Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » You might have Crohns if…


 
01-22-2010, 10:18 PM   #1
Booker
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You might have Crohns if…

You go to the toilet more than five times a day

You get excited when you only have to flush once to get it all down

You know where all the public bathrooms are within 5 miles of home

And you have rated them

You look forward to a colonoscopy because it means just a few more visits than normal to the toilet during prep and no visits to the toilet for at least a day after the procedure

Your coworkers (if you still have a job) aren’t sure if your office is in the toilet or not

You have a list of too many foods to count that you can’t eat anymore

You have a list of too many meds to count you are taking or have taken

Please add more...
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01-22-2010, 10:25 PM   #2
Fog Ducker
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LOL! Those are great!

You can go through a roll of toilet paper in less than a day.

You have used the side of the road as a bathroom

You carry toilet paper in the car with you for above reason.
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Dx UC: 2006. Dx CD: 2008
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01-22-2010, 10:31 PM   #3
Crohn's 35
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You carry a spare pair of undies (Pirate uses shorts lol) in your car.

You steal your childs babywipes.

You fart and no one notices anymore lol.
01-22-2010, 11:05 PM   #4
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You always have the following on hand: toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes/fresh wipes, and air freshener. Yup, I keep all of those in my bag.
01-22-2010, 11:08 PM   #5
Fog Ducker
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You have taken your laptop into the bathroom cause you know its gonna be a long stay and you cant miss out on the shenanigans on CF!!
01-23-2010, 12:01 AM   #6
D Bergy
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You went to the bathroom at 6:00 AM but you did not get out of bed until 6:05.

Dan
01-23-2010, 12:14 AM   #7
misscris
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You have frankensteined it across a store sweating the whole way afraid you won't make it.
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01-23-2010, 12:47 AM   #8
imisspopcorn
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Your family has unanimously decided you smell worse than the dog.
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01-23-2010, 01:16 AM   #9
razz
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The skin tag on your anus got so big you named it 'Wilbur"

You get really impressed by how easy and well your children poop.

You can never be sure if the fart smell was you or someone else.

The last time you wore a g-string it was like a torture.

You have 2 sizes in your wardrobe size 'flaring' and size 'not flaring' ( I guess thats if your lucky and have non flaring times).

You join a forum that discusses poop in great length (and you love it!)
01-23-2010, 01:18 AM   #10
imisspopcorn
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Good ones razz....My hubby always asks why I don't wear thongs anymore...I'm glad I'm not alone.....And the Prednisone size clothes too!
01-23-2010, 01:40 AM   #11
razz
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Wilbur (the skin tag) really hates sexy undies lol.
01-23-2010, 02:38 AM   #12
shazamataz
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You know you have Crohns when the prednisone makes you grow a beard - and you are a woman.

You know you have Crohn's when poop becomes one of the main focuses of your life.

You know you have Crohn's when you are scared to fart, just in case.

You know you have Crohn's when sometimes a trip to the toilet feels like giving birth.
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01-23-2010, 03:27 AM   #13
tamesis
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i thought i was the only one that couldn't wear thongs anymore! I had to go buy all new underwear, and find some that DIDN'T wedge, which was hard to do, because any form of wedgie hurts sooooo bad! Half the time around home i just wear long nighties and no undies if i'm not having a really bad D day, because they're so uncomfy.

You know you have Crohns when your husband says "more butt stuff" when you go the pharmacy.

you know you have Crohns when you get a bigger purse for your "crohnie" stuff, such as fresh undies, wipes, calmo

you know you have Crohns when you have to turn up the TV because your guy is so noisy.

You know you have Crohns when you buy panty liners to put at the back of your undies, just in case, but don't use them for their designated purpose.
01-23-2010, 03:33 AM   #14
shazamataz
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he he Pam did you realised you typed 'your guy is so noisy'? LOL
01-23-2010, 03:56 AM   #15
tamesis
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LOL, no! I meant Gut.....but i'll leave it, 'cause it's funny.
01-23-2010, 09:31 AM   #16
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D Bergy said:
You went to the bathroom at 6:00 AM but you did not get out of bed until 6:05.

Dan
I know it really isn't funny but the way you tell it ..
01-23-2010, 10:08 AM   #17
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You know you have Crohns if you spend more on toilet paper than you do food

You know you have Crohns when your best friends are on CF

You know you have Crohns if you've add a new bathroom to your house 5 ft from your bed

You know you have Crohns if you have 4 complete sets of clothes in your closet that are 3 differant sizes per set

You know you have Crohns if you've ever seriously thought about carrying a corn cob with you.
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01-23-2010, 10:21 AM   #18
kenny
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when you actually consider buying nut flour

There are three rolls of toilet paper stacked on the back of the toilet so you never run out

While on a long drive you find you need to stop for a bio-break more often than your wife!
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01-23-2010, 02:19 PM   #19
Guestly
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You know you have crohns when you decide to wear an adult nappy for a special night out...

When the last time you got out the sewing machine it was to
make a water proof yet absorbant washable removable cover for your car seat - yes I did...

When you get excited about having a commode delivered to your house!

When the Dr's receptionist recognises your voice on the phone and asks you how you are doing before you introduced yourself...

When you get invited to a wedding and there is a note in the invite letting you know the bride and groom gave arranged for a toilet to be reserved for your exclusive use!

When the pharmacist has pound/dollar signs in his eyes as soon as you walk in the store...

When you've installed a program on your phone that sat navs you to the nearest walking (100 mtr dash) distance toilet.. Best thing I ever bought...

When, despite being a connoiseur of the public convenience, you actually have no shame, and have in desperation ended up with other peoples urine or poo on your clothes/skin because in fact you will poo anywhere, no matter how disgusting the facility...

When if you get asked how you are, the safest response ( and the only one the enquirer really wants to hear) is a tight lipped "fine", rather than a detailed recount of how you have been squirting through the eye of a needle for two days and your ring piece is on fire....

When you high-five with your husband after doing a genuine windy fart in bed.
.. as opposed to the squelch followed by a red faced scramble outta there...

When you have lots of ideas for a thread like this!
01-23-2010, 05:33 PM   #20
imisspopcorn
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When you go to your daughter's soccer game, only to spend half the game in the toilet
01-23-2010, 11:30 PM   #21
my.december
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When you have diaper rash worse than your 4 month old niece.

And I'm jealous of everyone who gets a break in toilet visits after a colonoscopy. I swear, I ate dinner afterward, and was back on the toilet less than an hour after getting home from the hospital. Ridiculous.
01-24-2010, 02:37 AM   #22
mwb3779
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When you eat something and immediately think "Oh God...."
When you clean your bathroom beautifully and then promptly destroy your toilet.....
When you have had to poop in the shower.....
When you go out anywhere and think I hope I don't have to use that.....
If you've ever laughed so hard you've crapped yourself and didn't care.... You might have Crohn's.
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...Never trust a fart
01-24-2010, 03:44 AM   #23
tamesis
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If you have almost flooded the bathroom trying to get out of the bath and to the toilet before you poop in the tub.
When you have to skip family gatherings because there's only one bathroom, and you just can take the risk that it won't be available when you need it.
01-24-2010, 08:38 AM   #24
My Butt Hurts
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You keep a tube of Calmoseptine in your purse, in your bathroom, and one extra in the closet just in case.
You wear a pantiliner even when you don't have your period.
You can fart out a different hole.
You have post-traumatic-crap-your-pants-in-public disorder (PTCYPIPD), and are never going to get over it.
You take more pills than your grandma.
You're the only one at the movie theater who isn't eating popcorn.
You feel like crap, weigh next to nothing, yet people say "Oo, you look so good!"
You have to drive to the park instead of walk/ride bikes.
You have an actual toilet in the back of your minivan, and have used it several times.
You've had your ass-cheeks taped apart right before a surgery, and you couldn't wait to tell your CF friends that detail.

And a slightly different one, but still true - you might have Crohn's if you are in remission and have a completely new outlook on life. I am so thankful and appreciative for every day that I feel good now.
01-24-2010, 03:36 PM   #25
shazamataz
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My Butt Hurts said:
You can fart out a different hole.
OMG, I know this is so horrible for people but it must be in your delivery Jill, made me laugh a lot
01-24-2010, 04:38 PM   #26
mwb3779
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My Butt Hurts said:
You take more pills than your grandma.
You're the only one at the movie theater who isn't eating popcorn.
I love these two!

My grandma and I were actually comparing pill boxes!

I just went to see Extraordinary Measures today and was one of the only people in theater not munching on popcorn.
01-24-2010, 05:02 PM   #27
katiesue1506
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When there is a storm coming, you check to make sure you have enough toilet paper BEFORE you check for milk, bread, and eggs.

You have the dietary range of an 85 year old woman.

You are so proud when a fart really comes out as a fart.

When normal people complain about a routine colonoscopy you say "its really not that bad as long as you prep with Miralax" and they have NO CLUE what you are talking about OR they are more horrified.

You have to clean the potty as often as you shower.

You've used a wide range of air fresheners, candles, and perfumes... but you still smell the offending odor under it all.

You know how many tiles are on your floor, ceiling, and walls.

You know how many tiles it takes for your feet to fit perfectly inside them.

You've read every bottle in your your bathroom, three times over. AND you wonder why you don't get paid to write those things by now.

When you gotta go... you GOT TO GO.

You have an "oh shit" handle in your bathroom for when times get scary.

You tried to keep reading material in the bathroom, but you go through it so fast that its not worth even buying it anymore.

You own more underwear than anyone you know.
01-24-2010, 05:09 PM   #28
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You know when your Gi sees your butt more than any other person.

You have a cupboard full of medications and remedies more than your Food cupboard.
01-24-2010, 05:45 PM   #29
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*Great* idea Booker!!

You know what the Bristol Stool scale is and you celebrate when you get a 3 or 4.
You can not contain your happiness and have to go share with your CF buddies that you just got a 3 or a 4 on the scale!!!!
You have had a DEXA scan before the age of 50.
You have a repeat schedule for colonoscopies set up as reminders at your GI’s office….for years…again, before the age of 50.
You know what a fistula is and how to explain it properly to someone…who then looks at you like you are an alien.
You are no longer afraid of needles, IVs or long things that get inserted in different orifices.
You can swallow 10 pills at once, no problem.
You actually rate the different flavors at Ensure…..before the age of 80 :O)
You are accustomed to laying little swaths of TP down before you go so you don’t leave streaks and have to flush a bazillion times to get rid of them.
You are well acquainted with a plunger.
You know that no amount of “matching” is gonna get rid of that smell!
You have belly scars – and it isn’t from child birth.
You can empathize way too much with people who have the stomach flu.
You know remission isn’t just for cancer patients.
01-24-2010, 08:19 PM   #30
Pirate
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You may have Crohns if you can identify famous faces or animals in the design in the tiles on the floor.
You may have Crohns if you have named your toilet and you plunger
You may have Crohns if a construction site port-a-john looks good.
You may have Crohns if you don't care that you just walked into the womens room and you find an empty stall anyways
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