vent...Oops!

[Guest1]

I wouldn't necessarily jump to uping your dosage, but maybe you just need some counseling to help sort your feelings?

[Pirate]

Pam, when I was first DX I admit, I cried also. The feeling of not be there for your spouse in the every day life is terrible. I would get that way because I couldn't work up enough energy to go out and play with the boys, couldn't coach thier Little League games, couldn't even go out to mow the lawn. Janis was being both mom and dad and I hated it. I had thoughts of what if all the time. I still have "death thoughts" at times. Not like when I first got DX but still think about what this monster is doing to my body that I can't feel and if I'm going to live many more years because of it.
Do what you can on your good days to show your hubby what he means to you for all the help and support he gives you. You will have weeks that will be great so take advantage of them.
I also agree with Nessa about the counciling. Whether it be professional or thru a clergyman as long as you talk to someone. Have you talked to your hubby about it. If not, do it. He could be your best ear to bend. Janis has been for me.

Good luck and keep us posted on how your feeling

[CrabbyRelish]

Counseling would help and so would doing something that gets your mind off of the sadness, lack of energy, pain or anything that's keeping you down. Arts and crafts, writing, reading, playing games, hobbies like putting together a fish tank (have your husband help you change the water), set up nights or days to hang out with friends (at your house) or make more friends online etc. You may not feel like doing any of these but once you start, it's hard to stop.

[Pirate]

[Jeff D.]

Let the doctor who prescribed you the antidepressant your feelings. Antidepressents can have the opposite effect sometimes and you need to catch it. I was in a similar situation with antidepressants, I began by thinking the world would be better off if I was dead and it turned into me holding a knife against my throat. Later, I came up with a plan to drive my car into a river. Thank the Lord that I didn't do any of that but you may want to consider therapy, especially cognitive therapy, to help you out.

I'm praying for you

[Jettalady]

Wow Tamesis my husband says the same thing and wishes he could take over of the pain. I dont cry as often maybe once a month now, usually pmsing. I have thought maybe I shouldnt be here so I am not a burden to anyone but then they would be lost without me. Both my husband and I are miracle babies, my mom had German Measles in her first trimester and decided to have me anyways. My husband's father was sterile for 15 years and poof came my husband, so we are grateful for each other and love each other for better or for worse. Take it easy, there are good times ahead I promise.

[Fog Ducker]

Everyones advice so far is excellent, especially about talking to your husband, venting to him and just telling him how much you apreciate him and how you feel. Im sure he doesnt even think twice about it, and he feel just as bad for you as you feel for him having to do all the work.
I think everyone has those typeof thoughts at some point or another, I know I still get them every now and again. Just remember that it wont always be like this, thing will get better, I promise.

[katiesue1506]

I don't cry. I have issues with crying. Guess I'm just different.

Sounds to me like you are having normal feelings dealing with a chronic disease diagnosis. It is okay to cry, you have a reason.

[imisspopcorn]

Pam, you are probably just grieving over your poor health and lack of diagnosis. Definitely talk to the doctor who prescribes your antidepressant. Like Jeff said, it can have the opposite effect in some people.......

I use to really be a cryer....especially when I was in my early 20's. Now I just get down right angry..

Feel better

[shazamataz]

Hi Pam, sorry to hear you are feeling like this!

I hardly ever cry. And I don't think that's a good thing. I feel super sad but can't cry. When you cry your body is releasing all sorts of yucky emotional stuff, so please if you need to cry, do so and don't feel bad about it.

However, feeling really down is no fun. I wondered if you only recently started the antidepressants? Because the SSRI ones (prozac family) can take a while to kick in. I didn;t notice a difference for about 3-4 weeks and then I realised I didn't feel so sad anymore.

Also, talking is goo, even if it is on here - we all understand!

(((HUGS)))))

[tamesis]

Thanks so much for your kind words everyone. I try to talk to Dan about it, it's hard because he hates when i cry, and just wants to make the world better for me. He really understands how i feel, and is there for me, but at the same time i think is dealing with similar feelings.....anger, frustration, sadness, and trying not to project them on me. He really is great, sometimes overly optimistic though, which just frustrates me more.

I'm trying to make myself do things, even though i don't feel up to it. I've gotten up, showered, dressed, and gone out two days in a row now. Just to friends places to visit, other people drove, nothing that took too much energy, but got me out of the house. I have to force myself though, because what i really want to do is curl up in a ball, turn off my phones, and stay in my jammies all day!

i've been on the antidepressants for about 6 weeks now. I am doing better than i was, things were REALLY bad when he first put me on them, but i'm still not great. However, i think as has been said, this is a situational thing and i probably won't get 100% better emotionally until things are figured out a little. i do have a history of depression and suicide attempts in the past though, which is i think why i worry about my thoughts getting out of control, and why the doc. started me on them in the first place.

thanks again for all your kind thoughts....i see my doc on tuesday and will chat with him then. I'll look into counselling...I've had issues with different counsellors in the past though, i really struggle to find one i can really confide in and feel comfortable talking too, and then just when i start to open up i seem to pull away and stop going.

[imisspopcorn]

Feel better Pam...There is a strong connection between IBD and depression. Some researchers have theorized that it has to do with serotonin not being absorbed properly in the gut do to the inflammation...This isn't the exact article I was looking for, but it makes sense......I have to take meds too.
http://autoimmunedisease.suite101.co...rs_ibs_and_ibd

[tamesis]

There's just so many signs leading to an IBD, i don't know how they don't see them.Maybe i want to see them, because it means an answer?

I mean, i've been sick four times in as many months - UTI, sinus infection, strep, and bronchitis. i've got the gut stuff.....Not always D, and not losing weight, but not everyone has those. The depression, the skinny poops, the color of the stool, i can go on and on! frustrating i tell ya!

[Jerman]

Tamesis, although I certainly cannot consider myself the poster boy for antidepressants, they can sometimes take as long as 8 weeks to get to a therapeutic level. The doc may need to increase it or even possibly supplement what the first med is not currently able to do. If you are having trouble remembering when to take them you may want to get a daily pill holder. With my inability to remember or focus on some days I mix up times or forget to take them which of course is no help at all.

As far as crying, I am a firm believer in the mind, body, soul connection and if sickness,sadness,or stress is not allowed out, it WILL manifest itself in some other usually more painful manner. Be aware of the frequency of the dark thoughts as it may be that this particular pill is not the right one for you and may actually cause the symptoms to get worse. Good luck and be a strong advocate for yourself with your doc.

[Lishyloo]

Hey kid, I cried today after I pooped my pants in the park. The pooping pants bit isn't the issue, it's the being useless, cancelling days out, letting the kids down, my husband picking up the flack for everything - financially and in terms of running the family....

So, totally feelng it. For me antidepressants aren't a direction I want to go, I think a bit of snot and tears now and then does me good - let's it all out. Makes a change from letting "It" all out of my butt...

I hope you get the support you need and I am thinking of you x

[Creepy Lurker]

I actually thought back to the last time I cried. It's about 10 years ago. I'm an empty husk of a person.

:cries:

...

Yay!

[Peaches]

Creepy - I just dig your sense of humor ;o)

I *love* what Jerman said Tamesis - all of it. I think it is right on. I would definitely talk to whomever prescribed the antidepressants and tell them about the thoughts you are having asap. I mean - this is one of the things they always talk about on the commercials for the drugs when you see them. Not something to play around with.

As for crying - I typically only cry when things are really really really bad. We had a sh!tty incident happen on the forum back in....I think it was November. It made me soooo depressed. I'm not really the depressive type. I cried for almost three days straight, couldn't stop crying. My Mom finally came over and said some things that really pissed me off - and BOOM - I stopped crying and "got over it". That is how *I* work. Probably nothing like how you work though. You have reasons to feel the way you do right now. I'm hoping these reasons will pass or at least get more manageable as time passes. The only other things that can make me cry "for no reason" are meds like steroids - I'll cry in the grocery store or wherever for no reason on roids sometimes. AND...if I'm really sick, like running a fever - oh baby - look out! I'm likely to start crying like a baby for no reason. THAT is when I know - I...am...sick. Maybe some of what you are going through is from that as well. I hope you feel better soon ((hugs))!!

[tamesis]

Thanks everyone, everything you've said does make sense. I'm going to talk to the doc. Tuesday for sure. I think i just feel like everything is piling up, just when one thing seems to start to improve, everything else seems to go in the crapper. I was having trouble taking the meds on time, but i went and got one of those med keepers, it has seven days, morn, noon, eve, bed, so i put them in there once a week and it's easier to remember if i've taken them or not, plus i leave them on the coffee table so if i have a drink i'm like oh yeah, meds. :P

Thank you again, i really appretiate all the support. it's nice to hear these feelings are fairly normal. i think the not sleeping deffinately makes things soo much worse too.

[imisspopcorn]

Originally Posted by Creepy Lurker

I actually thought back to the last time I cried. It's about 10 years ago. I'm an empty husk of a person.

:cries:

...

Yay!

Here's a tissue Creepy....

tamesis I hope you get some good sleep.

[Tan]

Hi Tam.. Im very similar too you Im a very sensitive and emotional person and tend to cry at the drop of a hat.. ha..ha.. well not as much now as I used to when I was younger. But I can tell you I have had my fair share of crying before and after getting diagnosed. Even now that Im diagnosed and getting treatment I still have my days when Im feeling down and just want to cry because Im not sure the drugs are working or Im feeling like crap etc. I do think it helps talking to someone I had thought about a councillor but havent done anything bout it yet.. my chiro funny enough her best friend has crohns too and has struggled for many years with it and having kids etc. She has spoken to her friend and give me her number if I want to catch up for coffee just to chat and talk face to face with some one else that has this terrible disease. I haven't talk to her yet but am considering it just to get all this stuff I have bottled up out and for the person to hear what I have to stay to be able to actually relate to it. I do speak with my hubby and family all the time bout it but its just not the same they can't fully relate to being this sick all the time and having a disease that feel like a weight on your shoulders for the rest of your life. Sorry Im sounding very depressing now.. all I wanted to say hang in there we all know how it feels. Hope you get some answers soon.

[drew_wymore]

Originally Posted by Creepy Lurker

I actually thought back to the last time I cried. It's about 10 years ago. I'm an empty husk of a person.

:cries:

...

Yay!

Just pointing out I have a man crush on creepy.

Anyways it's been a little while since I've cried but I've had a few breakdowns. Good that you're at least acknowledging and talking about it. That's the hardest part.

[merrywidow]

i cry at soppy films . i rarely get to watch a film all the way through as i find sitting still for 90 mins impossilable. i also cry at the milestones my son is making knowing that my husband is missing them.

[Nytefyre]

Originally Posted by Jeff D.

Let the doctor who prescribed you the antidepressant your feelings. Antidepressents can have the opposite effect sometimes and you need to catch it. I was in a similar situation with antidepressants, I began by thinking the world would be better off if I was dead and it turned into me holding a knife against my throat. Later, I came up with a plan to drive my car into a river. Thank the Lord that I didn't do any of that but you may want to consider therapy, especially cognitive therapy, to help you out.

I'm praying for you

Sorry to hear that Jeff. And sorry to the OP for her sadness. But I agree about the antidepressant having the opposite effect. Definitely talk to your docs about how you feel. CBT may help. I, too, have been having crying spells over the last month or two. And I am off to the shrink (two of them) on Monday for some CBT and some mood stabilizers. I hope that you can get the help you need.

[Jettalady]

Originally Posted by drew_wymore

Just pointing out I have a man crush on creepy.



Anyways it's been a little while since I've cried but I've had a few breakdowns. Good that you're at least acknowledging and talking about it. That's the hardest part.

[MINI Cooper]

It's good to cry now and then. have to release the emotions otherwise
they build up inside like a volcano holding out for that big eruption.
for whatever reason, society likes to determine that crying is a sign of weakness,
but it isn't. Some studies have even shown that men die earlier than women
because they don't get the emotional release that women do.
Obviously if you're crying ever day, that is different. But every now and
then when things get bad, it is perfectly natural. God created tear ducts for a reason!

[Sue-2009]

tamesis...I too have always been emotional. I have a feeling its connected to my recent flare & diagnosis. Like I have posted before, I cried like a baby when they told me it was crohns...And I still cry....Its overwhelming...expecially when you see the trials and tribs some of the fellow crohnies go through..I take anti depressents, it helps..but. I still get overwhelmed...Sue ((((hugs))))

[Pirate]

Pam I had a good long cry today . Just the thoughts of going thru anxiety attacks and panic attacks again after all these years scares the heck out of me. Some times the emotions can be so overwhelming that it takes someone you love to be able to get you out of it. But a good cry helps get things going in the right direction.

[Tan]

I'm crying right now But my mum gave me a big hug and made it all better.. for now anyway. Can't wait for my hubby to get home tonight.

[Samantha]

I've been crying at least once a day since being on the steroids. They have really made me weepy, but I do feel a bit better afterwards.