Crohn's Disease Forum » Support Forum » Vent Away » Pred, Ex-Boyfriends, New Boyfriends.

01-02-2014, 05:24 PM   #1
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Holly's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

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Pred, Ex-Boyfriends, New Boyfriends.

Really need this vent.
If any of you read my posts you will know that I split up with my long long long term boyfriend about 6/7 months ago.
and then I got a new boyfriend who is awesome (he is still on the scene)
But then I had 2 family bereavements within 3 weeks of each other.
annnnnnd, I had some 'friend' stuff happening, and then my new boyfriend had to meet my ex-boyfriend at a party and that was all kinds of awkward, and then my ex-boyfriend got picked up from the party by the girl he cheated on me with, so that made me feel immense!
and then I keep dreaming about my ex, I mean wtf is that about?!
and I keep having overwhelming urges to text him, like I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to talk to him, and I don't know why? Cause my new guy is awesome and amazing. But after seeing my ex on Saturday I do miss the banter we had, and I dunno what to do, I am on pred now and it's making my emotions go crazzzzy!
I dunno what to do! Aaaaaaa!
Holly xxx
Crohn's Disease

...of the Terminal Ileum/Rectum
Diagnosed w/Crohns
Pentasa 4x1g
Azathioprine 125mg
Due to Start Humira

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01-02-2014, 05:29 PM   #2
nogutsnoglory's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: New York

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I think its normal to miss someone even if they weren't right for you and it didn't work out. You were close, probably best friends and lovers and you had a bond that is hard to replace. I can't tell you what to do but I think if you reach out it would make it harder to let go of this relationship and could jeopardize your new one. My two cents.
01-02-2014, 06:02 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Coatbridge, United Kingdom
Don,t go there!it,ll end in disaster
01-02-2014, 07:35 PM   #4
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Location: Lee, New Hampshire

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My friend said this to me and it helpped me put things in perspective: (author unknown). I hope it helps, really think about it.. Ok?!

"The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's heart with NO intensions on loving her".

If he cheated once, he will again! And he had that exact person pick him up at your party!

You deserve better, give this current man a chance to awake your heart WITH the intentions on loving you!!!!!

Stay strong and know you are worth more!
01-02-2014, 11:43 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: California

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It's very common after ending a relationship. There is always this sense of unfinished business because the love doesn't just automatically die just because there is immense hurt and pain; it is severed, so to speak, in this case by the infidelity. My husband put it like this: when a person has an amputation, they often believe they can feel the missing limb, and the same is true with a break up. Just because the person is gone doesn't mean you don't still have feelings, but it is important to remind yourself why you broke up and that it is healthier for you to move on. Trust is the minimum in any relationship. When you feel like you need to talk to him, try writing down what you want to say to him and then burn up the paper. That way you feel as though you had your say and you don't risk opening an old wound. You don't want to hurt your new guy grasping at loose ends. Girl, we've all been there, believe me, it's not worth it. *hugs*


Current Meds: Inflectra, Methotrexate, Prevacid, Cymbalta, Trazadone, Atenelol
05-01-2014, 02:23 PM   #6
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Notts, United Kingdom
It's the emotional attachment and bond you have with your ex... you had a long relationship with each other so naturally he is gonna come to mind... i still think about my long term ex and your ex prolly still thinks about you too!

It takes time to build that kind of bond with someone, you will build one with your new guy i expect
05-04-2014, 04:30 PM   #7
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: United Kingdom

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This is all pretty normal after ending a relationship.. It took me a while to stop missing my last ex and he was a total tool bag, shouting, swearing , letting his family threaten me.. But I still missed him. After a while though, I realised that I was so.much better off without him, I picked my head up and I spent my energy on my new guy ( my best friend at the time) .

It's hard right now I know, but you'll get there, it'll get easier with time, and we'll all be here to talk to if you need us. My ex still tries to contact me know, but it doesn't bother me any more, I just delete the message and go talk to my guy, and remember how much I'm loved now.

*Hugs* we've all been here, and no one here will judge you, so if you need to vent, vent.

coeliac disease/Osteopenia /Crohns/Arthritis/cluster headaches/
laperoscopic hemicolectomy 25/06/ 2013

Meds- Vedolizumab, pentasa, Lansoprazole, Vitamin D, prochlorperazine, Oramorph, MST, B12 shots My journey with crohns:

Allergic to - inflectra, aza

Non CD meds - Gabapentin, paracetamol, ventolin
05-04-2014, 05:07 PM   #8
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Sending support.

Diagnosed in 1990. On Humira, Imuran, Gabapentin, Colestipol, Synthroid, Lialda. Resection in April of 2010. Allergic to Remicade, Penicillin, Flagyl, Doxycycline. Thyroid issues and psoriasis and neuropathy and mild cerebral palsy. Mild arthritis in my lower back.

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