I'm so sorry that your son has been through so much. I really hope that Remicade will work well for him.
My daughter is extremely sensitive to all kinds of physical stuff, to the point where she was often hysterical during her first hospitalization due to the blood draws and IV's. I really did not see how we would ever manage Remicade, but we're almost 2 years into it now, and we've figured out ways to make it bearable, for her and us.
First, we always put 5% lidocaine cream on her arm about an hour before the IV goes in. We also use a Buzzy (buzzyhelps.com) while the IV is placed, and that helps too. (Lately we've been leaving the Buzzy strapped to her upper arm during the infusion, and she presses the button occasionally when she feels any twinges of pain.) She plays games and watches videos on an iPad during the infusion itself, and I also bring some of her favorite foods along. Finally, we used a small dose of Ativan (lorazepam) for the first few infusions, because she was really anxious beforehand, even in the car on the way to the hospital. She doesn't need the Ativan any more.
There are also kids on the forum who've successfully gone to see a therapist about their needle phobia, so that's another option.
One nice thing about Remicade is that blood draws can be done during the IV placement, so there's often no need for separate blood draws for labs.
Good luck with everything--hope things get easier soon. :ghug: